Random thoughts of a 41-year-old father of three (presently aged 6, 9, and 11)
- Tell your kids you love them with words. They still need to hear it.
- Walk close to your kids that want to walk close, and let your kids that want to walk ahead do so. Parenting is a simultaneous combination of closeness and looseness.
- Always point out what your kids are doing right on the sports field, in school, or at home. Positive affirmation will help them grow more than negative correction.
- Correct their character when it needs correction. This sounds contrary to number three, but it isn’t. Character is much deeper than “form” or “performance.”
- Loving their mom wholeheartedly may be the best way to serve your children.
- Hug your kids before bed every night.
- Explain the “why” behind the decisions you make. Help them to understand the decision-making process so they can use it themselves.
- Loosen the reins as they get older. Remind them that the reins are only loosened with trust but lead them in the transition from “rule-based obedience” to “personal discipline.”
- Cast a vision of what being an adult looks like — things like taking responsibility, leading yourself, and effectively managing money, among MANY other things we’ve talked about this year.
- Model the joy of learning. Talk about what you are reading, listening to, and learning.
- Model the positive use of technology. Put your phone away during a one-on-one conversation, or explain why you are answering an email at a professional sports event. Obviously, the goal is not to be. But modeling how — and more importantly, why this is OCCASIONALLY (emphasis intended) necessary is essential as they prepare for a technology-dominated future.
- Demonstrate what a Sabbath looks like. The world is non-stop, so explain why and even how you rest.
- Humanize people in the news through the lens of grace. Try to explain opposing viewpoints in a way that gives them the proper respect. This is counter-cultural and Biblical.
- Try to make your kids laugh from time to time. I occasionally achieve this by talking in a funny voice (I do impersonations if I’m in the right mood!), gently poking fun at them, and talking trash when I dominate them in basement basketball.
- Tell them you love them with words. They still need to hear it. Yes, I am repeating number one, but this is the most important thing. So do it twice.