Series Introduction
It has become my annual tradition to write birthday letters to my kids on this blog. I was recently traveling on a business trip, and my mind turned to this year’s letters.
My kids have so many attributes that I admire and treasure. This reminded me of Paul’s writing in Galatians about the “Fruits of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23). As Paul teaches, these become evident in people when they abide in the Spirit of God. Or, in modern words, when our charger is connected to God, we are powered by him to display the attributes Paul refers to.
I am totally biased and bragging, but God has produced these fruits in my kids. Therefore, in this year’s letters, I will identify three fruits that come to mind for each child. Before beginning, here is the scripture to keep in mind while reading these letters:
[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. — Galatians 5:22-26 NIV
Dear Will,
I am writing this letter shortly after watching you play five baseball games over 48 hours. The next day, you walked 18 holes in a golf tournament despite the heat and humidity. Your energy reminds me of my own a long time ago, and now I can only stand in admiration.
As Mom and I tell all three of you, your performance on the field does not matter all that much. You can strike out 100 times in a row, and we will not love you any less. Or, you can strike out 100 batters in a row, and we will not love you any more. As you age, I pray that you own this lesson: Unconditional love has zero conditions.
And continuing on the theme of thinking about the Fruits of the Spirt, here are three fruits God has given you in abundance…
Patience
Your patience has stood out during the baseball season this year. Despite success with your in-house team, you weren’t pitching in your all-star games. While I was frustrated, you seemingly were not. You stuck with it. When I asked whether you were frustrated about hitting lower in the lineup, your response was mature: “I have not gotten any big hits yet, so I should be in the lower part of the lineup for now.”
You were not dissuaded. You continued to show up and work at practices. Because of this, one of your coaches took a liking to you and began working with you on pitching. He taught you how to throw a “cutter” and advocated for you to get pitching opportunities. As your father, what I liked most about this was that I had nothing to do with it — this didn’t come as the result of me having some kind of talk with the coaches. It came because you were patient and hard-working.
Fast forward to this past weekend, and there you were, closing out the first playoff game and throwing three scoreless innings in the second. You also had multiple big hits. Your patience was rewarded!
Kindness
Perhaps the most remarkable fruit you possess is your kindness. You can leave an all-star baseball game, come home and shower, and then play with your sister in a way that meets her where she is. This flexibility teaches me that I need to be the kind of man who meets people wherever they are, regardless of what I have going on. Your play with her also has a sense of freedom and joy that is instructive. My prayer for you is that you never lose this. Don’t “grow up” in this area. Instead, let your inner child continue to adulthood.
The other reason I think about your kindness is twofold. First, I think it is one of the defining features of your mother and something you have shared with her since you were born. Secondly, it is what I hear about you from your coaches. In fact, when you accidentally tossed your bat running to first base in an in-house league game in June, your coach told the opposing coach, “I know Will did not do that on purpose. He is the kindest kid on our team.” That was a “home run” for your mother and me.
Self-Control
While your kindness reminds me of your mother, your self-control (and discipline) remind me of myself. I can come home from lunch and know that you’ll be doing what you must to get your schoolwork done. Whether it’s Latin, science, or math, it doesn’t matter. I also know that you’ll practice baseball and golf with a commitment to excellence.
However, one aspect of your self-control that I can learn from is your ability to stay cool in the moment. Whether you are pitching in a late-inning of a tournament game or playing in a golf tournament, you exhibit an outward expression of self-control and confidence. Potential results do not intimidate you. Rather, you just throw the next pitch or make the next shot. I admire this — and aim to embrace it in my own golf game and at work!
One Last Reminder…
One thing I have fought — and had to learn time and time again — is that my identity is not based on my performance. Honestly, at my worst, I am killing myself on the inside for missing the putt in golf, saying the wrong thing at work, and failing to lead our business to the success I know we can obtain. This is the downside of self-drive, determination, and discipline.
The reality is that no amount of good work will ever save me or give me a lasting feeling of success and significance.
I have discovered that Paul was right when he said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9.
In this famous passage, Paul reminds the church of Corinth that human weakness (Paul’s thorn in the flesh) provides the ideal opportunity for the display of God’s power.
Failure and weakness are inevitable. No amount of self-control, kindness, or patience will deliver you from this. Only Jesus will. And only with Jesus will you be able to exhibit these fruits amid weakness and failure. Doing so is maturity.
The point is that regardless of your ability to do this, and despite the inevitable slip-ups, mistakes, and losses, your mom and I love you.
There are no conditions.
Love,
Dad