Hoffer’s 65th Anniversary
Hoffer’s 65th Anniversary Read More »
Personal Growth
Did WE get a bonus?
“Did WE get a bonus,” asked Sarah as I walked into the door. It was the end of the year, the company had done well, and so her anticipation was appropriate.
“Yes, WE did,” I replied.
All of us play a “we” game.
Take me for example.
Without Sarah, I wouldn’t travel nearly as much. Without Sarah, I wouldn’t have the flexibility to stay late, or walk the floor on Saturday mornings. Without Sarah, I’d come to work needing affirmation, instead of finding it at home. Without Sarah, my blog would be much worse (and that may not have anything to do with work or the bonus, but it would surely impact you, the reader!).
The company wins because of the sacrifices Sarah makes.
Yes, WE got a bonus.
You have a support team behind you as well: family and friends who fortify you physically and emotionally in order to allow you to show up every day and give your all.
And your team members at work have a support system of people, too—people you may never meet—who indirectly benefit your company even though their names aren’t on the payroll.
Everyone brings their life with them to work.
As leaders we need to not only remember this, we have to remember to reward the sacrifices THEY make, too. Granted, a bonus is one way. But it surely is not the only way.
Let’s remember, and honor, the people behind the people we count on each day.
It is a “we” game.
Did WE get a bonus? Read More »
Making Yourself Better vs. Making Yourself Feel Better
Recently on his podcast, Tim Ferriss considered the differences between making yourself better and making yourself feel better. As he explained, making yourself better forces you to confront your own weaknesses and do something about them. This takes time, humility, and a willingness to sacrifice short-term comfort for long-term growth. Conversely, making yourself feel better can happen instantaneously, but often only lasts momentarily.
This got me thinking about how much of life is now oriented to the moment:
-Tweet or post something that makes you look good.
-Indulge in the large dessert.
-Ask Alexa to order something you want but don’t really need.
-Reply All to get your point across.
-Gossip about the latest drama involving someone who has irritated you.
-Read the latest “bing” on your phone instead of looking your spouse in the eye when they’re talking to you.
The list is not close to being exhaustive. The challenge is things like this come up frequently. But are we committed to making ourselves better?
Consider how different choices can actually produce long-term, lasting improvement:
-Not posting self-promotional things on social media slowly chips away at our selfishness and helps us genuinely celebrate others.
-Passing on the dessert until it is adequately earned in the gym eventually leads to weight loss and better self image.
-Saying no to unnecessary consumerism over time allows you the peace and freedom of financial security.
-Letting someone else get the last word allows you to grow in humility.
-Conversing directly with someone you have conflict with created relational peace and deeper relationships.
-Turning your phone off so that your attention is entirely on your spouse creates space for authentic conversations that bond you together and grow your marriage.
These are choices we face every day.
You just have to be willing to do the harder thing, for now, so that you can get better in the long run.
Isn’t that the way to feeling better—really feeling better—in the long-term anyway?
Making Yourself Better vs. Making Yourself Feel Better Read More »
Training the Mind
I want to become a better putter when I play golf. I have a 6.5 handicap, and my putting is what holds me back from going lower. While my life won’t necessarily be any better when I achieve a scratch handicap, what motivates me about this goal is overcoming the resistance to it.
As most golfers can attest, putting is largely mental. In other words, the more active your mind becomes, the less likely the ball will go into the hole. And if those thoughts have even the hint of doubt in them, you have no chance.
Overcoming this matters because this kind of resistance creeps into other areas of life. The mind works this way. The golf round may end, but does the mind quit thinking negatively when you leave the course? Most likely, the humbling answer is no. Otherwise, all the positive self-energy that one brought to the course would have more of an impact on the course than it actually does.
Here is where my editor will probably remind me that golf is just a game (and you are right, Sarah), but the reason I get so frustrated is because the game has implications to life.
So how do you overcome this? Much has been written by people way more accomplished than me on the topics of concentration, mental attitudes, etc. (note: One of my favorites is “The Inner Game of Tennis.” So I can hardly add anything to what’s already been written or said. Instead, I am going to share how I am training my mind for the upcoming golf season in hopes that it will not only improve my game, but also my thinking outside the game (I’ll report back in October as to how the season went).
Stating the obvious, in order to get better at something, one needs to practice. Not just any practice will do, either; it needs to be “deliberate.” (One last note: “deliberate practice” is another topic that has been largely written about the last few years. Angela Duckworth’s “Grit” is my favorite). So in terms of my putting practice, I am honing in on a simple 3-step process that I am going to utilize all of 2018 (I apologize for the golf-nerdiness that follows).
The Routine:
- I am gong to line putts up BEFORE taking my stance.
- I am going to maintain a grip pressure light enough that one could pull the club out of my hands
- I am going to slightly press the handle forward – just past my zipper – before beginning the stroke.
- I am repeating this over and over (and over and over) in my home office this winter.
The routine, however, is only the start:
The eyes have to focus on the ball. I like focusing on ONE of the 328 dimples on the ProV1 golf ball I am using. Without focusing on the TARGET, the mind is left to wonder about the RESULT. And as I mentioned above, this is the sure way to MISS.**
The point of all this is not golf.
The point is that we – you and I – need to train our mind if we are going to achieve anything difficult.
And most things worth doing are difficult.
**My editor asked me the following question when editing this post: {**IN TERMS OF TRAINING THE MIND, WHAT DO YOU THINK OR TELL YOURSELF AT THIS POINT?**} This is a great question. The goal, and I should have made this a little clearer above, is to think of nothing. In other words, you want to create a routine that FREES your body to perform the task at hand, rather than thinking more.
The implications to leadership are twofold. First, we need to –at some point –stop analyzing data and act. This often means getting “outside of our head” and doing something that feels uncomfortable in the moment. Secondly, we need to allow our team the freedom to do the same, without obsessing over potential outcomes (i.e. focusing on the result or the “what ifs”).
PGA golfer, Ben Crane, talked a little about quieting his mind in an interview on Donald Miller’s podcast a few years ago. You can find the link here.
