Leadership

Emails were bouncing around despite it being a Friday night. One report, one response, the downward spiral had begun. Selfishly, I was both annoyed and angry. I was ready for the week to be over, and frankly speaking, I was ticked off that this couldn’t wait till Monday.

Instead of throwing gasoline on the fire, I decided to wait till Saturday morning to respond. So, the next morning I began crafting the ultimate email response as I sipped my morning coffee. At first the response was too stern, so I edited it until it sounded somewhat polite. I read it aloud. Would this be okay if everyone in the company saw it, I asked myself? I assured myself it would.

Then a quiet voice in my head reminded me that Abraham Lincoln often wrote letters that he never sent. I have even written about this practice before, but would I have the discipline to follow it?

Instead of sending the email, I sent it to myself and filed it away in a “do not send” outlook folder. If things were terrible Monday, I thought, I could send the email then. Or even better, I could call a face to face meeting.

The first primary benefactor of this decision was my family. Instead of being around a grumpy, stressed out husband/dad all weekend, Sarah and the kids got a better version of me. The process of writing down my thoughts and sending them to MYSELF (no one else has seen them still) had that strong of an impact on me. It was almost as if I had worked the stress out of my body.

Meanwhile, my teammates were oblivious to my frustration, and even my anger. They didn’t receive a weekend email, and were free to have a break, which allows them to refresh and be at their best for the work week.

By Monday, things had already calmed down. One of the sales people involved admitted that they had not only overreacted in the Friday email they sent, but they also now see the other individual’s point of view. By the middle of the day, it seemed like the “conflict” was over and done with. Everyone had moved on. Would that have been the case if I had thrown gasoline on the fire?

Several weeks later, no one is even talking about this situation anymore.

Do yourself a favor and create a “do not send” file today. As leaders, we are going to occasionally say or write the wrong things. This won’t resolve that. But it will be another safeguard against such occurrences.

We just have to form the discipline to use it.

When I was playing competitive golf in high school, my dad would advise that I needed to get off the practice tee and play. While “practicing” had its place, his view was that playing was what mattered most.

You can’t simulate real-life experience.

I have thought about that lesson a lot so far this year. In a business sense, there are ample opportunities to “practice:” Books, seminars, conferences, podcasts, classes, etc. While I participate in many of these, and while I would never steer someone away from such activities; the fact remains that leadership happens when you actually lead other people.

This means you stop reading the book, and start walking the floor.

This means you turn the podcast off, and call a team member to talk (remember when we talked?).

This means you stop writing the blog, and pay attention to the sales person that just walked into your office (hello, Tammy).

You can’t simulate real-life experience.

Lead now.

I have noticed an alarming trend in society, and even in our business, that can be summed up by what a recent retiree said to me in their exit interview: “It seems like a lot people are waiting for everyone else to do THEIR job.”

I can relate to this comment, and unfortunately at times in my life, I also have given into the temptation to voice all the problems I see in the world without putting in much effort into fixing them.

It is easier being the expert without absorbing the blows of leadership. For instance, it is easier pointing out all the things your favorite team’s general manager should be doing differently than actually being the one making the calls. Or, it is easier to point to all the things your local church should be doing differently, than serving and being part of that change.

And in the context of business, it is easier pointing out all the things the company should be doing differently rather than leading that change yourself.

Leaders always fix problems. They may get it wrong, they may screw things up even more, but they do SOMETHING.

Waiting on the world to change?

Change it then.

Otherwise, stop whining about it.

Earlier this year, I was afforded the opportunity to hear filmmaker Jon Erwin talk about storytelling. His discussion of a concept I had never heard of before, called “emotional jamming,” is what stood out the most. “Emotional jamming,” as Erwin defined it, is how a narrative creates disorientation between one’s heart and head. This disorientation opens up the possibility for one to change their mind about a particular topic.

Shawshank Redemption is arguably my favorite movie of all-time. It is filled with “emotional jamming,” as the audience is forced to reconsider their views on such topics as prison reform, the abuse of power, and even biracial friendship. For instance, whatever one’s prior views towards incarceration may be, the film’s story creates disorientation on this topic: Andy Dufresne may be at Shawshank unjustly, but what about the gang that tortures Andy at the beginning of the film? Or, what are we to make about Red’s (Morgan Freeman) admission to guilt, and eventual release from prison after serving 40 years of a life service? Not to mention his, or Brooks Hatlen’s, lonely and challenging life on the outside after being released, or Red’s commentary on “rehabilitation.”

The power of Shawshank Redemption, or any film, lies in its ability to change the way we feel. As Erwin reminded the audience in his talk, people tend to make decisions emotionally, and then back up those decisions rationally. Thus, the true power of story is in its ability to tug on our emotions, and open us up to change. Shawshank Redemption is memorable for its ability to do this. And if you have seen the film, I suspect you can remember certain emotions you had watching the film just by remembering some of the scenes in the paragraph above.

As you probably have guessed already, I believe story-telling to be an absolutely critical aspect of leadership. The temptation for the leader, especially in vision-casting, is to begin by sharing all the facts about why whatever needs to change needs to change. If people tend to make decisions emotionally, shouldn’t we lead rather with storytelling and let the facts follow after? Please hear me, this doesn’t mean that the facts do not matter. They always do! But the power of facts is limited until people’s emotions have allowed them to be considered.

The power of story is in its ability to create the disorientation between the head and heart that is necessary for change to occur.

Therefore, as leaders we would be wise to use its power!

Accountability is like getting a colonoscopy (so I am told!): Everybody knows it is best to have it done, yet no one wants it done to them.

As I have shared before, I went through a 360-degree review last fall. Those interviewed suggested that I hold other people more accountable. Since receiving my results right before Christmas, I have made a concerted effort to do so.

Here are some take-aways about holding other people accountable:

-I need accountability in all areas of my life, even in the area of holding other people accountable.

-Holding people accountable means first explaining what “success” looks like. Without crystal clear expectations, it is not only difficult to hold others accountable—it can be downright unfair.

–The tendency is for people to want someone ELSE to hold OTHER people accountable. Thus, starting to hold people accountable begins with earning their trust.

-I can give anyone a title, but leadership is earned. This makes all the difference in accountability, because management often only creates change through policies, corporate discipline, and the like. It is change by “force.” But a good leader can impact someone’s entire life through influence. This means everything in accountability. If someone is only listening because they have to, real change is limited, and short-term.

-Accountability NEVER discounts the value and dignity of the human-being. In fact, the most humbling lesson I have learned is that the opposite, not holding someone accountable, is unkind, and even unloving. It is akin to saying to yourself, “I value my own comfort over the other person’s improvement as a person.”

This is only a sampling of what I have been learning.

If you consider yourself a leader, start by asking someone to hold you accountable. Then, work to create the trusting relationships with your followers that ensure them that you have their best interests in mind.

Once this kind of relationship is established, dive in. It is never easy, but I can promise that it is worth the effort.

Leadership is about listening.

In the manufacturing context, this means that you should be approachable to anyone on the plant floor. You might not agree with the feedback, it might even irritate you, but you should listen to it.

Even if people feel the need to chew you out, let them.

Recently, I had this experience as people gave me feedback for the family’s decision to shutdown the facility for twenty-four hours on a Wednesday due to unprecedented cold temperatures (-30F). Some of our third shift team-members were upset because, in order to make up their two lost shifts, they worked Friday and Saturday nights. They could take those days as vacation, but that decision would inevitably be left to the discretion of their managers. The company needed enough team members present to run the facility to ensure that orders were completed and our customers experienced minimal effects from the shutdown.

Of course, our family considered the inconvenience of team members having to work both weekend days. We suspected that some may have pre-existing plans, or simply want the break that exists in the rhythm of a normal work week. But this wasn’t normal! In fact, this shutdown was only the second in our sixty-six-year history! The most important factor for the family was the well-being, and safety, of each team-member arriving at work around midnight, and departing the following morning a little after 8 a.m. According to the National Weather Service, these were the most dangerous times. Thus, we felt the safest decision was for our team-members to be home. Not only did this keep them out of the elements, but it also allowed them to be home with loved ones in case something went wrong in their home – bursting pipes being a fear realized by many

Chicagoans because of the unprecedented low temps.

Walking through the facility a few days later –on Saturday morning — I began receiving mixed feedback:

“My car would have started perfectly fine,” someone informed me. “You guys should have given us a vacation day, instead of making us work all weekend.” Another person simply said, “thank you.” Another said, “I don’t understand why we shut down. You should pay us extra for working all weekend, even if it just makes us whole for the week.” And another questioned, “Did you even consider people having to work all weekend?”

I listened.

I honestly felt bad. But, the job of the leader is to do what’s best for the collective whole, not the opinionated few.

And, as I mentioned above, people feeling the need to chew me out comes with the territory.

I take it as a sign that everyone feels like they can talk to the family.

I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Have you or your team ever misquoted a job? What do you? Do you refuse to own up to the contract? Do you run the job at a loss?

About three years ago, we took on some work from a customer whose molds were at a company in distress. Unfortunately, the pricing we offered wasn’t sustainable. So, in retrospect, we should have owned up to that, even passed on the whole project, instead of offering the aggressive pricing we did. The return has been negative for the last two plus years. As this example shows, we screwed up, and I allowed it!

But we have also lived up to our word.

Maybe we should draw the line in the sand? I know that’s what the business books I read would tell me to do. I don’t even want to think about the advice in negotiation books I have read.

But I don’t want us to be like that. Three years in to this project, we are now increasing the price slightly to get closer to break-even, and of course, the customer is upset. So am I. But our team has done everything it can to honor our agreement and serve this customer, even accepting a loss on our end. We are being transparent with our pricing because we want to prove honest and trustworthy.

And we appreciate beyond words when others are honest with us. In the midst of this experience, I had a sales call from someone that reads this blog. Without giving too much detail in order to preserve confidentiality, this person came to our team and let us in on details that he knew would change our decision to buy. He was willing to lose the sale for the sake of his reputation and long-term relationship with us. He wanted to be true to his word.

As leaders, our word is challenged every day. I challenge you to keep yours.

Even if you lose a sale.

Even if you run business at a negative margin, at least for the time being.

These financial costs are temporary. They are recoverable.

But once your trust is lost, it is gone forever.

Challenging truths for life and leadership

This week’s truth comes from Jocko Willink:

“Losing your temper is a sign of weakness.”

Leaders are self-controlled.

“Losing it” is always weakness.

I’ll own that I am occasionally weak. What about you?

Self-awareness demands an honest assessment. It is where improvement begins.

Honestly assess your demeanor this week.

Stay self-controlled in the heat of battle.

I highly recommend the two books Jocko has written with Leif Babin:

Extreme Ownership

The Dichotomy of Leadership

When your team pushes back against one of your ideas, do you hear negativity or constructive criticism?

Let me take you into the Bald in Business headquarters — my home. It’s the place where my wife, Sarah, and I often contrast as a team. Like any couple raising a family, we often share opposing views on decisions that will impact our children. I tend to lead with enthusiasm, while my wife can be a bit more thoughtful in her approach. I’m willing to spend money and she is more apt to stick to the budget.

What causes tension in any team dynamic is the fallacy of taking rejection of your ideas as misconstrued resistance. Trust me, I often think long and heard about an idea before approaching Sarah about it at home. So, when I get to the right moment to run it by her, it’s a developed idea that has been given life (which explains why I am more excited), and when she raises questions, I can hear resistance and sometimes even negativity. I might think, “maybe she is just resistant to change,” or “maybe she is just risk-averse?”

Rejection of ideas can easily be misconstrued.

I have written previously about “overcoming the resistance,” which is absolutely an issue in organizational life. People, by and large, fear change. So yes, leaders have to keep trudging on when their followers are resisting.

But that doesn’t mean that all push-back is “resistance.”

Sarah questioning the purchase of something luxurious, like a golf-simulator for the basement, would be legitimate push-back because a golf-simulator is not in our budget (although it should be!). Thus, she isn’t being resistant, or even negative, when questioning that. Even more, she is being a loving wife by helping me make sound financial decisions.

Resistance comes later, when the evidence has been weighed, and action has begun. It often is inaction, when action is demanded. Or, simply negativity around the change in general.

But, “push-back” is different.

“Push-back” means people are looking for clarity. Or, that they still have questions and concerns that need to be addressed. Or they simply want to learn more.

Misconstruing these questions as people being “resistant or negative” is intellectually lazy and comes across as bullheaded. Clarifying questions can help you, and the organization, improve. The leaders that lean into the “push-back” will undoubtedly end up making better decisions in the end.

… another reason why I’m thankful for my loving wife.

Challenging truths for life and leadership

This week’s truth is simple to understand, but hard to implement:

Leaders genuinely apologize when they screw up.

For example, I used sarcasm yesterday in a meeting to make a point. While I still believe in the point I was making, my sarcasm embarrassed another leader in the room.

In retrospect, I should have not used sarcasm and had a private conversation with the leader. In essence, my behavior was abusing the power the position gives me.

I was 100% wrong in doing this.

Thus, I needed to apologize.

So, today I sought out this individual and apologized to them.

This experience reminded me that I need to choose my words wisely. And when I don’t, I need to own my actions.

I need to apologize.

Is there someone you need to apologize to?