Leadership

You’re on part three of the Health of a Leader blog post series. Check out parts 1 and 2

I began this series by discussing the need to be clear on your mission. With a clear mission, you can catch a vision — something you must do before you can cast it.

In post two, I pivoted to mental resistance — the negative thinking or self-doubt that happens anytime we start a new endeavor. For a leader to be healthy, they have to acknowledge this resistance and battle against it. We cannot do things with and through others if we do not lead ourselves well first. We also cannot lead others if we are unwilling to fight through the resistance and move forward. This is why having a daily declaration is so powerful. 

In today’s post, I’m sharing one last practice that has helped me reduce anxiety and increase focus. I know that’s a bold claim, but I am confident that if you practice what I am about to share, you’ll see the same benefits. 

First, let’s level set. 

Here’s what I know about the people that read this blog. You are people who are extremely active, professionally and personally. You’re go-getters. And you’re the kind of people I respect because you bring your best in whatever you do. 

What’s my point? 

My point is that you have a lot on your to-do list — and I don’t have to see your list to know that. I know that, like me, you get to juggle hundreds of emails every day, countless invitations to jump on a “quick call,” and kids who are in 93 after-school activities.

Simply stated, you cannot do everything. Most of you already know that, yet I don’t think you can be healthy unless you own that. 

I confess that I struggle with owning that! This is why I returned to something I learned some time ago and created a new practice called “Three promises.” 

Three Promises 

The three promises are promises that I make to myself at the start of every single day. I read these promises out loud to myself immediately after reading my daily declaration.

I see my daily declaration as a pep talk from my brain’s “head coach” that helps reorient my psyche. It shares truth and puts the lies in my head in their place.

The three promises move me from the pep talk to the game plan. It reminds me that no matter what I have to accomplish today, I’ll keep these three things at the forefront of my mind and actions. More than intentions, these are promises that I’m making to myself. Period, bottom line, take it to the bank. This is my “line in the sand” moment. 

Here’s the gist of my three promises:

1. I promise to focus only on today. 
2. I promise to focus on spreading the Gospel (the Great Commission). 
3. I promise to give my best effort in everything I do. This is all I can do. I trust God for outcomes. Let His will be done, not mine. 

And here’s why I chose those particular promises:

I constantly struggle with looking both forward and backward. In fact, I would wager that no one up in the middle of the night is thinking about the present; instead, they’re thinking about something in their past or future. My line in the sand moment came when I realized I had no control over either, so I promised to focus on today. 

The second promise is the most powerful because it puts into perspective every issue I read, talk, and worry about. It helps me remember that the best thing I can do is share the love I have experienced through Jesus. Loved people should love people. I have work to do on this end, so this promise reorients me to what matters most. Obviously, you have to find what does that for you. 

Finally, the third promise came after yet another golf failure. I realized that measuring my score wasn’t the best indicator of my performance — it was just one indicator. Is it the indicator I care about most? Yes. But the effort I gave it is the best indicator because it encompasses everything (body, mind, game plan, etc.). I learned that I could accept a bad score if my effort was solid — and the same goes for results at work. 

Am I bringing my best? That is the question. 

A Final Promise

In this series, I’ve shared a few of my leadership processes to inspire you to create your own. We do not drift into improvement; we must be clear on our mission, understand where we’re going, prepare for resistance, and develop a framework that will help us stay focused on what matters.

My last promise is for you. I promise that if you put these things into practice, you will find renewed focus and energy to do what you value most. 

You’re on part two of the Health of a Leader blog post series. Check out part 1 here.

In my last post, I shared how clarifying my personal mission and vision helps me focus on what matters and prepares me for the inevitable storms that come in life. It creates a clear picture of where I want to go and what I must do to get there. With this knowledge, I can begin moving from the starting line toward my intended destination. 

But starting always brings with it some kind of resistance. And external resistance can be challenging, but I think mental resistance is even more difficult because it happens in your own head. 

Mental resistance often starts with a little voice in your head. It can be the little whisper of doubt you hear when you get rejected on a sales call. But as you get more rejections, this small voice inside your head can become a roar, saying you are not good enough and will never measure up. 

Unchecked, that negative chatter can permeate all aspects of your life. 

If that sounds too dramatic, maybe I am alone on my own island. After all — and this is tough to admit — earlier this year, I told my doctor that “I feel like a failure right now in just about everything.” 

Okay, that may have been a bit dramatic, but it was how I felt at that moment. The mental resistance I faced had infiltrated how I viewed my life as a whole. Thankfully, that moment led to a better thought on the way home — specifically, that I needed to get right mentally because I was not seeing things accurately. I then remembered an excellent book I read two years ago about winning the war in your mind. 

Daily Declaration 

What I am about to share is something I learned from studying Craig Groeschel. Not only do I recommend that you listen to his leadership podcast, but I also recommend every book he has written. I learned so much from his book, Winning the War of Your Mind, that I cannot recommend it enough. 

In the book, Craig shared a “daily declaration.” The first time I read it, I thought about how powerful Craig’s declaration was. I then referred back to it a few times over the next few months but eventually forgot about it as the months passed. 

My Daily Declaration

Fast forward to that doctor’s appointment: When I was leaving, I remembered Craig’s daily declaration. I knew I needed perspective, so I decided to get his book out and take another look at it. 

I realized that I needed to do a better job of leading myself, particularly in mental health. So I decided to create my own daily declaration, then set a reminder on my phone to read it aloud every morning before work. After 30 days, I planned to ask myself if it made any difference. 

I borrowed some lines from Craig’s daily declaration to create my declaration, then added a few of my own. I ended up with something like this:

Jesus is first in my life. I exist to serve and glorify Him. 

I love my wife and will lay down my life to serve her. 

I love people, and I believe the best about other people. 

I am creative, innovative, driven, focused, and blessed beyond measure because the Spirit of God dwells within me. 

With the power of the Holy Spirit, I can stay calm and collected in the midst of the furnace. For God is with me! 

Of course, your daily declaration would look different than mine, and it might not be so closely tied to spiritual truths. The point, however, is to create a declaration that gives you renewed perspective — a perspective that will give you the fight to take on any internal resistance you feel. Remember: we’ll face resistance in anything worth doing. We must lead ourselves first to counter that resistance. 

My Prayer for You

As we come to a close, I pray that you find inner peace. Life is hard. I write these words a few days after two teenagers were killed in a car accident about a mile from Hoffer Plastics. I can’t stop thinking about their family and the horrific loss they are experiencing. Everybody has to grieve and go through the cycle of grief on their own. In fact, I think the most applicable Bible verse in situations like these is simply: 

“Jesus wept.” 

You might wonder what this tragedy has to do with having a daily declaration? I can only share, again, part of my own declaration, and I share it because it has helped me keep perspective as I weep with those who are weeping.  

Pain is my friend. I rejoice in suffering because Jesus suffered for me. 

Jesus frees me from fearing death. He is there waiting. Eternity awaits. 

Therefore, I can smile through any difficult situation or season. 

I would never preach that to someone else. I’ll reiterate that everyone has to go through the grief process in their own way. 

But I preach this to myself. I declare it to myself. It’s my daily declaration. 

I pray that the resistance you face is the kind that I typically face. And as I mourn with our community, I invite you to create a daily declaration that will allow you to speak truth to the lies in your head and weather life’s inevitable storms.

You’ve probably heard the old saying, “As goes the health of the leader, so goes the health of the organization.” And with the economic twists and turns this year, this topic has been on my mind. 

Over these next three posts, I’ll share three things I’m doing that have helped rejuvenate my mental health as a leader. These things have been extremely helpful for me, and I pray they will help you, too. 

Defining Your Mission and Vision

As a leader, I’ve found that one of the most important things I can do for my mental health is to define my mission and vision. This seems like a natural starting point to me because if you do not know where you are going — and why you are going there — you cannot be healthy as a leader or a person. That is a bold statement, so let’s unpack it. 

I would imagine that most people reading this blog have heard someone share the need to develop a personal mission and vision — I know I have, literally hundreds of times over the years! But I failed to realize just how much clarity is needed for this exercise. Humans can bear just about any “what” if the “why” is compelling enough. Said differently, if you know where you are going and why you are going there, then you can persevere when tough times come. 

And let’s be crystal clear before going further: TOUGH TIMES 

ALWAYS COME FOR EVERYONE. 

The other insight I have had on this topic is that I need to reverse the order; in other words, put the mission before the vision. I always thought vision came first, but I have discovered that is not true. 

Here’s why.

Personal Mission

Our corporate mission at Hoffer Plastics is to go ALL-IN on people, plastics, and purpose. This statement solidifies what we do and how we do it every single day. 

My personal mission is similar to our corporate mission, but this is not a necessity. What is a necessity is understanding who you are as a person, what matters, and what sorts of things you are willing to pursue sacrificially. To that end, my mission is to go ALL-In on: 

• Loving God and loving people 
• Loving my wife and kids 
• Stewarding the resources God has entrusted me with
• Extravagantly blessing others
• Growing life-long relationships 
• Promoting the dignity of work 
• Sharing the love of Jesus with ALL 
• Creating amazing experiences for family and friends 

Initially, I focused my personal mission statement on my work. Then, I realized my mission encompassed ALL aspects of my life. 

Now, I realize that my mission probably doesn’t jibe with what you want for your life — and that’s kind of the point. It is MY mission. 

Your mission needs to be something that inspires you, so start creating one today. 

Personal Vision

As I mentioned, I used to think that leaders could look out over the horizon and know precisely where they must go. They had “vision.” 

While I still think this is partly true, I have come to realize that the ability to do so comes from living within a mission. A vision comes into focus as leaders work day-by-day to pursue their mission. As I have heard from others, visions must be caught before they are cast. 

I think that’s important, so I will repeat it: before we can cast a vision, we have to catch it. 

Given my mission above, what vision am I catching? 

My vision is to live a healthy life — hopefully into my hundreds — loving Jesus, Sarah, my kids, their spouses, their kids, and their kids’ kids. My life will be about doing meaningful work that: 

• Builds the Church 
• Builds the family 
• Builds other people 

But this is a leadership blog, right? I can practically hear some of you asking, “But what about Hoffer Plastics? What about your work? Why the church?” 

Let me be clear: 

1. I am 1000% in on Hoffer Plastics. In fact, it is the primary space where I do “meaningful work.” In fact, the work enables me to do all three of the things I identified above. It is truly meaningful work to the third power. 
2. The Church? This is macro for me. I want to devote the best of my time and resources to helping it thrive and giving people hope worldwide. This probably does not make sense to some readers, which is okay. I have been blessed to see how the Church (macro) has come along aside me when I was a twenty-something lost in his way. I have seen how it has lifted up people of different races when no one else included them in their group. And I have seen radical love and acceptance modeled time and time again. Therefore, I am all-in here. 

Before moving forward, I also understand that other people have had very different experiences in their churches. I am sorry. I am not being trite here. That is not how it is supposed to be. This reality that things are not always how they should be is something that motivates, instructs, and inspires my vision for building the Church. 

I know this may sound weird, but I tried running away from working at Hoffer Plastics. Yet, here I am. I feel a calling — a tug on my heart — to use the blessings I’ve been given (and let’s be clear here, they have been plentiful!) to bless other people. Furthermore, I have seen the power of how manufacturing builds more than parts — it builds people. And this is the kind of work I want my life to be about. 

It’s Not About You

Leaders, your leadership is not about you, your pursuits, or your wants and desires. 

Your leadership is about using the gifts God has given you to help others in every way possible. That is what doing things with and through other people means. 

Doing this is what matters. 

So, get crystal clear on your mission and vision. This will help you weather life’s inevitable storms.

I like to say that I have been tired since my first son, Will, was born in 2011. With three kids, there is a secret formula to sustainability…coffee. 

Okay, it is not so secret. 

Coffee is the starting point of every day. I can’t even hit the gym at 6 a.m. without brewing a little coffee to get the day going. 

I have been an avid customer of Starbucks because of this. I have liked the consistently good coffee I have gotten from there since I started the addiction (what else do you call it?) in the early 2000s. 

Until recently, that is. 

Providing Value

Value is what customers are willing to pay for. As I just admitted above, I have always been willing to pay a little extra for my perception of better coffee (and by that, I mean better quick-serve coffee — I feel like that distinction is necessary for die-hard coffee drinkers!). 

While the product (coffee) has not changed much, other factors have led me to doubt my loyalty to Starbucks: 

First, I have had CONSTANT leakers. Since the start of 2023, I have had so many coffee stains on my pants that I have bought a Tide-to-Go pen for my office. I have also grown tired of wiping coffee stains out of my car. As a manufacturer (who could mold plastic lids, no less), this is infuriating. I do not pay to get hot coffee dumped on me repeatedly. Obviously, there is an issue with the lid and cup fit. 

Second, the location I frequent is not convenient. There is only one way in and one way out. I have dodged several rear-end attempts by other drivers (who are probably too focused on their leaking coffee cups!) 

Third, there is an alternative option (Dunkin Donuts) that is more conveniently located to the office. So, I gave it a try in early June. While I do not think the coffee is as good, I have gone 10+ times and have yet to have a single drop of coffee drip on my pants. I have moved from the “loyal” Starbucks camp to the “free agency” camp — I now frequent both.

Guarding Against Slippage

The point of this post is simple to grasp but hard to live out. The businesses we lead differentiate themselves on various small, subtle value differences. Just as I did not fully realize how much I valued (and was willing to pay for) a coffee cup that does not leak, I suspect some of our customers probably do not even realize what they value from us. 

Our job as leaders is to find out what those things are and ensure no “leakage” on any aspect of our value. Unfortunately, there will always be some. I am sure if I go to Dunkin long enough, they will mess up an order, or I will have a leaking lid. The point is that leaders need to look for and guard against this slippage. When it comes, we have to address it immediately and fix the problem. 

Then, we will hold on to the value and keep the customer. 

P.S.: I now split my time more evenly. Starbucks won me back in the summer with some really good Nitro Cold Brew. Can you say, addict?!?

Earlier this year, I saw an editorial in the Wall Street Journal about how the American worker continues to be ignored by upper management and owners. Ironically, I read this article on a Saturday morning after an awful night’s sleep; I had been up since 3 a.m. thinking about the announcement we’d made that we were pausing wage increases due to slowing business conditions. 

“Slowing business conditions” is the exact kind of phrase this editorial would probably take issue with. But how else should a leader describe things when that is occurring?

**Allow me to be clear on one thing at the start of this post: I was up at 3 a.m. because while “slowing business conditions” was our reality, it was MY job to co-lead the business in and during, those conditions. NO EXCUSES. I was not blaming Obama, Trump, Biden, or anyone else — and I’ll never understand why business leaders blame the President for their crappy performance? I was up at 3 a.m. because I care about the people on our team. I think about their financial needs and the reality of inflation, and I want to be all-in on helping them win. After all, our mission is to be all-in for people first.** 

Leaders Bring People Together

Fast forward to today. This morning, I made the mistake of turning on YouTube TV while finishing my cereal. I listened to some “posers” talk about how business owners do not care about the American worker. I call the people spouting these ideas “posers” because they are “posing” as leaders. They might have positional authority (or what leadership coach John Maxwell describes as Level 1 Leadership – the lowest kind), but outside of their authority, no one would follow them to Dairy Queen for free ice cream. 

Here’s what I think: Anyone who sows discontent between one group and another is not someone worth following. And at the risk of alienating my readers, there is far too much of this kind of behavior being displayed on television by political leaders on both sides of the aisle. “Us vs. Them” sayings do nothing but add to the vitriol most people feel these days. Leaders are worth following because of how they bring diverse groups of people together. 

The next thing I did was turn off the TV, pour some coffee, and head to work. I listened to worship music on my ten-minute commute to recenter my mind. I was reminded that these people “posing” as leaders are treasured children of the most High God. Feel free to disagree, but I re-centered my thinking on their value in Jesus. He died for them and for me. So, as much as I disagreed with their viewpoints, as much as I would like to take them through our facility to show them the specific actions we are taking to help people (even, and especially in, seasons when business conditions are slow), I must remember their worth. The next time they say that plastic is evil and all business owners are in it for themselves, I have to go back to this position of remembering their worth and praying for their best. 

Making the Connection

After getting to work, I did what I try to do at least once a week by walking our night shift before that team left. It was 7 a.m., and I connected with one lady who was celebrating 26 years with the company. Then, I connected with a foreman who was celebrating 43 years. 

Finally, I talked with another team member who always gives it to me straight: “Alex, when are wage increases coming?” After explaining to her where we currently are and sharing some exciting new business that is almost here, she put her hand on my shoulder. She looked at me and thanked me for the explanation. 

I’ll be honest, I almost broke down.  

I am all-in to helping these people. 

I am all-in on helping our customers. 

That’s my why.

That’s my purpose. 

I usually don’t get this blunt, but let me be clear. 

To quote the philosopher Mr. T.: 

I pity the fool who says I don’t care about the American worker. 

Those are fighting words to me. 

Following His Calling

I originally ended the post with the previous line. But now, a week later, I will finish it with this: Despite our revenue and run hours being down, my sisters and I are issuing a cost-of-living increase for every person in the company except ourselves. I am not sharing this to get a bunch of accolades. I am sharing this to point to the true Giver, and publicly say that I trust in His provision. So do my sisters! 

All praise and glory to Him. We unashamedly believe God will provide, so we will be obedient to what we sense He is calling us to do. 

Earlier this year, Craig Groeschel released a powerful podcast, “The Most Important Mindset You Need to Succeed.” In it, he talks about generational businesses and the differences from one generation to the next. Most companies don’t make it to the third generation — a reality I’ve often heard as a third-generation leader — so I was all ears to learn from Craig on this topic. 

While I am not going to cover the entire podcast here (do yourself a favor and listen to it yourself), I will share that Craig’s “The Gen 1 Mindset” really resonated with me. Craig asserts that Generation 1 has an ownership mindset because they typically are the owners. This means they: 

• Think higher
• See broader 
• Care deeper

Put plainly, Craig says that “owners obsess over what is the best for the organization.” 

And that made me think.

Question for Thought

Do YOU obsess over what is best for the organization? 

Yep, I’m asking you, the reader of this post. 

Do you just have a job, or do you have a calling? 

Are you the kind of leader that looks within and examines their leadership failures? 

My Challenge to You

I am posing these questions as a wrap-up for topics I’ve discussed in Q2. I believe you need to have an ownership mentality — an obsession over what is best for the organization and its people — to be someone worth following. 

I challenge you to take time this week to reflect. 

What needs to become true for you to take an ownership stake so that you can think higher, see broader, and care deeper?

I recently read a biography of baseball manager Joe Maddon called “The Book of Joe.” The book is filled with actionable leadership advice on topics ranging from how the baseball manager creates the team culture to how to put players in positions to be their best. If you think about it, a baseball manager does things with and through other people 100% of the time. After all, the manager is not the one batting at the plate with the game on the line — the players are. 

Of the many things Joe Maddon is known for, his catchphrases stand out. When he was managing the Cubs, “Try not to suck” became a t-shirt seen all over Chicagoland. Others that stand out are “Don’t ever permit the pressure to exceed the pleasure,” “Don’t interfere with greatness,” and “The process is fearless.” I’ll focus on the latter in today’s post. 

The Mid-Year Unhinging

I am posting this blog toward the midpoint of the year on purpose. Is it me, or does this time of the year always feel like when things become a little unhinged? The winter months tend to make us slow down, whereas the onset of better weather usually brings more to do. Whether that’s kids’ activities, the business conference “season,” or a variety of other factors, it is easy to start feeling overwhelmed and tired by June. It is easy to ask ourselves, “What were my intentions going into this year anyway?” 

If we are not careful, it is easy to start thinking about all the demands of the future.

• Will the economy ever rebound? 
• How will our business grow with these conditions? 
• How can I keep going amid all the to dos that don’t stop even on the weekend? 

Or, we may be tempted to think of the past.

• As hard as the supply chain crisis was, our business was thriving in 2021. 
• The early days of our product line brought so much opportunity and excitement! 
• I don’t miss the winter weather, but I actually had weekends in January. 

Stay in the Moment

The process is fearless was Joe Maddon’s way of reminding his team to first stay in the moment. Second, it is a reminder to focus on the process, not the results. Finally, it brings the brain and emotions back into alignment. 

After all, the ego enjoys the past, and thoughts of the future feed anxiety. Staying in the moment calms the ego and uproots anxiety. 

A fun thing I am doing on the side this spring is helping assistant coach my son’s baseball team. One of our goals as coaches is to try to help our kids stay in the moment. Our head coach, who hasn’t yet read Maddon’s book, still began our spring with a similar saying for our kids to internalize: “Win the next pitch.” 

I will close this post with this idea because it is the exact sentiment that Joe Maddon was trying to convey: “The process is fearless.” Whether you are an 11-year-old who just struck out or a professional that just hit a ball 500 feet, “Win the next pitch” is a mindset that keeps one focused on the present.

Thank you for taking a few moments to read this post. I encourage you to take a deep breath and focus on the process of your work. Win the next “pitch. Repeat the deep breath, and go again. 

Cheesy? 

Perhaps. 

But staying in the moment was how the Chicago Cubs ended 100-plus years of futility. Maybe Joe Maddon was on to something after all? 

There is a mall that I go to often. My daughter does not even know what a mall is, so I should explain for any of my younger readers that it is a place people used to go to to buy things. The mall I unintentionally go to is unique, and it is called the Identity Mall.

The Identity Mall is open 24/7, and shopping there is especially inviting when you are feeling low. It is a place where everything is on sale, yet everything ends up costing more than the price you pay. Still, its shops are so enticing that I am often tempted to shop.

The Success Shop

There is the success shop. It promises that success will help me feel secure and satisfied. It is a place where all my dreams will come true! If I am honest, I have often been tempted to blow all my savings here. “If only,” I think.

The Approval Shop

Sometimes, however, I shop at the approval shop. It can be awkward with its floor-to-ceiling mirrors. However, I can get past this as people are inside the store cheering me on no matter what I do. They don’t even care if what I am doing is healthy. And their cheering certainly feels good to me. But the only way to keep it going is to keep shopping there.

The Pleasure Shop

This gets tiring after a while, so I head to the pleasure shop. The seats inside this shop are the most comfortable seats I have ever sat in! To top it off, the people inside the store serve the best wine, and give me a catalog outlining potential golf trips I could take, or new cars I could buy. The possibilities for pleasure are immense. But I often start feeling guilty about all of it, so I move on to the next shop. 

The Family Shop

Around the food court and playground is the biggest shop yet, the family shop. Finally, one that feels just about right. To my surprise, my three kids are already inside this shop. There is nothing to buy here, however, only the kids. The kids become the product, as it is up to them to make my identity feel good. My goodness, one of them is running to the success store to buy something. The other just sprinted to the approval store. I am getting out of here before the third runs somewhere else.

But where do I go now? 

The Past and the Future

At the end of the hall, there is even a bigger store simply called “the past.” It looks like an old movie theater. Actually, it has all the good smells from 1980-something — buttered popcorn, candy, and sugary soda or pop (not deciding that argument here). And the previews show the highlight reel from my golf “career.” It is kind of awkward that it is showing that. It must say something about me?

Next door is the same setup, but it’s called “the future.” No one is going inside this theater, however. People are just pacing and talking to themselves. The future seems to make everyone nervous. I think I have had enough of this place.

This place always costs more than it is worth. 

Where Are You Shopping? 

Welcome back to reality. The Identity Mall may not be a real place, but it is certainly a place I have been before. Of course, it always happens subconsciously. I share the above to simply ask this question: 

Where are you shopping for your identity? 

Spend time reflecting on this question this week. 

While I cannot answer for you, I find the most peace when I return to my faith in Jesus. You can judge for yourself, but for me, it takes looking to him and understanding the price for which I was bought, to free me to be free.

I often bear my soul on this blog, and today will be one of those occasions. 

I was walking our production floor the other day, and it got me thinking about how a leader needs to listen to feedback in real time. They have to do more than just hear this feedback. They need to be able to relate to the person giving feedback and willing to occasionally change when change is needed. 

As I’ve thought more about this, I started to think about this in terms of leaders developing a layer of their personality that allows them to listen to, relate to, and accept the feedback of others. I’m calling this the “leader layer,” and I found myself relying on that leader layer several times last week; here are two examples.

Feedback and the Leader Layer

The first example is a positive one. I went out for my production floor walk at 7 AM on Tuesday and was forewarned that one of our long-time team members was going to seek me out to share their thoughts on a policy they’d been gently reprimanded about the previous week. When I arrived at their work area, I sought them out instead. I asked them how they were doing, which allowed them to tell me why they were not doing well. I listened. I sought to understand their point of view and even agreed with some of their frustration over how the message had been delivered. Still, the policy needed to be followed. Now that they felt heard, they were on board. 

This was an easy win. But what happens when the feedback is a little more personal to me?  

Example two: Also last week, I was working on a company update. I shared it with my sisters, and their feedback was it was too long. This wasn’t hard to accept — I realize brevity is not one of my strengths! 

At the same time, I’d shared a blog post with friends whose opinions I deeply value. Two are book authors, so I was anxious to get their views. And guess what — they thought the blog post was too long! For the second time in twenty-four hours, I received the same feedback in terms of length. While their feedback about the overall content was positive, one of my friends pointed out that it could be even stronger if I cut about two-thirds of it. 

Here’s my confession: Hearing this feedback from my sisters and my friends gave me pause. Neither was especially harsh; they weren’t criticizing the content, just expressing concerns about the length! But as I mulled it over late one night, I realized their feedback brought up feelings of insecurity about my writing. 

Only after stewing over it for twenty-four more hours did I realize that internal struggle is the only path to growth. In fact, I had to ask the following questions to lead myself out of insecurity and back to the path of growth:

• Is this feedback actionable? 
• Is this feedback fair? 
• Is this feedback a chance to grow my leader layer? 
• Am I open to this feedback? 

The answer to all these questions was a resounding yes. 

Developing Your Leader Layer

The leader layer is comprised of feedback, coaching, and in some cases, scars from the past. It is a growth layer born from listening, relating, and acting on feedback. The thicker it becomes, the more you grow. But it’s different than having a “thick skin,” which implies that you can hear anything and let it bounce off of you — having a thick “leader layer” means you can hear things, think about them, and then change for the better when it makes sense.

The question you have to ask yourself is, are you open to this kind of feedback? Are you open to growing your leadership layer? 

Today concludes my four-part series about leadership failures — here are parts one, two, and three. As a reminder, this series stemmed from thinking about my leadership failures in 2022. I am sharing them because I think the lessons are relevant to all leaders, and I hope this series will make you think about your own leadership and what you can do better.

Part 4: I Fail To Lead From the Front 

It’s crucial to find balance as a leader — not only making decisions, doing hard things, and serving as the leader — but also allowing those you lead to do those things. This dichotomy is something that leaders (including myself) struggle with, which was why I was delighted to read former Navy SEALs Jocko Willink and Leif Babin’s book about this topic, which helped influence and solidify my thoughts. As Jocko and Leif point out, every leader needs to follow at some point. 

Golf Caddy v. Head Coach

One of the things I encourage readers of this blog to do is to get to know themselves, their tendencies, and what they gravitate to. For example, my leadership style is more golf caddy than head coach — I like to set up a game plan with those who follow me (see the KRA mentioned in Leadership Failure Part 2) and then let them do the work or “hit the shots.” 

This is different than a head coach approach in several ways. Unlike a golf caddy, the head coach is there every step of the way. They might call a time-out and change strategy mid-game. They may critique performance during the game. They are much more hands-on in every regard.  

My golf caddy leadership style works well when the person I’m leading is a high performer, but not so well for those who need more constant input. So I need to get the hiring process right (something I’ll cover another time). 

What Does a Leader Do From the Front?

What I discovered in 2022, however, is that there are MORE potential weaknesses in my leadership style. I realized this by leading high performers. None of my direct reports performed poorly in 2022 — in fact, I would argue they performed very well! But this experience helped me clarify what my role needs to be going forward in the C-suite, surrounded by good leaders. (Note: even if you aren’t part of the C-suite, the three things I mention below still apply.) 

Think about this: If a leader is someone worth following, and leadership is the process of doing things with and through other people, what does a leader do from the front?

That depends. If the leader is surrounded by low performers, s/he could easily go back to doing the work. And this is tempting for leaders because “doing the work” is what they used to do and probably helped them earn their leadership position. But when you’re surrounded by high performers who are already doing the work and doing it well, what is a leader to do? 

Daily Vision

I’ve learned that my top priority is casting the vision. I know — many of my readers are saying, “Well, duh!” I said the same thing myself a year ago! But I’ve learned that I need to change the frequency of how often I cast that vision. I need to do it daily. 

Yes, daily. 

I need to cast vision every single day, and if you’re in senior leadership, so do you. The “Where are we going?” and “Why are we going there?” questions are the most important ones we need to answer on a daily basis. 

This is a more specific answer to the advice, “Work on the business and not in the business,” which sounds good but isn’t that helpful until you understand precisely what you need to work on. 

Leader-Only Activities

Next, there are activities that only you, the leader, can do. My executive coach shared with me the criteria that Dave Ramsey uses: 

• What is broken? 
• What is new? 
• What is the brand? 

These “buckets” are out at the front, and the front is exactly where you need to be! Now this doesn’t mean you come in on a white horse when there’s a problem. You are not the hero — the heroes are the people doing the tasks. Your role is to be at the front, shielding the people from the blows. 

What does that mean? 

It means that you play the role of David against Goliath — you go to the battlefield first, willing to take on the giant’s wrath. Think about yourself as the Chief Relationship Officer: you meet with the disgruntled team member, the ticked-off customer, or the concerned community member. You shield your team from these things so they can spend time doing the work. 

This is neither easy nor glamorous, which is why many leaders give in to the temptation and go back to doing the work. The work feels better and is easier to measure. Constantly taking on Goliaths is harder to measure, harder to do, and harder to endure. 

But it’s what you need to do leading from the front. 

Affirm from the Front

Finally, a reminder that you need to affirm from the front. Giving affirmation may feel soft, but it’s one of the most challenging things you do when surrounded by good leaders. You may assume they don’t need encouragement or affirmation, but in reality, they probably aren’t getting it from anywhere else in the office. I make this statement because they, too, are leaders. So unless their followers are genuinely telling them what they are doing right, who is? 

You need to be that person. 

It is what makes you worth following. 

I’m not saying you say something that is not genuine or true. I am simply saying that thanking someone after they spent a week overseas visiting customers goes a long way.

In conclusion, leaders are out at the front, exposed, and willing to do the hard (and sometimes awkward) things. 

It is not glamorous. 

It is leadership.