Leadership

This is going to be a different kind of wrap-up post because 2025 has been a different kind of year. The statement, “This has been a different kind of year,” leads naturally to the first lesson: Every year is different. Every year comes with challenges. Every year comes with opportunities. Want to change your experience? Stop blaming the media and others. Start by changing the way you think.

Note that I don’t intend to lecture anyone. It’s a reminder to myself.

I was at my wits’ end at the end of September. I wanted to pull out the hair I no longer have. We went through several weeks of heartache and even tragedy with team members at Hoffer Plastics. “Life is chaotic,” my doctor reminded me. “The calm times are the exception.”

In other words, every life is filled with challenges.

⸻

On my birthday, I was reminded that in business, you can deliver 100% on time, with zero quality issues for 13 straight years, and still lose the next opportunity. It reinforced a truth I tend to forget: I am not the boss—the customer is. As I wrote in my notebook a few months earlier, “There is only one boss: the customer. And they can fire us at any time.” Thanks, Sam Walton, for the reminder.

The next lesson was to let the loss sting. I wallowed in it. I let it kick my butt. Honestly, I let it ruin my birthday night—and that was a mistake. But it eventually gave me a renewed passion for excellence, relationships, and grit.

This leads to another lesson: the loss can sting, but it cannot define you.

My most frequent reminder from my afternoon devotional this year is that I need to define my identity vertically and not horizontally. Thank you, Paul David Tripp.

⸻

Another lesson came at the end of our family vacation, when suitcases were overflowing and jamming the belt at baggage claim. The woman working there looked at me, muttered a curse under her breath, and said, “THIS ISN’T MY F’ING JOB.” I looked at her and said, “Well, it’s not mine either, but I’m going to do something about it.”

After I moved the suitcases (with a little bit of rage, I confess), I had the satisfaction of seeing the belt move again and the bags reach their owners. I’ve adopted a new mantra:

IT IS ALWAYS MY JOB.

⸻

Another lesson—one that is becoming more practical as my kids approach driving age—came from comedian George Carlin: “Everyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac.” With three sets of young eyes watching me these days, I definitely need to be in less of a hurry.

Speaking of that, the most repeated lesson of 2025 (and the seven years before it) is the need to practice a slowed-down life. From a spiritual standpoint, I remember that Jesus was a “3 MPH God,” as historians hypothesize he walked at roughly that pace. Whether or not that’s literally true is beside the point. Scripture consistently shows He was not in a hurry.

I am.

So I’m working on single-tasking, reading physical books, and driving the speed limit on Randall Road.

⸻

Other random thoughts to close the year:

LinkedIn messages have become a complete annoyance. I post this blog on LinkedIn and have considered stopping for that reason alone. I’ve also considered stopping this blog altogether. I’m continuing because I’m having fun writing in this season—but reading this blog doesn’t give someone an “in” to pitch me on how they can save us money. I’m getting really tired of that pitch in my middle age.

Like everyone else, I’m concerned about how politically divided we’ve become. But I’m even more concerned about Americans’ lack of historical understanding. Political divisiveness has been part of our country since its founding. Most contemporary Americans would be shocked by how much the Founding Fathers couldn’t stand each other at times. Reading good history books this year has helped me keep perspective.

And reading the Bible has helped me realize that I am not above the political fray, that my views are often wrong, and that following Jesus gives me the freedom to admit those errors.

⸻

Do you want to know the problem with America?

It’s me and my sinfulness.

I am selfish, prideful, self-centered, egotistical, materialistic, lustful, greedy, lacking in love—and countless other things. I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t have the answers. I most likely wouldn’t be a CEO outside of a family business.

How’s that for candor?

But I don’t blame others. I don’t blame our team when results suffer. I look in the mirror. I don’t blame the media when I hit a bad golf shot. I don’t blame the other political party when we screw something up at work.

I take ownership.

And quite frankly, it would be refreshing if more people in public life did the same.

My proudest moments are when I own up to the people I care about. On Sunday mornings, I have peace because I’ve spent the week confessing my junk to Jesus in prayer. I also have an accountability partner who hears my confessions.

And you know what? Forgiveness is real.

Back in June, at the tail end of a workout, I wrote this down:

“Freedom is not doing whatever you want. It’s having nothing to hide.”

Lord, help me live that kind of life.

I don’t know what 2026 holds. I suspect it will be chaotic, with big ups and downs. I can’t tell you anything for sure. But I can tell you that I’m placing my hope in the reality of eternity through Jesus.

And because of that, I can end this year with peace.

After sharing my failures, here’s the other side: what I look like when I’m leading well. Great leadership isn’t about grand gestures — it’s about small, repeated practices that compound over time. When I do these 30 things consistently, I’m not just a better leader — I’m a better husband, father, and human being. Here’s what leadership looks like on my best days.

1. I go to bed early enough not to be in a rush.
2. I sleep well.
3. I start the day in the Bible. 
4. I connect with Jesus and have a specific application from my Bible reading that impacts my day. 
5. I read my daily declaration, which is comprised of truths from God’s word. 
6. I read my daily promises that I created to capture the kind of man I want to be. 
7. I pray for my friends, family, and the world. 
8. I remember that work is a gift, not a curse.  
9. I see people. I do not see problems, but the people behind the problem. 
10. I love people — meaning I want what is best for them, defined by God’s word. 
11. I voice my love for Sarah, the kids, and my family. I tell my friends I love them. 
12. I shut up and listen. 
13. I ask questions. 
14. I pray before I act. 
15. I practice moments of silence and stillness so that my soul catches up to the frenzied pace of life. 
16. I walk our production floor to see people and opportunities. 
17. I voice my appreciation to people who help me. I use specifics and not generalizations. 
18. I remember those who came before me. I give thanks to God for their work and appreciate their toil. 
19. I encourage others. 
20. I give others space to shine and succeed. 
21. I help others when they are in the trenches. 
22. I wrap the day up with a devotional that gives me perspective. 
23. I write things I am grateful for in a journal, often before leaving the office, to reset my mind before continuing home. 
24. I ask questions when I get home. 
25. I am playful. 
26. I hug my wife and daughter. 
27. I force my boys to hug me like my mom forced me! 
28. I tell my kids I love them. 
29. I pray with Sarah. 
30. I always tell Sarah how grateful I am for her and how much I love her.

I’ve spent years studying leadership, but there’s a gap between what I know and what I do on a Tuesday afternoon when I’m tired and frustrated. So instead of sharing best practices, I’m sharing my most common failures — not because I’m proud of them, but because authentic leadership starts with honest self-assessment. Here are the 25 ways I most consistently fall short.

1. I cast judgment, not vision.
2. I fail to ask questions.
3. I give in to cynicism or sarcasm.
4. I make excuses.
5. I fail to share the positive I see.
6. I don’t pray about a situation.
7. I am unclear about what success looks like.
8. I rely on text or email when an in-person conversation is needed.
9. I fail to live purely.
10. I check my email while my kids are present and available.
11. I lose perspective.
12. I have a vindictive spirit.
13. I feel like a failure because one thing went wrong.
14. I feel like a failure when 100 things go wrong on the same day.
15. I don’t observe the sabbath.
16. I don’t take vacations.
17. I see problems before seeing people.
18. I am unclear on what a win is, and thus fail to celebrate wins.
19. I fail to thank customers and suppliers.
20. I put my hope in political outcomes.
21. I talk about myself instead of asking questions and being curious about others.
22. I over analyze non-essential things and under analyze major things.
23. I am hurried.
24. I fail to journal my feelings: What am I sad about? What am I mad about? What am I anxious about? What am I glad about?
25. I fail to be generous with time and money.

Coaching baseball this spring taught me two crucial lessons that apply directly to leading a business. Both are lessons that, quite frankly, I can improve upon. 

Lesson 1: Create a positive environment 

My son, Ben, has had the same coach for several seasons. Coach Mark’s teams always start a little bit slow, and just when you think they will implode, they find a way to play their best. In fact, they always peak when the lights are the brightest. The secret is hardly a secret — it is simply creating a positive environment where kids can have fun. 

In an environment where travel baseball is the norm, and parents are in denial about living their dreams through their kids (sorry to be so harsh), fun has become a competitive advantage. Coach Mark stays positive even when the second baseman makes his fortieth error of the season. And every kid on his team knows that if they put three wins together in a row, Coach Mark is paying for everyone to go to Dairy Queen. Coach Mark will even lead the charge of kids getting cars to honk in the drive-through. He just personifies fun, which is why my son loves playing for him. 

My leadership style doesn’t personify fun. I struggle to maintain positivity when I/we make the fortieth error of the season. I need to own this lesson. Thank you to Coach Mark for your reminder. 

Lesson 2: A question is better than a rebuke 

I helped coach my other son, Will’s, team this year. Learning from past seasons, I started the year off with a relentless focus on the type of positivity Coach Mark practiced. With the buy-in of Will’s head coach, I outlined to the kids what our success statements were:
 

1. We always hustle 
2. We are always prepared for every play
3. We always compete till the game is over 
4. We always conduct ourselves with good sportsmanship   

Then the coaches held the kids accountable to these standards. We explained that errors were okay on our team as long as the kid was in a “ready position” and was “hustling” on the play. In fact, “we do not expect perfection” became a mantra as the season went on. 

This led me to a leadership insight: I should ask someone a question rather than issue a rebuke. My go-to question this season became, “What will you do differently next time?” 

Answers: 

“Be ready for the ball to be hit to me.” 

“Swing the bat when I have two strikes.” 

“Pick up the third base coach when I am rounding second.” 

You get the idea. 

The kids reminded me of a lesson I learned two decades ago while studying for my master’s in Education: Learning happens when students change their behavior. To that end, I am proud of how our team improved throughout the season. Interestingly, the kid I most frequently asked, “What will you do differently next time?” played their best game in our season finale. Seeing him come through in the clutch despite our team’s defeat was cool. 

Creating a positive environment and asking good questions is not rocket science — I humbly admit that I can easily apply these things to our business. I realize that doing so will create a better environment for everyone, starting with me. 

Modern life is about comfort. 

Growth is about discomfort. 

I recently received bad news from one of our customers: they’d found a lower-cost alternative and may move their business elsewhere. As I write this, I have no idea how the situation will play out. 

What do you do in moments like these? 

Do you wallow? Do you have self-pity? Do you get mad? Do you blame? 

While I understand these mechanisms, I want to offer something different.

What if you sat in the discomfort? 

I did. 

Instead of wallowing, I spent time contemplating. 

I allowed this reality to sting. The potential of losing the business hurt, and the potential of losing relationships hurt more. 

Instead of self-pity, I asked myself hard questions: What could I have done differently? How could I have led differently? After all, any business I lost was ultimately my fault as co-CEO. 

Instead of anger, I let the burn reinvigorate my energy. Yes, it reinvigorated me! I found myself digging a little deeper than I had before this realization. Strangely, it refilled my energy tank at the end of last year. 

Instead of blaming others, I emailed our team and told them we would not blame each other for our predicament. In fact, if anyone were going to be blamed, it would be me. 

My sister Charlotte said we all shared in it. She is a co-CEO, so I expect nothing less. But the point remained that I would rather be blamed than for the team to spend one unproductive, wasteful second on blame. Besides, as I pointed out above, I AM ACCOUNTABLE. 

That is THE job. 

What happened next? 

The team came together. 

The discomfort made us grow closer to one another. 

Our product designer began working on an incredible design that fit the customer’s needs. 

Our product specialist organized clear communication with the customer that addressed their customer’s needs — the ultimate decider in the situation. 

Again, as I write these words, I don’t know how this will play out. 

But I already know that we have won. 

Why? 

Because our team used the discomfort to grow. 

I started the year off by writing about success statements from a business perspective. As a refresher, success statements help do three things:

Success statements help me get clear on what winning looks like. 

Success statements help align the leader to the follower and the follower to the leader.

Success statements help evaluate how things are going in real time. 

While all the above is a natural fit for business leadership, it also helps plan a family vacation. 

While I admit that may sound a little “out of left field,” consider this: What family vacation would not benefit from a clear understanding of what will make it a success and ensure everyone’s aligned toward that goal? 

I think all family vacations would. So I put this into practice during our family’s first European vacation with all five of us. 

How we made it happen

One night after dinner, I explained success statements to my family. I asked my three kids, “For you to consider our vacation a success, what are the one or two things you want to do in Europe?” 

I then went on Amazon and ordered notebooks for their trip. Each of them picked out the color they wanted — blue for the boys and pink for Sadie, naturally! They then took some time to consider what success would look like for them. Meanwhile, Sarah and I discussed what success would look like for the entire family. After all, we also needed success statements for our  “company”! 

Here’s what we came up with: 

Family success statement 

Our family will stay safe, have fun, and learn something new every day of our trip.

Individual success statements

Will: I will remain flexible about the lack of sleep due to the time change and embrace each day’s adventure with a positive attitude. 

Ben: I will go all-in on our day at Normandy, soaking up every second of that adventure.  

Sadie: I will get a picture of myself at the Eiffel Tower. 

Dad: I will be present by leaving work in the States, seeking adventure, and thanking God for each moment. Additionally, I set a rule for myself: I would limit checking my work email to before and after our sightseeing for the day. I would only do the necessary decluttering and save the rest for post-vacation. 

Sarah hadn’t clarified what her personal success statement was beforehand. But it was clear that she was present at every moment, tended to every need the kids had (two were sick the entire time we were there), and was all-in on our family success statement. 

Evaluating each vacation day

Not only did we all write the family success statement and personal success statement in our journals, but I also challenged everyone to keep a journal while on vacation. 

The prompts I gave the kids, and the ones that I used were the following: 

Three questions

1. How well did you meet your success statements today? In other words, was it a green, yellow, or red day? 
2. What was a highlight or win?
3. What was something new you learned, found interesting, or something fun you ate? 

We spent a few minutes answering these questions each night after we got home from dinner. This led to even more conversations about what had happened during the day. 

For example, one day, Ben called me out for processing a work issue out loud on the train. Because of this, he said my success statement for the day needed to be yellow. I told him he was probably right, so yellow it was. I ended the trip with two yellow days, and everything else was green. This would not have happened unless I had clarified what success looked like to me and everyone else.

How did everyone else do? 

Bless his heart, Will kept a great attitude despite having walking pneumonia and not sleeping well. 

Ben walked Omaha Beach in an absolute downpour. I will never forget the image of my two boys collecting sand off the beach in the rain. Combine this with watching the flag ceremony at the American Cemetery, and it is safe to say that this day is one none of us will ever forget. 

Sadie got her picture underneath the Eiffel Tower. I even went down on the ground to take it, which I am not known for doing—being that “touristy” guy. But I knew what success looked like for her, and I was all in. The cloudless Paris sky on a perfect 70-degree October day was simply a foretaste of heaven. 

Our family stayed safe, had fun, and learned something every single day.  It was a great success. Does this mean we were the perfect family? Heck no. The kids watched way too many screens in the hotel rooms. I still thought about work a lot, and I sometimes had to nudge everyone to do their journals each night. But by clarifying what success looked like in advance and getting everyone on the same page, we leaned into the moments that mattered. And that is a success in itself! 

One of my foundational beliefs as a leader is the value of the 1:1 weekly meeting. Leadership is doing things with and through other people. Therefore, we must spend time with the people we lead to cast vision, provide feedback, and hear input to achieve and maintain alignment. 

In my last post, I discussed how the power of success statements helps clarify what winning looks like and align the follower and leader in that pursuit. Today, I discuss the next step in the process: evaluation. 

Here are three benefits of using success statements in 1:1 meetings:

1. Self-accountability 
2. Uncovering obstacles 
3. Affirmation 

Self-accountability 

Success statements force us to evaluate our performance. I do this using an Excel file that lists each success statement and allows me to select a color-coded drop box to mark each statement with red, yellow, or green. Each color corresponds to how well I met each success statement. 

Red = Not true 

Yellow = Inconsistently true 

Green = True 

For example, consider the personal success statement I developed for our family’s European vacation last October: I will be present by leaving work in the States, seeking adventure, and thanking God for each moment. 

I used this statement to evaluate each day, giving it a green, yellow, or red rating. While most days were green, there were two days that I rated yellow — and the exercise helped me get back on track the following day. 

On the work front, I’ve found that success statements help the people I lead see their strengths and weaknesses. As I often remind them, a red rating doesn’t equate to failure, but it is a wake-up call that requires us to take action to correct the course. Weekly 1:1 meetings are helpful because they are — you guessed it — weekly. They allow us time to evaluate and make changes, unlike yearly performance meetings, which, in my opinion, are an abdication of leadership. 

Uncovering obstacles 

Success statements also help uncover obstacles to success. For example, one of my team members leads our customer service team. She identified two team members she wanted to invest more time in, building them up and helping enhance their performance. For two months last summer, however, she consistently ranked those success statements as yellow. 

By rating them yellow, I knew to ask the obvious follow-up question: “What is getting in the way?” And we got to the bottom of the issue; she was filling in for one person’s vacation, doing quarterly pricing updates, and handling several other essential tasks. We discussed how she could prioritize and identified smaller tasks she could delegate. We also jointly recognized that this situation was temporary and largely related to the seasonality of jobs and summer vacations!

This may seem like a small example, and it is—but there’s a crucial reason I brought it up. As a leader, I have discovered that small things can frustrate those I lead. For instance, if I were to push harder on this team member—someone who works extremely hard during a season when they have more on their plate due to vacations—they likely wouldn’t receive it well. It could cause them to become dissatisfied, frustrated, or potentially consider leaving the organization. 

Success statements allowed us to have a productive conservation about her workload. They let us get aligned to where she was during that particular season and allowed me to clarify what was important given the limits of her time.

Affirmation 

This leads us to the final element of this blog post: affirmation. Expanding on the example above, seeing those green success statements let me affirm where our team leader was achieving success. I could articulate what I appreciated and share the good things I saw. This helped encourage the team member at a busy time of year when she likely needed a boost.

I’ve discovered the same to be true with our VP of Operations and Director of Engineering, two people who have been in their roles for a little longer. While each tends to give one the impression that they are “tough” and don’t need affirmation, they’re still human beings — and success statements give me a good reason to praise their hard work. Unsurprisingly, after these conversations, there’s an observable shift in their body language. They suddenly sit a little bit taller. 

Giving affirmation does not come naturally to me, which is one of the reasons I love success statements so much: They provide me with specific actions to affirm! For example, I returned to our customer service leader the following month and let her know that I could see the work she was doing building into her team and had heard positive feedback from the sales team about their performance. Giving this specific level of feedback was extremely valuable to us both. 

Needless to say, I’ve found success statements to be extremely valuable. Now it’s your turn; I challenge you to spend some time today creating success statements for your role and co-creating them with those you lead. You won’t regret it!

In 2023, I began working with a new executive coach at Path for Growth, and the most powerful tool my coach Kyle has taught me about is the success statement. Success statements are clear, measurable descriptions of what it looks like to achieve a goal. They are written in plain language and so clear that even a fifth grader would understand what counts as a win. 

3 Reasons Success Statements Have Been Powerful

Success statements help me get clear on what winning looks like. 

Writing success statements, whether for myself or my team members, helps clarify exactly what we need to achieve to be successful. For example, in writing success statements for our VP of Operations, there were two important quality metrics I wanted us to focus on: external quality (or external ppm) and internal quality (internal ppm). While our external quality meets standards, our internal defect rate was too high – suggesting we rely too heavily on inspection to catch problems. My goal is to shift our mindset from catching defects to preventing them entirely, embracing a “zero-defect” standard.

Instead of writing one general success statement about quality, I wrote two different ones. For our operations to succeed, our internal and external quality must be world-class. That is the expectation, and it was clear to our VP of Operations and me. 

Success statements help align the leader to the follower and the follower to the leader. 

Continuing with our example from above, I presented the success statements to our VP of Operations. This was not a mandate but a discussion—he could push back or suggest an alternative measurement. That doesn’t mean I’ll never mandate a success statement—some things like “zero recordable accidents” are non-negotiable—but I like to be open to making changes to these success statements to help gain buy-in. The goal of success statements is for everyone to be on the same page when it comes to defining success — and that’s why I am open to some debate about what winning looks like. 

Success statements also have to be achievable. “Zero recordable accidents,” for example, is an achievable metric, but “never having one single plastic part on the floor” isn’t achievable today — though it is my vision for tomorrow! But things like measuring internal ppm and driving a zero-defect mindset will help us on the journey to that vision. And I am happy to report that our VP of Ops and I are aligned on our goal. How do I know? Because we did this exercise together! 

Success statements help evaluate how things are going in real time. 

Since this topic deserves a deeper exploration, I’ll dedicate my next blog post to it entirely. Stay tuned! In the meantime, I want to challenge you with these questions:

What does success look like for your role? 

Do you have clarity, and are you aligned with your leader? 

Conversely, are you clear and aligned with those you lead? 

I spent the last few days at the Path for Growth Leadership Experience. The content was amazing, and the people attending were even better. My hope for every person reading this blog is that they find a conference or group where they can be encouraged and replenished as I was at this event. 

I was there to learn about leadership and gain insights about our business. 

My goodness, did I ever! In fact, there are too many lessons to list. I am sure I will sprinkle them into this blog in the coming months. 

The conference reinforced several vital ideas that are worth revisiting. In fact, I’m intentionally emphasizing three points I discussed in my previous post. This repetition serves two purposes: firstly, these concepts are crucial and deserve additional attention; secondly, one of the leadership lessons I learned at the conference was the importance of consistent reinforcement. Leaders must continually remind their teams of essential principles. So, consider this your reminder of these vital concepts:

Put God first

First, I need to put God first in my life. Let me cut to the chase: I have struggled with inner peace this summer. Nothing profoundly bad has happened, but there have been a bunch of little things that have been frustrating. Isn’t this how life works? 

The problem is that I’ve been centering my prayers on external circumstances — like some hip pain I have experienced playing golf or other physical symptoms. There is nothing wrong with praying about minor health ailments. In fact, if you are going through one right now, there is no better place to turn. 

But God is not a genie in the bottle. 

I have discovered that peace is found only after turning to the off-ramp of your circumstances and onto the country road of God’s sovereignty. It is born from the prayer “Let your will be done,” which isn’t to say that you should not ask for the things that are on your mind, but that you should ask from a place of trust that whatever happens is God’s will and therefore better. 

I need to seek him first, my needs second. 

I confess that I have lacked peace this summer because I drifted. If you have similarly drifted, maybe this is your reminder to seek God first. 

Home life with Sarah

I spent a lot of time this week reflecting on my home life with Sarah. As I said in my last post, I want to be a better husband. But what does “better” even mean? I am considering writing success statements for my marriage, starting with I want to adore my wife and make her feel adored. 

She would have to chime in and evaluate how I have done this year. What I can say is that I know there have been times when I allowed stress to eat at my joy. Often, she and the kids have gotten the leftovers of me, not my best. This is not how I define success.

This was another area of drift for me. With the peace of God, I am rejuvenated to be the best version of myself for Sarah.

My opportunity to make a lasting impact on the world

Third, the conference reminded me that my relationship with my kids is my best opportunity to make a lasting impact on the world. The people they become, the relationship we mutually create, and how they glorify God in their lives — this is primary. 

I need to enhance my attention, focus, and energy here. The years are flying by — as I knew they would — so I need to be intentional about how I am investing my time with them. Furthermore, I need to come home knowing that my purpose is only beginning that particular day. Therefore, I need to be at my best for the three kids God has blessed me with. 

This was another area of drifting for me. Again, with renewed focus on what matters most: God and Sarah, I can be recharged to be the best version of myself for my three kids. 

A time to reprioritize

I went to a leadership conference — and quite frankly it was a reprioritization conference for me. 

I love the work we do at Hoffer Plastics. I hope I convey that in these posts. 

But life is an all-inclusive adventure, which means that leadership is too, because leadership is about humans doing things with humans. 

Therefore, I implore you, and myself, to get these things right. 

As Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Seeking this first has been the only way I have found the fullness of life. 

With two boys playing on four baseball teams this spring, I decided to take the year off from coaching. I thought it would give me the opportunity to drive the boys to their practices and games and help Sarah manage the chaotic schedule. While I suspected I would miss certain aspects of coaching, I also thought that I would not miss the chaos of leaving work early to get to games and practices. 

Early in the season, I discovered that I was not going to simply spectate. Given my interest in leadership, I soon realized that I had a literal front-row seat to how four different volunteer coaches went about coaching their players. 

Here is what I learned:  

Positive affirmation enhances confidence and performance 

Both boys had coaches who are more positive than just about any coach I know. Will’s in-house coach has positive nicknames for his kids. For example, Will’s nickname is “stud.” “Hey stud,” he will cheer, “you got this.” Then I see my son’s shoulders lift a little higher, and unsurprisingly, so does his play. 

Meanwhile, one of Ben’s coaches similarly talks about the kids using the positive tense. “You are going to get a hit here,” he says with a huge smile. One kid, for example, looked so lost during the first part of the season that I did not think he had a chance. And then you know what happened? One Monday night in early May, he got an RBI base hit! We all clapped and cheered, but no one cheered louder than the coach. 

This has challenged me to use positive affirmations much more than I currently do. I want to be like both of these leaders. I keep asking myself, what positives do I see when I walk around our facility? And more importantly, am I sharing those with the people making those positive things happen? 

Are you doing the same where you work?  

The leader sets the tone of the team. 

One of the boys’ all-star teams struggled this year. The coaches on that team, all volunteers, were trying their best. They were very competitive, just like I am at the workplace. As the season progressed, the team become tight, afraid to make mistakes, and their play suffered. Their pitchers were “aiming” the ball instead of throwing it, and the batters were gripping the bat a little tighter with two strikes. It was a rough patch that all baseball teams go through. 

In the midst of it, things took another turn on a Friday morning via the team’s chat message board. One of the assistants posted that he wanted to teach the boys how to throw curve balls at that evening’s practice. He meant well, and I honestly believe he just wanted to teach them a new skill that could help them. But chaos ensued. Every parent voiced their discomfort teaching twelve-year-olds how to throw curve balls. While I agreed that this was a bad idea, I did not want to pile on. 

Then the head coach spoke up: 

“On this team, we will not throw curve balls.”

He then did something brilliant by sharing a Word document with the exact practice plans for the night.

I discovered that despite a leader’s best efforts, there will be times when they are not aligned with their team. When that happens, it is important to set the tone and be transparent. Our coach’s leadership reminded me that I need to make sure I give crystal clear direction to our team and be as transparent as possible. 

What message do you need to share with your team? 

Celebrate the wins

Finally, one of Ben’s coaches made a rule during April that he would take the kids to Dairy Queen after every third win. In all my years of coaching Little League, I have never seen more focus or hunger (literally and figuratively) than this team when they were on the verge of getting that third win. 

As of this writing, they are 10-3 on the season. In fact, the other night was another Dairy Queen Monday night. While I took two of my three kids home after the game (we did Dairy Queen pre-game to accommodate my daughter’s bedtime!), Sarah went with Ben to DQ. When she came home, she told me what had happened: 

“Mark (the Head Coach) was like one of the kids. As the kids convinced their parents to honk their car horns as they passed, Mark just laughed and laughed.” 

I have so much to learn from Mark. As a Type-A leader I should probably start by taking our team to DQ and having fun. 

I also have to celebrate the wins when they come because leadership is hard. 

And you know what?  

So should you. 

Coming home 

I will end this post unconventionally. As a dad in the thick of little league busyness, I often hear older parents advise that I will miss all this. At the risk of sounding awful, I do not think I will miss about 49% of it. I won’t miss parents arguing with umpires, I won’t miss always feeling like I am in a hurry to leave Hoffer Plastics and make the game on time — leaving me with a guilty feeling on both ends — and I certainly won’t miss the little league coaches that take it all way too seriously. 

But there is 51% that I am going to miss. I am going to miss my son Ben fist pumping, as he did 45 minutes ago when I told him Will’s team needed him to play up tonight; I am going to miss coaches like the ones I mentioned above. And more than anything else, I am going to miss having a game of catch with my boys on an early summer night—so much so that I had to pause my writing before continuing writing this post…

I actually had one of those moments last night. Will was pitching on the mound, Ben and I played catch on the side while watching his game, and Sarah and Sadie were in the stands. 

My little league dreams might not have come true, but my Field of Dreams did. And thanks be to God and his goodness, I hit the home run I dreamt of as a little boy.

“Dad, can we have a catch?”

“I would like that Ben.”