I was planning on writing a totally different post — but I just found out about a big change occurring inside our business. Two of our leaders are leaving together to pursue another opportunity.
In other words, what I thought was the plan and what the plan actually is are two different things.
Change is always hard. Our “plan” was going just fine — in fact, the company had its best month ever in March! But now, things are interrupted.
Interruption always brings change. And change is rarely fun.
As I told my dad when we were texting last night, I have to bring positive energy to the office tomorrow morning. Writing these words on the ‘morrow morning, I don’t feel positive. So where do I go from here?
The Feeling of Grief
It would be easier if the two people leaving were not good at their jobs. It would be easier if they were people I did not respect or like. It would be easier, but still not easy.
The question I find myself pondering is whether I am mad or sad? As a man, it is more socially acceptable to be the former than the latter. But honestly, I am the latter.
Businesswise, we will be fine. And please note that by saying that, I am not knocking our two departing employees — their loss is enormous. I just serve a bigger God who has countlessly provided for our company and me, over and over again. I have faith in Him.
Further, I realize we are all replaceable. This starts with ME. I am easily replaceable in so many respects it is not even funny. I am fallible, I get things wrong, and I know other people could do my job just as well or better than I do. I really think this — and I also think (and know!) that in Jesus’ eyes, my value is so great that even the cross was bearable.
Both realities are true.
So I am just sad. I am mostly sad that I won’t have the relational connection that I have had with them. Change sucks in this regard.
Living Out the Emotion
The next question I ask myself is what emotion am I going to live out? Is it anger? Sadness? Or something else?
Is it love?
If love is defined in terms of feelings, it cannot be.
I don’t feel loving at all.
I don’t feel hatred either.
I don’t feel much at all. I just feel numb.
But, I choose love. I choose the sacrificial kind of love. The kind that does not feel good to give. The kind that costs something.
I know this might sound crazy, but last night — when I found out the second person was joining the first person to run another organization, I prayed.
I prayed that God would bless both of them.
I prayed that their new business would experience radical success.
I prayed that their families would be blessed by the fruits of their labor.
I prayed that they would both flourish.
I have a business to lead. Change is not fun, not what I would choose, and not what I want.
But it is reality.
Now I end this post with a renewed sense of purpose. My energy is positive. It will take faith, and gratitude, to keep it positive.
As I pray regularly, I will pray to close now…
Let Your will be done, Lord.
Even when it hurts.
Even when I would prefer otherwise.
Help me choose love nevertheless.
Help me be for people and not against them.
Even when it hurts.
Especially when it hurts.
Thank you that it does hurt, Lord.
I love these people.
I want the best for them.