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Series Introduction 

It has become my annual tradition to write birthday letters to my kids on this blog. I was recently traveling on a business trip, and my mind turned to this year’s letters. 

My kids have so many attributes that I admire and treasure. This reminded me of Paul’s writing in Galatians about the “Fruits of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23). As Paul teaches, these become evident in people when they abide in the Spirit of God. Or, in modern words, when we connect our charger to God, He powers us to display the attributes Paul refers to. 

I am totally biased and bragging, but God has produced these fruits in my kids. Therefore, in this year’s letters, I will identify three fruits that come to mind for each child. Before beginning, here is the scripture to keep in mind while reading these letters: 

[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. — Galatians 5:22-26 NIV

Dear Ben, 

One of the moments I often recall happened when one of my friends came over to watch Game 3 of the World Series. He observed how you kept both your mom and me on our toes. You were just shy of your third birthday at the time, and quite frankly, you were determined to teach us to be more flexible in our plans for the night. My friend looked at me and said, “God knew you needed Ben in your life.”

Amen. 

Like your siblings, there is so much to celebrate in you. What follows are three fruits of the spirit that God has gifted you in abundance: 

Joy

The first thing that I think about when I think about you is joy. You find joy in so much of life: You are the first person on your baseball team to take the field — and by that I mean you run out of the dugout with excitement, delight, and in a full sprint. You are the first person to cheer for your teammates, and you do so with enthusiasm. And at the mention of ice cream, your face lights up like it is both your birthday and Christmas morning. 

One of my favorite moments this past year was the morning I told you that Will’s baseball coach needed a replacement player and wanted you to “play up” with his team. Your reaction was like I was telling you that Dairy Queen was giving you free ice cream for a year! You were fist-pumping, running around the family room, and yelling, “Let’s GO!” I remember thinking to myself that I needed to file this moment away. 

I later realized how much I needed to learn from this moment. I am the kind of person who thinks past the excitement and to the results, so often, my mind goes to all that might go wrong. It is not a healthy way to go through life, and you reminded me that morning that I need to take the opportunities when they come. I was proud of how you approached the game that night, and it was fun watching you excel on the field.  

Goodness 

Another defining characteristic about you is your goodness. Where this comes across most is in your inquisitiveness towards others. For example, I know that when you’re sitting with your uncle at a Blackhawks game, you will ask him 900  different questions. This is another thing I am learning from you as I often struggle formulating questions. You, on the other hand, fire away. Please never lose this. It is such a gift to nurture and further develop. 

As the middle child, you often get pulled in two directions at the same time. This is another area where your goodness shines through. You can play Legos with Sadie and even entertain her by being funny at her level, and then go outside and play a game of football or golf with Will. I appreciate this, and so does your mother. 

Faithfulness

When I think of Biblical faithfulness I think about how the spirit of God makes one trustworthy and reliable. Ultimately, this happens when we trust God and do what his word says. We trust it in the sense that we follow it — to the best of our ability and despite our imperfections — and, therefore, are faithful people. 

I see elements of this in you. When you read God’s word, it is clear you are reading it to follow it. These seeds show up in how you treat your siblings and friends by being someone they can rely on. One of the things I appreciate is how you speak of your friends. I cannot recall criticism; I can only recall you talking about them positively. Carry this into adulthood, and others will describe you as faithful, trustworthy, and a genuine friend. 

A Final Word… 

You have so much potential. I naturally think that about both of your siblings as well and take zero credit for any of it. Rather, I think God has gifted you each uniquely and it is my job, along with your mother, to steward what he has given us. 

With this, I have two specific prayers for you. 

First, I pray that you and your siblings stay close. I pray that you learn from each other as well — I pray that you learn some of Will’s discipline to do hard things, and I pray that Will learns some of your inquisitiveness. I pray that both of you learn how to love like Sadie loves, and that Sadie learns from you and Will that men have self-control and are faithful. Finally, I pray that the joy you possess in abundance characterizes the relationship you all have for the decades to come! 

Secondly, I pray that you root yourself in Jesus. I am not saying this because it is the “Christian thing to say.” I am saying this because I had (and on the wrong day, still have) an appetite for worldly things. That might have been ice cream at one point in my life, but as the years went on it ranged from girls to pleasure to success. None of it fulfilled. The more I sought my life, the more I lost it. The more I tried to find happiness in terms of how our culture defines it, the more I found myself hurt — or worse, hurting others. 

I came to Jesus because I was desperate for life. More than a crutch, however, he was a Savior. I found what he said to be true. I also did a lot of research on the tomb, what happened after his death, and how his earliest followers mostly found similar deaths. I could not wrap my head around someone dying for something they knew to be false. 

So, I made my decision. 

I pray that you, and your siblings, make yours. 

Regardless of what you choose, and regardless of what you do, I love you. 

There are no conditions. 

Love, 

Dad 

This week, I intended to write a post about all the reasons I love coming to work at a family business. To be sure, I will include some thoughts about that below. But setting that aside, at least to start, I want to share thoughts on a few topics that have been on my mind. They probably aren’t big enough ideas to warrant their own blog posts, so I am including them here. What follows flows from my heart. 

COVID

Last month, I spent a week home with my second bout of COVID. If my first experience with COVID taught me anything, it was to have more grace towards others. My second experience reminded me how much that first experience shaped my views about all the COVID-related things people have discussed at the water cooler the last two years. I don’t have strong stances on any of them because my experience having COVID stunk to the high heavens. For some, that might have led them to have stronger views — but it didn’t for me. It just made me want to mourn with those who mourn and offer grace to all. Of course, I don’t always get that right…so I confess when I screw it up and start again. 

This second time with COVID also reminded me that ultimately, my body will fail. My tendency for self-reliance is utterly exposed by illness, the reality of time, and age. Disease makes even the young(er) person aware of their limitations. While my cold-like symptoms were hardly severe, they did kick my butt. Put simply, they humbled me. 

Work

Earlier this morning, I walked back into the gym before the sun came up. And I wondered —why was I there? Because this is what I do — at least that is what I tell myself. It is true. There is nothing glorious about it. Nor am I being braggadocios. I just show up and do the work. This is the gift of early morning workouts — they prime my “showing up” muscle. 

I suppose this is what actor Brian Cox is referring to in his memoir when he says, “Don’t worry about career, worry about craft.” Showing up to work out is obviously not my craft — just look at me, for goodness sake! But it requires the kind of intentionality and discipline that helps in everything else I do. After all, when does a good workout begin? The answer is the night before. 

The same can be said about a good day. And the same can also be said about writing. I show up and write. Regardless of who reads, I simply continue to do the work. I will always do the work. I have too much fun writing this blog to quit.

Family 

Another gift of illness is perspective. Last fall, I constantly complained to my wife about attempting to (assistant) coach two kids’ baseball teams, get up at 5 a.m. every day for work, and on and on. In hindsight, the amount of grace she gives me is amazing. I can be a real whiner. 

Given this context, I was praying about not coaching my younger son’s team. The younger kids can get on my nerves, and I can only do so much. I prayed about it because I believe only God can see the future. I also believe all wisdom comes from God. I ask God to protect me from potential bad decisions today. 

Now, you probably get where this is going to go. Before it goes there, I want to say that I do not think parents need to always be involved — this is why I was praying. I believe we overload our schedules these days, which is not good for anyone, especially the kids. 

That said, I had a change of heart last week. I went from being almost sure I was not going to coach to feeling convinced I should coach. Frankly, I just started to get this sense of how fast their childhoods were going. Not just this one son, but all our kids. 

I also remembered that the most important time I have with my middle child is the time in the car driving to and from practice. He talks my ear off. He asks all sorts of questions and shares some fantastic insights. While I could easily drive him to and from practice not being his coach, inevitably, I would miss some of these times due to other responsibilities. So, this time is just too precious to miss. I do not want these days to ever end. Yet logically, I know they will. 

Gratitude

Let me share a truth about gratitude: You need gratitude the most when you feel the least like expressing it. 

A few weeks ago, I was in a whiny mood about work. Realizing this, I declared the following day “Gratitude Day.” The next day, I made it a point to list all the reasons I loved work in my notebook. The list was not super long by day’s end — again, I was in a whiny state of mind — but it was enough to jolt me back in the right direction. 

Observing gratitude days will be an ongoing practice for me. In hindsight, I should have practiced one last week when I had COVID because it would have helped.  

Sarah had our pest control agent to the house the other day. Our house passed its monthly checkup, although there had been a small problem with flies in the boys’ shared bathroom back in September and October. Thanks to cold Chicago temperatures, the problem is resolved for now, but we are still curious how 2-3 flies were randomly showing up in their bathroom.

During the previous visit, the agent feverishly checked the outside of the home to see if there were any way that flies were getting in. She was puzzled because she did not find any. In between visits, however, she had a revelation: What if the boys were leaving urine on the toilet seat, or worse, leaving small amounts on the floor when they “missed?”

When Sarah told me this, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that this WAS happening because that is what fathers do — especially ones tired from twelve-hour days; and also, because I know that Ben (6) has the accuracy of my favorite football team’s quarterback when it comes to this endeavor.

Kidding aside, I also know something about manufacturing: Pee attracts flies.

Leaders, we cannot be surprised when flies have gathered around the messes in our organization. In fact, when we notice that messes exist, the best thing we can do is mop them up. You don’t need a new policy, high paid consultant, or even new procedure to do this.

You just have to do it.

The pest visit led to our son, Ben (6), getting on his hands and knees to ensure that he had not missed anything in the bathroom. Meanwhile, Will (8) had his feet up watching Monday Night Football…

I guess that is another “management blog” for another time…

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The Mid-Week Perspective post is an “almost weekly” post that comments on the world and all that is in it. All opinions are my own.

This past weekend, our church wrapped up a fascinating series on how Biblical Christianity and Science are not at odds with one another. The series, entitled “All Creation Sings” can be found clicking here.

Like any good sermon series, this series motivated me to reflect on the topic we were studying. Why have I been so hesitant to study science as an adult, I wondered?

The answer is humbling to admit publicly: If I am honest with myself, it goes back to a bad grade (“needs improvement”) that I received in second-grade science. Couple this with an experience in Honors Biology, and Honors Chemistry, in High School, and my lack of success in these classes created a negative narrative around a subject that I find interesting. Like a scarlet letter, I have carried this false belief with me ever since.

Here is this week’s thought: Don’t allow a one-time negative experience define your many future experiences.

I used to do this with Science. But, in large part due to this four-week sermon series, that is no longer the case.

In fact, I am already reading a science book.

What is something, with a changed mindset, you can do?

The answer might change your 2020.

Please subscribe to Bald in Business so that I can send encouragement directly into your mailbox!

Welcome to a new recurring #baldinbusiness feature called Book Club Tuesday. Each week I will spotlight one book, and have a little fun in the process.

Book: The Ride of A Lifetime

Author: Robert Iger

Length: 272 pages / 8 hours and 45 minutes via Audible

Why I chose to read it: Growing up in the 1980s, Disney has always fascinated me. I can remember Disney CEO, Michael Eisner, standing in front of the iconic castle introducing the Disney program that I was about to watch on T.V. I remember going to Disney World several times, including once in seventh-grade with my parents and all four grandparents (their last major trip together). Disney always brings many happy memories to mind. Thus, my fascination put this book in the “must read” category.

My Takeaways (3 or less): Despite what people in non-leadership positions might think, leadership is overwhelming. I chuckled one morning driving to work –I was in the midst of a crazy week where 5 a.m. workouts were followed by work responsibilities until 6:00 P.M., then followed by my “real” job at home –when Iger shared the day Disney announced one of their many acquisitions and his day went from 3 a.m. until 10 p.m. I still have room to grow, I thought. Duh. As Iger’s work-life demonstrates, you never “arrive.” His relentless pursuit of “better” stands out. Although, my world-view might guide me to make different decisions than he did in terms of moves, ladder-climbing, etc. Please hear that as a difference and not a criticism. I am inspired by, and definitely respectful of, his tireless work-ethic.

Here is a quote from the book that I have been pondering this week: “But those instances in which you find yourself hoping something will work, that’s when a little bell should go off and you should walk yourself through some clarifying questions: What’s the problem I need to solve? Does the solution make sense? If I am feeling some doubt, why? Am I doing this for sound reasons, or am I motivated by something personal?”

Finally, Iger’s willingness to talk about how he deals with terminations is practical, humane, and helpful.

What does this book motivate me to DO? Work harder, believe in bigger and better, and utilize a white-board to determine where Hoffer Plastics needs to go next (note: I didn’t need this book to do any of these things, but it inspired me. Leaders: It is up to us to fill our tanks. This book was a tank-filler for me).

Who should read this book? Business-minded fans of Disney, Pixar, Lucas films, and ESPN! Critics would also find something in this book.

I would sum my rating of the book as…Inspirational

“If you haven’t read hundreds of books, learning from others who went before you, you are functionally illiterate. You can’t coach, and you can’t lead.” Jim Mattis

Special note: I am taking next week off. The next Book Club will be November 26.

#TheWeekly is an almost weekly review post that models weekly reflection. To be someone worth following, you need to reflect and learn. You also need to be thankful for what you have. #TheWeekly aims to do these things. My hope is that this post inspires you to reflect on YOUR week. Feel free to use the questions below to do so.

I had just sat down at my desk after lunch yesterday when my phone rang. “Sarah,” was who was calling. “That’s my real boss,” I told Tammy. She laughed as she was leaving, and I took the call.

“Everything is fine, and we are alright,” began Sarah, “but Sadie and I were just in an accident –well, a hit and run.”

Time stood still.

A hit and run?

Everyone is okay?

I’m a guy, so my immediate reaction was a combination of anger, blame, and protection for the most precious pieces of cargo in the entire world.

But then, like a clearing of the clouds on a dark and dreary winter day, came the amazing light of thankfulness.

I know this might sound crazy to some, but I pray often for Sarah’s protection driving up and down Randall Road. It can, after all, be like the wild west.

God protected.

Amen.

The damage? Who cares!

The life?

It doesn’t get better than life with Sarah.

In a strange way this event was a reminder that I married well, my daughter has me wrapped around her fingers, and that I need to buy a shotgun before she begins dating.

Okay, maybe the latter is just comedic relief.

Dear God: May the person that did the hit and run come to know the Lord, and come to find the only hope that does not disappoint in the end. We forgive them. No grudges. We have been given much, and can pay the price. But, help this person come to live in the light, and abide by the consequences of their actions. We pray for their safety, and that of others, that their driving becomes less erratic, and safer. If they are running from something, we pray that they eventually run home to Jesus. Amen.

90 minutes after this incident, I was sitting back after driving to the accident site to make sure Sarah was okay. She lectured me that I didn’t need to come, but I wasn’t going to start listening to her at this moment…

Life went on.

Praise the Lord, life went on!

I love you Sarah.

More than words can describe.

I love you.

The Mid-Week Perspective post is an “almost weekly” post that comments on the world and all that is in it. All opinions are my own.

As I got out of my car Monday morning at Starbucks, I noticed a crumpled-up water bottle and aluminum can in the parking lot. Before walking by them, as is my natural habit unfortunately —I did not put it there after all —I bent down, picked them up, and threw them away.

The plastic waste issue is real. It is sad. It is something we have to stop talking and arguing about, and actually do something.

Picking up one piece of plastic is not going to resolve anything.

But what if we all did?

What if we stopped littering in the first place?

Again, this would not solve the problem. But wouldn’t it be an incredible change?

There is so much to say on this topic, and I have written an Op-Ed that will begin appearing next month, so more to come on my thoughts.

But for now, do something.

Imagine if the critics spent equal amounts of time doing, as they already do criticizing. Wouldn’t we be better off?

I cannot control them, so I’m spending this day strategizing with our team on how we are going to make spouted pouches more environmentally friendly. We have many ideas. And we are going to do something big.

We are all-in on this pursuit.

It is that important to us.

Please subscribe to Bald in Business so that I can send encouragement directly into your mailbox!

#TheWeekly is an almost weekly review post that models weekly reflection. To be someone worth following, you need to reflect and learn. You also need to be thankful for what you have. #TheWeekly aims to do these things. My hope is that this post inspires you to reflect on YOUR week. Feel free to use the questions below to do so.

What did I do well this week? (I will always start here because I can list 90 things I felt I did wrong this week, and every week!). The book I began this week (The Ride of A Lifetime, by Robert Iger) makes the point that leaders need to have uncomfortable conversations regularly. While I am not going to go into details about the conversation I had, I am noting it as what I did well this week because it is not easy to do.

What did I learn this week? I’ve had one of those weeks where there is not enough hours in the day. Between planning for strategy meetings next week, upcoming travel, and various meetings, I have thrived only through the use of the Full Focus planner. Writing down what is most important keeps me headed in the direction that I intend to go.

What am I going to do with what I learned? Prior to writing this post, I spent 20 minutes planning next week out, and leaving some room to flex. Not only does this prepare me for next week, it also helps me “relax” more over the weekend. For, I know what I need to do when the clock strikes 4:50 a.m. Monday.

What is something positive I can share about the world? Apple TV + launches for $4.99 per month today. I don’t know if I am signing up today, but I eventually will. It snowed in Chicago yesterday, so golf season is over and “cuddling up with Sarah to watch T.V. season” is upon us. I’m also interested in Apple TV + because of this statement from Thursday’s Wall Street Journal: “The focus—combined with an aversion to over-the-top gratuitous sex, violence and language—has led some Hollywood creators to question if Apple TV+ will be as risqué as Netflix, FX or HBO, whose programs often embrace the underbelly of culture and society.” We shall see, but I am rooting for more family-friendly entertainment options.

What is a confession or embarrassing admission? I confess that I have had a lot of fear around our kids’ health after our good friends’ daughter was diagnosed with a severe brain tumor. Their story is not about me, but it has brought to the surface some long-held deep fears. I also confess that their story has me more emotional than normal. I’m praying for a miracle daily.

What did I notice, or love, or find funny about Parenthood? The other night Ben (5) prayed the following at dinner: “And God…change Sadie’s attitude, amen.” Can’t you relate? “Dear God, please change so and so and not me!” It just doesn’t work that way…The other shareable Ben story is that Sarah brought home a “Chinese Food Take-Out” costume from the dollar store because Sadie was playing with it. When Ben got home from school Thursday he put it on and started walking around the house shouting “Chinese Take-OVER.” The importance of words!

What do I appreciate about Sarah? Last weekend we were without power in northern California at a wedding. This involved cold showers, a cold room, and walking around the hotel in the dark. Yet, Sarah’s attitude was incredible! No complaints, even when she had to do her hair without a hair dryer, and in the dark –a feet much easier for me! And of course, she looked sensational!

Anything to add to #Baldinbusiness subscribers? A note to northern #BIB subscribers. We cannot control the weather, so let’s not complain about it. I have seen this pop up at our office in the last twenty-four hours. On one-hand, it isn’t that big of a deal. But, don’t small complaints bread more? Let’s be thankful instead. All of California would LOVE snow right now because they need the moisture. So, let’s have some perspective this winter (and let’s visit all our friends down South!).

#TheWeekly is an almost weekly review post that models weekly reflection. To be someone worth following, you need to reflect and learn. You also need to be thankful for what you have. #TheWeekly aims to do these things.

What did I do well this week? I spent Wednesday this week visiting my executive coach in Nashville. John helped me identify the things that fill my tank at work. They are building relationships with customers and partners, building relationships with Hoffer Plastics team members (development), and any activity associated with our proprietary product line for spouted pouches. Of course, there are many other aspects of my job outside this, but this practice helped me identify my work “bucket-fillers.” As I have written before, no body else is going to fill your bucket, so you need to be sure of what fills it. Burnout, after all, is a real thing.

What did I learn this week? Speaking of burnout, John and I spent time talking about burnout during our time together. Signs of burnout for me range from getting short with the kids after work –when they are just being kids!–to getting annoyed with team members for asking legitimate questions. When I start behaving in a hurried, annoyed, and even cynical state, I need to do a self-check to see if the problem is really me. Perhaps, my tank needs to be refilled. Obviously, burnout goes much deeper than this. I share, however, because I suspect these are the early signs to the all-encompassing “I am going to quit my job” kind. Drastic action might seem all-of-the-sudden, but usually there are many signposts along the way.

What am I going to do with what I learned? As strange as this might sound, I have been practicing what Dallas Willard calls, “ruthlessly eliminating hurry from (my) life.” I don’t believe in random occurrences –I know, I am strange –so it was amazing finding myself at Ramsey Solutions Wednesday morning in time to hear John Ortberg, Dallas Willard’s friend, talk exactly about this practice! For me, this is as simple as stopping what I am doing. Sitting. Thinking. Praying. And then resuming. You can’t react your way to sustained positive outcomes. That can only be done through intentional action.

What is something positive I can share about the world? There is so much good, especially everything I experienced Wednesday, as well as some fun conversations I had on Thursday. But, what comes to mind with this question is the weeping my heart is doing for friends that have been thrown a curve-ball this week that is the number one fear of every parent. Their little angel is sick, very sick. Please pray for Lydia.

What is a confession or embarrassing admission? I have been too willing to have the extra bite of food, and extra sip of wine lately. This isn’t a major problem, but I don’t want gluttony to become one. Self-control muscles need some work…

What did I notice, or love, or find funny about Parenthood? We have had some struggles with Ben this week discipline wise. Given what I wrote above, I am not going to make that big of a deal about this. It is just to say that parenting is a full-contact sport.

What do I appreciate about Sarah? Sarah texted me a little while ago about the research she had done on parenting a five-year-old that is having “control” issues. She is the ultimate “student of the game” and there is no one I would rather parent with.

Anything to add to #Baldinbusiness subscribers? Please hug your loved ones this week. Please pray for Lydia. Please pray that God works one more miracle.

#Theweekly is taking a one week hiatus as my schedule most likely won’t allow for this post next week. It will return on October 25.