Personal Growth

Depending on where you live, winter can be a difficult time to stay energetic and motivated. Cloudy days and cold temperatures can leave people feeling lethargic and unmotivated.

After a week long trip to Europe in January, I found myself struggling with all the things mentioned above. I simply was not on my “A” game. But then I remembered how John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, would start every season teaching his team how to tie their shoes properly to avoid injury. He did this because discipline is elementary, and discipline matters to performance.

Elementary school also works best when lessons are repeated frequently. The alphabet, multiplication tables, and just about every kind of elementary learning are repeated until they take root in our early years. Somewhere along the educational journey, however, a mindset shift occurs and repetition no longer seems necessary.

When I found myself in the rut mentioned above, I was saved by an appointment on my calendar entitled “weekly review.” This 30-minute time is there for me to review the following:

1. My goals for 2020
2. My personal Key Results Area (KRA)
3. My Rule of Life
4. My next week (I outline tasks, declare what my top 3 objectives are, and sharpen focus around them)

There is not a week that goes by where I feel like I have adequate time to do this. Yet, I have come to discover that in actuality, I don’t have time NOT to do this. For, it always reorients me back to what matters.

My encouragement to you this week is to identify what disciplines you need to review on a weekly basis. Schedule these because they will not happen otherwise. And don’t fret about how elementary they feel because discipline starts with the basics.

One of our team members was recently promoted to a leadership role. In a meeting explaining the role he was going to take on he said, “I like doing all the crap that nobody likes to do. That’s why I have always had a job.”

Want a promotion?

Do the work no one else wants to do.

Do it well.

Repeat.

It is that simple.

My Executive Coach recently presented me with a business opportunity:

He said:

“You have $2,000.

I have $50.00.

Do you want to trade?”

Of course I don’t, I replied.

“Then stop spending so much time on email, and other $50 tasks. You are a leader, and should be spending your time doing $2,000 tasks.”

Message received.

To be someone worth following, you must get from behind the computer, or cell-phone, and into the trenches.

One-on-one human relationships are still the currency of leadership.

Spend your time, therefore, wisely.

Don’t miss the next post where I share how I have made a game out of time-management. Discover how to win at time management (and stop feeling guilty).

Defined broadly, health encompasses the body, the mind, the soul, and even the emotions. To be someone worth following, you need to maintain quality overall health. This means all of the above.

While I have definitive strategies around what I do to keep the body, the soul, and even the emotions, healthy; today’s post is about the mind. People generally gravitate to people that are upbeat, active, positive, and encouraging. On the other hand, people tend to shy away from those who are self-absorbed, in denial, and angry. So in today’s post, I want to highlight three areas that impact the mind’s health:

Anxiety

Community

Sleep

The first area of focus, anxiety, is cancerous to your psyche. Everyone I know knows this, yet the ironic thing about anxiety is that telling yourself to be less anxious is the easiest easy way to become more anxious. So, what do you do?

I have discovered that writing things down reduces anxiety. Because of this, I use Michael Hyatt’s Full Focus Planner, and the Apple Notes app on my phone. I then write everything that comes to mind down. It sounds too simple, and it is really is. The mere act of writing things down gets things off the mind on the (or a) to-do list. While writing everything down definitely helps, however, it does not resolve anxiety entirely.

I am also an unashamed pray-er. I’ll even pray for you if you send me a message, and that isn’t a token gesture. I write the prayer requests down as well (both mine and yours!) and spend time praying over them each morning and evening. To do this, I use a simple acronym “CHAT” where I confess, honor God with attributes, ask – this is where the list comes handy – and give thanks for what has occurred. This process reduces anxiety by helping me get outside myself and my own needs. This is still true, even though I am spending a portion of my time praying for me because even then I am asking for help. Even if you dismiss prayer’s supernatural component, I challenge you to practice some version of the acronym above that forces you to get outside of self.

Second, the next thing I do to counter anxiety is actually the second area of focus for mental health — yes, these three are interconnected. Moving from isolation to community is vital in a day and age where isolation is more prevalent than it ever has been. While technology, and the advancement of social networks, allow us to be connected 24/7 from anywhere on the globe, the connectedness has come at cost. Can you honestly say that you feel healthier —less anxious —on days when you spend more time on devices? Worse, technology has in large part fooled us into thinking that it can replace the one-on-one human elements of community. If it did, would we be so addicted to it, and would we work so hard to gather “likes?” My belief, and the research of Cal Newport and others have led me to this belief, is that sitting in front of someone and sharing our life is not only necessary for us to thrive, it also has a profound impact on our anxiety and mental health. In short, we need human interaction. And the beautiful thing about this reality is that it is something we can control. For anyone can meet with a friend twice per month over coffee. It just takes a little intentionality.

Intentionality is also needed for the third area of focus, sleep. This post is already longer than usual, so I cannot give sleep the time it deserves. Notice the irony in that statement. If you are like me, your excuses for not getting enough sleep probably sound something like that! They do for me. So, here is the unfortunate truth about lacking sleep: it will profoundly impact your desire to meet with others, your anxiety, your spiritual health, your physical health, your emotions, and even your mental health. It simply impacts everything. So, what if you rearranged your life so that you slept 7 hours per night in 2020? What impact would that have on your overall health? Believe it or not, this is one of my goals because I believe it will pay huge dividends in my life.

If you are still with me, one last word of caution. If anything I have written above makes you feel guilty about past behavior (I should be getting more sleep, I should be prioritizing relationships more, etc.) stop that voice immediately. The point of this post is to make changes in these areas to improve your mental health.

People like us reflect.

People like us change.

That’s how we become worth following in 2020.

Expect short posts of encouragements — and an occasional longer one like today — throughout 2020. If that sounds like something that will help you improve in 2020, please subscribe so I can send encouragement directly into your inbox.

One of my goals with this blog is to be real. I don’t have a ghost writer, so what follows is something that actually happened. It is also something I don’t want to share because it is not flattering. But the uncomfortable stories are the ones worth sharing because there is much to learn from them. And to be sure, I have learned something from this one.

The other night I had a dream that was telling about my inner-life. I dreamt that my wife, Sarah, had come out with a book and it was an instant success. The details in the dream were vague, but what was not vague was my jealousy towards her success. In the dream, she was a New York Times’ Best Seller, and my ego could not handle how much better she was as writing than I am/was. In fact, all I could feel in the dream was a deep-seated jealously for the one the one person I love more than any human being on the planet.

I am one messed up human being, aren’t I?

Deep inside of me is an insecurity that wonders if I will ever be good enough. Will my writing ever take off? Will I lead in a way that advances Hoffer Plastics, or will I fail? Will I look back and be proud of what our children became, or will I have regrets? Will Sarah consider me a good husband thirty years from now, or will there be things I could have done better?

Back to what’s really behind the dream, will I be the kind of person that cheers others on when they do something better than me at something I really care about?

Do I trust God enough to be okay with His provision for my life if said provision does not include the wildest, and often biggest, dreams inside my heart?

These are deep questions, obviously, that I share in hopes that you will ask them yourself.

As for me, I told Sarah about my dream the other night as we sat down to pray together. I told her that her husband is vane and insecure. This could not have surprised her because she knows me better than any other human-being. And for the record, she was hardly upset at a dream. In fact, I think my admission gave her a little laugh.

But I take it seriously because I know these insecurities exist in my heart. I also know that this season points to the birth of a Savior whose entire existence was based on the reality that I am already enough. When I remember this, I can let go of everything else.

The question today is what is in your self-worth based on?

To be someone worth following, you need to know.

Take a few minutes today to think through the questions above. They’re not easy, but dealing with them will help you on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.

Welcome to excuseville. Everyone is welcome, all you need is an excuse.

Welcome to all the washed-up former high school athletes. We agree that if it wasn’t for that one coach, or that terrible injury, you would have made the big leagues. We will be happy to keep sulking with you because that is what we do in excuseville.

Welcome to the disgruntled workers. We are sure that it is everyone else’s fault that your job lacks excitement. And don’t pay attention to those performance reviews, we agree they are bogus. Your boss is the real problem. They are the reason you have not climbed the ladder.

Welcome all members of Congress. You are our platinum members! Let’s keep pointing fingers and getting nothing done. Those are some of the founding tenets of excuseville!

Welcome to all those who are “too busy.” So are we! That’s why we sit on the couch and endlessly stream shows. With millions of hours of distraction, we cannot possibly run out of excuses for not reading books, going to the gym, or being a better parent.

Welcome to those who have actually tried to do something and failed. Don’t get back up, or “learn from your failure.” That takes a lot of energy. Join the crowd and make some excuses instead. You will find plenty of support when you do that!

And finally, welcome to all the business leaders, CEOs, owners of professional sports franchises, and, well, everyone in any kind of position of authority. Keep blaming the people you lead for YOUR crappy performance. Disregard any notion that it is your fault.

That, after all, is what excuseville is all about.

Think of someone wildly successful. What are the traits that define them? While there are potentially hundreds, here are three that I believe are non-negotiable.

1. Do the hard things.

People wildly successful run towards danger —especially conflict —and not away from it. Abraham Lincoln was advised that his life was in danger prior to even coming to Washington D.C. after he was elected president. He went anyway, and going eventually cost his life, but not before he changed the history of our Country. You might not be leading a nation, but to be successful you have to do the hard things: Have the one-on-one conversation, travel to see the customer in person, even discipline —out of love —your child. These aren’t easy, but they define successful people.

2. Persevere

Of all the people in the twentieth century who faced tremendous adversity, Martin Luther King, Jr. has to be at, or near, the top of the list. He was beaten, thrown in prison, and hated. Yet, he kept going on with the mission of racial equality. He faced his oppressors head-on and returned non-violence for their violence. I fear this example has become so commonplace that it long ago lost its wonder, so take a minute to consider how many others would have given up along the way. Or, look around. Who in your life has overcome unthinkable odds, even systemic racism or poverty, and persevered? While I don’t think anyone should have to apologize for God’s blessings on their upbringing or family, I do think we should take notice of those who have had the odds stacked against them from the beginning of their life. And this trait is evident in business, where far too many people succumb to the challenges faced everyday. The next time you are hit in the face, get back up. Repeat as necessary.

3. Accept responsibility for what you can control

Michael Jordan almost always took the last shot with the game on the line. In his famous Nike commercial, he sums up his views: “26 times I have been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan never blamed Scottie Pippen for missing the game-winning shot. Rather, he accepted responsibility. Run through the tape–he never blamed teammates. He may have gotten into fist fights with them in practice, but he never blamed them publicly post game. Winners don’t. Yet, we live in a society filled with “experts” that blame others all the time. Not only is this toxic, but it is exactly the kind of thing losers do. As my dad has told me since I was a child: “Son, in golf you have no one to blame but yourself. That’s what makes it such a great game.” Same goes for leadership, for people worth following accept responsibility for their contribution rather than blaming others or making excuses.

I challenge you to think this week about these three attributes. Which one, if you are honest, do you need to focus on? Admittedly, this is not rocket science. My experience tells me that while people understand this content, they fail to implement it. How do I know? Because I have to constantly remind myself to do the hard things, persevere, and accept responsibility for what I can control.

Every Wednesday this October, I am sharing one thought or idea from Dr. Henry Cloud. I wouldn’t be the leader I am today without Dr. Cloud’s books, teaching, and guidance from afar. This content comes from the EntreLeadership Podcast. Not only do I listen to the EL podcast every Monday morning at the gym, I strongly believe you should as well. The content is simply can’t miss material!

Why you should no longer be afraid…

I have spent too much time fearing things that may never happen.

Can you relate?

In his interview with Alex Judd, Dr. Henry Cloud made what seemed like a passing comment about fear that stopped me in my tracks:

“The day you are no longer afraid because you know how to learn.”

This statement stopped me in my tracks because it changes the focus from fear to learning. This puts the onus on you, the leader, to learn.

And here is the secret in case you don’t notice it…

You can learn.

You can always learn.

What if the diagnosis is cancer?

Research the best medical help, get your mind right, and go to battle.

What if your top customer is pulling all their business?

Look at what drove them to that decision, adjust your game plan, target new markets, and aggressively grow your business.

What if your spouse tells you they’re unhappy?

Do some introspection. Value THEM more. Get some counseling. Above all, LEARN.

LEARN!

You and I don’t have to go through life afraid. That is if we put our best efforts into learning.

There are always skills to be gained.

Leaders – The people around us can get better. Let’s encourage, equip, and empower them this week. Everyone matters on our team.

But, let’s also remember that WE can get better as well.

Getting better starts with learning, and that’s the day when we no longer have anything to fear.

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