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#TheWeekly is an almost weekly review post that models weekly reflection. To be someone worth following, you need to reflect and learn. You also need to be thankful for what you have. #TheWeekly aims to do these things.

What did I do well this week? (I will always start here because I can list 90 things I felt I did wrong this week, and every week!). On Thursday I spoke about Leadership at the MAPP Conference in Indianapolis. So, anytime I get in front of an audience and speak I did something well by SHOWING UP. I’m always a little nervous, even a little insecure, so this takes guts.

What did I learn this week? Breakups are hard. I’m a Joe Maddon apologist, but maybe it was time for him to split with the Chicago Cubs? I don’t know. What I learned from that situation is the following: The Cubs would have been better making the move last year if he was never coming back. While I cannot definitively prove this, I suspect that the lack of certainty played some role in their inability to find any consistency this year. Leaders: Our team-members cannot perform at their best if they are always looking over their shoulder, or wondering if they are going to be back. Since March, EVERYONE associated with the Cubs wondered if Joe was going to be back. That is NOT healthy.

What am I going to do with what I learned? I don’t want our team members to be on one year contracts per se. Therefore, I am going to make things abundantly clear and give as much SECURITY as I can offer. I’ll repeat, I believe that with security comes people’s best. (Of course, there needs to be a balance because too much security can create complacency. But, “singing for your supper” every year is no way to live).

What is something positive I can share about the world? The Chicago Bears are 3-1. We had a few Minnesota Vikings fans to our tailgate Sunday. We laughed, did NOT talk any trash to each other, and had a good time. If only Congress could remember that the “other” side is human as well.

What is a confession or embarrassing admission? I hope that I don’t sound holier than thou with the #theothursday posts. This week I have felt like I am drifting a little in my spiritual walk. I’m self-centered too often. I am stubborn, meaning I want to do what I want to do. I also often think I have the right answer. I confess that all this is true about me, which is why I am entirely dependent on Jesus.

What did I notice, or love, or find funny about Parenthood? If there is anything better than your three kids singing you happy birthday I haven’t found it.

What do I appreciate about Sarah? Sarah made some homemade Oatmeal cookies this week that made me feel like Jesus had just turned the water into wine all over again. Holy cow (like drunk Harry Caray HOLY COW – just having fun!). They were incredible. And in that moment of weakness, I would have bought Sarah anything she wanted under the sun. Besides her amazing cooking, I simply appreciate how special she can make me feel on my birthday week. I’m looking forward to a great date night on Saturday.

Anything to add to #Baldinbusiness subscribers? I have heard too many bad stories about marriage lately. Make sure you tell, and show, your spouse how much you love them. And single people, you are not alone. Come hang at our house if you are in the area! I’m not forgetting about you, I just don’t want to see marriages keep crumbling.

#TheWeekly is an almost weekly review post that models weekly reflection. To be someone worth following, you need to reflect and learn. You also need to be thankful for what you have. #TheWeekly aims to do these things.

What did I do well this week? (I will always start here because I can list 90 things I felt I did wrong this week, and every week!). I gave one of our team members DIRECT encouragement by going into their office, sitting down, looking them in the eye, and telling them how they have been doing an amazing job managing a tough market. This is always uncomfortable, but I am proud that I did this.

What did I learn this week? Sarah told me how great of a communicator Ben is compared to Will (when he was 5) in terms of “what happened at school.” Then she went on Facebook and saw him sitting next to a Fireman that came in that day. Ben’s face said it was the highlight of the day. We had not heard about it. After we finished laughing, I realized that this is the reality of communication. You simply cannot share everything, all the time. My application, communicate MORE, give grace MORE.

What am I going to do with what I learned? Remind team-members to communicate, but still give grace when they are not perfect. Don’t let good enough be the enemy to great!

What is something positive I can share about the world? My favorite Barista at Starbucks and I had an amazing cordial conversation as always Monday at 7 a.m. While this isn’t newsworthy, it is apparent that we are on VASTLY different ends of the political spectrum. And despite this, we can be kind to each other. Always. Gee, there is a thought!

What is a confession or embarrassing admission? I am thinking too much about material things like cars lately. I think the root cause has to do with some silly idea that “I deserve THAT” for all the time I am putting into work etc. Ugh, embarrassing to admit.

What did I notice, or love, or find funny about Parenthood? I noticed that the Boys find things to do (play) when we tell them to turn the screens off. A golf buddy recently gave me some advice on video games, so I have been paying attention to this. We don’t have them in our house (yet), and I think I can buy more time before having to. They’re playing legos as I type this sentence…

What do I appreciate about Sarah? We are doing a neighborhood series at Church. This motivated Sarah to go buy flowers for a neighbor that just lost their dog. Her kindness, and thoughtfulness, always challenges me.

Anything to add to #Baldinbusiness subscribers? The old adage, “whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right,” is a good thought this week. I appreciate all the new subscribers to the blog. I do have a “day job,” so knowing these posts go out automatically to more people is encouraging. Check out Monday’s post as to why I write this blog in the first place. To that end, you matter more than you think to more than you think! That includes me.

As cliché as the expression has become, it is amazing that another year has flown by.  Today not only marks my last post of 2018, but it also is my last post on the current webpage.  Besides working this week, I will begin transitioning the website! 

Don’t worry, you can find me starting on January 2, 2019, at the same place as always: baldinbusiness.com. (Reading this message via email?  PLEASE re-subscribe on the new site on January 2nd.  Again, you have to go to the new website to sign back up).

I know that Mark, one of my most supportive readers, is going to want to know what to do this week without the #TuesdayT (challenging truths for life and leadership), and #TheoThursday (theological thoughts about the workplace) posts, so here are some ideas to close the year out:

1. Finish making your 2019 goals before leaving work on 12/21.

2. Journal on the most impactful lesson learned in 2018. (For example, in writing the blog, I learned that the reader wants post 300 words or less. Expect that in ’19).

3. Write a letter of encouragement to a co-worker! Write a thank you card to a customer! 4. Create a private YouTube video for your team (nothing creepy, just positive encouragement)

5. Set an outlook reminder to check baldinbusiness.com on 1/2/19!Join the B.I.B. Facebook page to see new site updates there!

6. Answer LinkedIn messages.

7. Leave work early.

8.Finalize your 2019 vacation plans and block the dates.

9. Begin reading a leadership book.

10. Buy your favorite blogger some wine for his cellar!

11. Share that wine instead with your spouse over the holiday!

I wish everyone reading these words a safe, happy, and restful holiday.

Merry Christmas!

See you on January 2nd.

Theological thoughts from a non-theologian.

Unashamedly, I believe everyone should read the Bible because everyone has an opinion about the Bible.

Sadly, many people – Christians in particular – do not understand the Bible.  Given that another New Year is around the corner, I’m using today’s post to share some resources and get you thinking about making the most life-changing resolution you could make for the coming year.  Here we go:

The Bible is 66 books in one.  It encompasses many literary genres (poetry, narrative, and letters to name a few).  Therefore, I recommend this book, or this book to understand the writing as it was intended.

Next, everyone should have a reading plan.  I invite you to download this app, and follow the Bible Savvy reading plan. It takes one through the Bible in 5 years.  (Yes, 5 years).  The pace is manageable, and allows one to dig deep into what they are reading.

Finally, I recommend using the “COMA” method of note-taking in order to “get something” out of your reading each day.

What’s “COMA?”

C–Context of the book you’re reading.  For starters, what kind of book is this (genre?).  When was it written?  Etc. Besides an NIV Study Bible introduction, I recommend the videos on the Bible Project to help you understand the context.

O–Observations of the passage you’re reading.  What’s the theme? What is striking? What other observations can you make?

M—Message of the passage you’re reading. What’s the main point?

A—Application for you.  What did you get out of it?  What are you going to do with it?

I invite you to spend 15 minutes every day reading the Bible.

Friendly reminder for subscribers to sign back up on January 2, 2019, when Bald in Business re-launches.  Also, “like” the Bald in Business Facebook page to see some previews of what’s to come.

I often comment in the middle of posts that I write about what I think my wife, Sarah, will say to me when she edits the post.  I can do this rather accurately because I know my wife better than anyone else on the planet.  Likewise, she knows me better than anyone else.  This intimacy takes time, and intentionality, to develop.  The best marriages are a continual journey of “other-centered discovery,” for my wife and I know each other much better today than we did the day we said “I do.”

I make mention because I have noticed an alarming trend in our modern society.  As we continue to divide into left, right, religious, non-religious, etc., we are more able to shut out all inputs from the “other” side than ever before in human-history.  Don’t like the opposing view on your twitter or Facebook feed?  Unfollow, hide, or silence.  Want more of your tribe’s viewpoint?  Follow, read, and listen.

While there are several reasons this phenomenon continues to gain momentum, I think one of the main reasons is that people want to feel part of something.  They want to be “in.” They want to be liked.

The obvious application to the workplace is that we, leaders, need to create an environment where everybody feels “in.” We need to set the tone, cast the vision, and explain why it all matters.  Most importantly, we have to continually remind people that they matter and that the work they do is critical to others.

We also need people on our team that are able to ask the question “what is the other person thinking?” and mean it.  “Meaning it” means that they probe, non-judgmentally, to understand the other’s viewpoint:  What does the business look like from their vantage point?  How do my actions make their job harder? Or, do they make it easier?  Do I know anything about their family, or what they do outside work?  Are there any circumstances in their life that could be making work more difficult?

This kind of work takes intentionality, but it is worth it.  Understanding the “other’s” circumstances, and point-of-view, brings one closer to the other person.  This doesn’t mean that everyone agrees on difficult subject matters.  It just means that opposition remains civil, and conflict remains productive.  Rather than disputes morphing from “you’re wrong” to “you’re evil,” or even “you’re un-American,” they stay respectful.

Above all, this kind of culture has to be modeled at the top by the leaders of the organization.  We have to be accepting.  We have to be listening.  We have to be on a never-ending “others-centered discovery.”

“Do to others as you would have them do to you…unless you’re giving anonymous feedback online. Then let them have it!”

-Contemporary Modern Translation (CMT)

A friend of mine recently shared her experience reviewing survey data from her organization’s yearly event that is attended by thousands of people. “People send in their surveys anonymously, and it is like they don’t realize that an actual real human being is going to have to read them. Some of the feedback is really nasty…”

“Real human beings” read anonymous surveys.

Did you catch that?

Just making sure.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

The golden rule applies directly to anonymous feedback. On a personal level, I resist anonymity by making it clear who is writing what I am writing. Or, I fill out the contact information so that the person or organization knows where the feedback is coming from. This way, I am held accountable for what I am saying, especially if I am saying something difficult (i.e. criticism).

While I am not a big fan of anonymous 360 reviews, I have done the same when asked to do them. I have even signed my name by what I said. For I want to have a face-to-face conversation with the person I am reviewing if what I wrote upsets them.

Isn’t that the decent thing to do?

And if we are the ones soliciting feedback from our teams, consider in-person interviews rather than surveys to encourage constructive, civil conversations rather than venting unfiltered frustrations.

We live in a day and age where decency is no longer the norm. Just look at the vitriol shared on all social media platforms.

We all would do well to remember that “real human beings” are on the other side of computer screens as well.

As leaders, we would do well to remember that our teams read our emails and text messages.

Aren’t they humans too?

Real human beings are always on the other side of all our communication…

Last Thursday I wrote about forgiveness and how it sets you free. Today, I want to write about one of the biggest issues I continue to observe in our modern-day culture: Our willingness to give others power over us.

Do any of these get your blood pumping:

Your “friend” from high school —that you have not physically seen in 20 years — goes on a Facebook diatribe about the Supreme Court vacancy, and they happen to have the complete opposite view that you have.

Your neighbor has a huge party, and you are not invited.

At a highly-attended conference, you see a friend in the industry. They tell you all sorts of things about your competitors: the good, the bad, the ugly…

Admittedly, a lot of the above gets my blood pumping.

And it shouldn’t.

Why do we allow others to have power over us?

Your friend is allowed to their opinion, your neighbors can invite who they want (what if it is a family gathering?), and what does the condition of your competitor have to do with you? (Note: Competitive intelligence is a good thing so long as it is a “head” and not “heart” thing. It should be easy to discern the difference).

This topic is as old as time itself. But with the invention of new ways to get people pissed off —which is what social media sort of feels like at this point —it is important for us to get a grip.

Who cares what the politician is tweeting?

More importantly, do we have the guts to get past juvenile lunchroom behavior (i.e. I am only sitting with my group) and have real conversations (off social media!)?

Each of these instances lose their emotional power over us when we make the choice to deprive them of that power.

I’ll end with an example that some will disagree with. I want to preface this by saying that I could care less about when athletes travel to the White House. I’d like to see more coverage on our nightly news about the atrocities Boko Haram continues to inflict in Nigeria than about the next sports team forgoing a trip to the White House. I also believe in free speech and applaud athletes when they use theirs.

Having said all that, and being an observer, it blows my mind how much power the athletes have ceded to the current administration. If you truly want to change the direction of the country, why would you ever forgo a seat at the table? While I understand the point of view that the whole ordeal is a “charade,” there still is time to meet, shake hands, and speak.

Just imagine if the whole ordeal was so uncomfortable for the President that he was the one backing out? Who would have the power then?

(It bears repeating, I have no dog in this fight!).

My point simply is that we need to stop giving others the power. This may mean swallowing our pride. It will mean controlling our thoughts and emotions. But these are the ingredients to maintaining grip on our own life, instead of handing it to others.