Leadership

Many organizations—ours included—hire outside consultants occasionally to assess their overall health. But observant leaders can analyze small behaviors and get a pretty good idea on their own.

Here are three examples:

How do people park? Are they parking like I do when I go to a sporting event, with an “easy out” mindset? Does that correlate to how hard they work during the day? Are they already thinking about how quickly, and how easily, they can get out of here?

Where do people sit? Recently, I was in one of our meetings and two people from one part of the business sat across the table from two people on another side of our business. I could sense conflict, that they weren’t all on the same page. And guess what–they weren’t.

What language do leaders use? I sometimes hear leaders use personal pronouns in describing what they are up to: “I did this,” with emphasis on the “I,” as if they deserve all the credit for progress. Or, sometimes language passing on decision-making: “YOU need to decide what we are to do,” as if no responsibility falls to the leader saying this. “Extreme ownership,” or personal accountability, is all about owning your responsibility, and not blaming others. To be sure, it still matters. But these comments are indicative of problems with their leadership. No one, after all, can do things entirely on their own (this week’s #TheoThursday is also about language – the use of profanity – stay tuned!).

Leadership is about awareness that leads to action. The leader needs to connect with, and lead, the person thinking just about “getting out of here.” The leader needs to bridge the gap between the two teams in conflict. And the leader also needs to lead themselves well, especially in modeling appropriate language. They should always share praise, and always accept blame.

As Pastor Andy Stanley says, “pay attention to the tension.” Being aware of the tensions present in the organization is the job of leadership.

Leading the organization toward resolving these tensions will help the organization become healthier.

Challenging truths for life and leadership.

This week’s truth is simple, and yet profound:

Everyone leads, and everyone is led.

Let that sink in.

For you can’t lead, if you are unwilling to follow.

Challenging truths for life and leadership

I heard the following quote during our church service this weekend:

“Leadership is about disappointing your own people at a rate they can absorb.”

Notice, leadership is not about being popular.

Rather, it is about taking people from their comfort to their discomfort.

From “here” to “there.”

Which, will eventually disappoint them.

You can read more about this idea here.

I’m suspicious when I hear mottoes like these:

Fail fast!

Fail often!

Failure is a good sign!

We need more failure!

Not all failure is created equal. Failure, after all, shouldn’t even be the focus.

Learning should.

Learn fast!

Learn often!

Learning is a good sign.

We need more learning.

See the difference?

The postscript:

An organization that never fails is also problematic. The point above is simply that we need to recognize that failure’s value is tied to learning. An organization proud to be “failing” when they are making simple mistakes is one headed for trouble. One whose prototype just “failed” because of an unknown circumstance, is on their way to success if they “learn” from that “failure.”

I recently heard Jay, and Wendy, Papasan interviewed on the Entreleadership Podcast. In the podcast, Jay delivered this #TuesdayT on goals:

“Most people know how to set goals, they just don’t know how to have relationships with them.”

Let that sink in this week.

And take your goals out for a date while you’re at it.

I believe in giving people I lead autonomy. I fear micromanagement. I trust people to perform, especially those that I know can.

That said, like everything else in life, too much of something is a bad thing.

In the written portion of my 360 review, completed in November, were these competing lines:

“Alex does not micromanage.”

“He needs to hold people more accountable at times.”

Welcome to the Dichotomy of Leadership.

Looks like I need to become a better leader!

As the authors argue in the book mentioned above, too much autonomy leads to all sorts of problems in an organization: Too many leaders, or people who feel like they can set the direction, poor execution (hence, the autonomy criticism), and silos (people so “free” that they don’t feel the need to consult with other groups).

(Note, micromanaging leads to several problems as well. So, it is by no means the answer).

My failure was not clearly outlining what the mission was. Sure, direct reports knew what I expected to a degree. But they had latitude. They had freedom to focus on several initiatives, rather than clarity on the mission the COMPANY needed them to execute.

Worst, they had the freedom to delay.

To counteract this, and to create the organizational clarity, I am spending time writing KRAs (Key Result Areas) that outline (bluntly), what the focus should be, and when things must be accomplished.

As the leader, it is my job to construct the game-plan and ensure that the team is focused, and executing it. What distinguishes this kind of leadership from micromanagement is that it still empowers the individual the to execute the mission in a way that aligns to their strengths.

With clarity on the mission, it is also easier to hold people accountable.

The fact that things were, to a certain extent, “murky,” last year, is one of the reasons I received the criticism stated above.

Lesson learned.

Onward.

I had to cancel lunch with a friend of mine last week.  Her response was enlightening:

“Give yourself the time back. Even if you just take it for yourself.”

Today’s truth:  Leaders rest.

It is that simple.

Find time to rest this holiday season.

I will do the same.

The truth: Leaders shouldn’t strive to be popular. Legends became legends by sacrificing popularity for the sake of doing what was right.

Who was the most unpopular President of all-time? Gallup might list several modern Presidents, but what about Abraham Lincoln? How many other Presidents saw half the country secede from the Union?

Martin Luther King Jr. was also not very popular when he was assassinated in 1968. In fact, according to a Harris poll, 75% of Americans disapproved of MLK in 1968.

Yet, how many leaders would list either Lincoln or MLK as leaders they would like to emulate?

The truth is we will never emulate them seeking popularity.

Leadership always challenges status-quo, and always initiates positive change.

The reality is that these things are never popular.

The reality is that resistance always follows.

Lincoln saw emancipation as non-negotiable.

MLK envisioned “the city upon the hill,” where children of all races played together.

Neither were willing to compromise.

Neither gave in to the resistance.

Both were assassinated because of it.

And both are legends today because of the change they initiated.

Leadership has never been a popularity contest.

A buddy of mine recently told me about his experience at Marine Officer Candidate School. 

“The drill instructor would get on us if we tried to help other officer candidates carry their gear.  We had to lead ourselves first.”

What would change in your life if you led yourself first?

Would you spend your time differently?

What would you stop?

What would you start?

Let’s not misapply the lesson above.  Officer Candidate School is training.  In an actual battle, there may come a time where a leader has to carry the load for a time.

But, notice that this is momentary.

Nobody is effective carrying the load forever. As the clock turns toward the end of another year, now is a good time to reflect on everything you are carrying.

What needs to change for you?

If your pace is not sustainable, change course before it’s too late.

Lead yourself first.

Most people fail to set goals because they don’t begin the goal-setting process early enough. Here is a way to avoid that:

1. Open up a blank note on your iPhone. If you don’t have an iPhone, a sheet of paper will do fine.

2. Think about themes: Faith, Marriage, Family, Work, Health. Begin scribbling down generic goals in those areas.

3. Create 10-15 of these total.

4. Don’t feel like you need to finish today, but don’t over think these either. You are brainstorming!

5. Revisit this list throughout the month of December. Give yourself time to think, revise, and commit.

6. When you’re ready, commit to your goals. But remember, they can always be revised in 2019. Like any Waze directions, a new route may become advisable along the journey.