Confession: The Need to Counterbalance

man looking over cliff

The amount of information these days is absolutely staggering. At the risk of completely exposing myself, here are inputs – information of various kinds – that I typically interact with daily.

  • Each day starts with the Bible around 515 a.m.
  • A business or leadership podcast while I am getting ready.
  • LeaderBox book during breakfast (I am taking some time off LeaderBox to read other materials for the time being)
  • Occasionally more podcasting on the way to work or home from work.More podcasting in the gym (3 to 4 days per week).
  • Various interactions with the Internet.
  • Various interactions with Social Media (more on blog posting days).
  • Email (I’d guess I receive 250-350 messages per day via work and personal accounts. I’d guess that 80% of these can be easily deleted, but they still add to the overall information overload)
  • Unsolicited text messages. I’m referring here to the random messages from well-meaning friends, but also add to the overall noise of the day.
  • Phone notifications (related to news and sports, although I have cut these down as well).
  • History book or fiction novel I read or listen to in the evenings for my own betterment and enjoyment.

Please understand that this is not a brag, but a confession:

I’m insecure as a leader.

I feel like if I am not working hard enough, reading enough, pushing myself enough, that I will fail.

Worse, I struggle with my self-worth when these things are not happening.

I feel lazy and unworthy.

As of March 29 – the day I am writing this post – I have read 11 books already in 2018.

I still don’t feel adequate.

I even feel enslaved to my own routines.

This is my confession to all still reading.

I am just being real.

Where do we go from here?

I write and speak often about the need to do what is uncomfortable. For many, that means picking up the book they normally would not read, creating time to go to the gym, or deciding before the big meal that they are not going to eat the unhealthy option.

But as I am confessing here, some of us need a counterbalance. We need to give ourselves permission to take the foot off the gas.

To rest.

To have fun.

To slow down and delight.

The pace I have gone in this first quarter is unsustainable on many fronts, inputs being one of them.

I am owning that.

What about you?

Do you need to slow down?

Or, do you need to get started?

That’s inventory only you can take.

So, take it.

Examine where you are, and make the necessary changes to get better.

And in the process, let’s remember that negative self-talk is not going to get either of us anywhere.

So let’s bring it to the light, and call it the liar that it is.