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iceberg in blue water

Do this ONE thing to help with Emotional Health

A year ago, my Executive Coach challenged me to read Pete Scazzero’sThe Emotionally Healthy Leader.” It entirely rocked my world, and challenged me to get in touch with my feelings.

I know. I feel like I need to do something manly after writing that last statement – maybe some push-ups or something? But let’s face it: Leaders need to deal with their feelings or deal with the repercussions of their feelings dealing them a blow.

Since reading his book, I have begun listening to Pete Scazzero’s weekly podcast, and will be slow reading (i.e. taking my sweet time) his “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” best-seller.

Enough background, but what I am about to share is directly from Pete Scazzero. He calls this “the gift of exploring the iceberg.”

Here is the ONE thing to help with Emotional Health:

Journal (hand write answers) to the following questions:

  1. What are you mad about?
  2. What are you sad about?
  3. What are you anxious about?
  4. What are you glad about?

Join me in repeating this exercise daily through the COVID-19 crisis.

Enough reading my thoughts. Use this time to get real with yourself and how you feel.

Do some pushups if you have to as well.

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covid 19 model

Not Another COVID-19 Post

If you have opened this blog post up, I would encourage you to stop reading it. In fact, set aside the next 30 minutes, or 30 minutes sometime today, to just be still and silent.

Some of you are rolling your eyes, and that is fine.

But as leaders, we need to be still and quiet in order to collect our thoughts on what is happening.

We need to time to think and gain perspective.

This is true when things are flourishing, and even more so when things are not.

Some prompts to think about:

What does this experience make possible?

Who do I need to connect with?

How do I feel?

Am I angry, frustrated, or sad?

What am I (still) thankful for?

What support do I need?

What’s the next best thing I need to do?

30 minutes…

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young person touching a globe

3 Ideas to Help Interpret the News

Given the current crisis we find ourselves in, I have been spending a lot of time-consuming news. I have also have observed many perfunctory comments about the news, especially as COVID-19 attempts to take-over our lives. So, given that we all have a little more time on our hands, here are 3 ideas to help interpret what is going on right now (i.e. what we normally refer to as “the news”).

First off, if you take nothing else from this post please understand that every news outlet has bias. Every human being, myself included, has a bias. This does not necessarily make the news “fake,” but it could be “spun” to suit someone’s worldview. This is why interpreting the news is important.

My news outlet of choice, the Wall Street Journal, is probably best characterized as “right” economically” and “middle” socially. So, it is best that I read the news with the appropriate context in mind – more on that in point #2 below. Before going there, however, please consider that almost all “media” is FOR PROFIT and needs consumers to continue to exist (especially T.V. News stations, podcasts, and even newspapers). I do prefer newspapers because they are “slow news,” meaning reporters actually sit down, write, and are edited (most of the time) prior to the publishing deadline.

Second, check alternative sources. As I said above, my news choice is the Wall Street Journal. But I also sign up to the New York Times “daily briefing.” The NYT is, arguably, “left” of the WSJ, so I like to check in on what they have to say. This gives me more information to think about. If you prefer podcasts, there are thousands of pods out there. So, I’d challenge you to listen to one that makes you feel a little uncomfortable, rather than one that simply reinforces your bias.

Third, and here is where I probably differ from conventional advice given on this topic, I (rather passionately!) believe that one needs to be a student of history to interpret the news well. This means reading/listening to thoroughly researched historical books. I cannot emphasize this enough, and the fact that many Americans (adults and children) do not know much about our history is the one thing that makes me feel pessimistic about our future as a country. Thankfully, this can be easily changed. In fact, while you have extra time —and we all have extra time right now —I implore you to read one good history book. Just one! Start with a David McCullough book, or something else, it does not matter. Learning from the past, helps place current events in their appropriate context.

I have gone on long enough on this impromptu post. I implore you to remember media is biased. Chew on what you read, meaning think before you react. Think! Use your brain. And by all means, understand where we have come from, how we got here, and why it matters.

p.s. I am currently finishing up Erik Larson’s The Splendid and the Vile. I highly recommend this to leaders during COVID-19. May we lead with the courage of Churchill!

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difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations sign

Discipline is Elementary

Depending on where you live, winter can be a difficult time to stay energetic and motivated. Cloudy days and cold temperatures can leave people feeling lethargic and unmotivated.

After a week long trip to Europe in January, I found myself struggling with all the things mentioned above. I simply was not on my “A” game. But then I remembered how John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, would start every season teaching his team how to tie their shoes properly to avoid injury. He did this because discipline is elementary, and discipline matters to performance.

Elementary school also works best when lessons are repeated frequently. The alphabet, multiplication tables, and just about every kind of elementary learning are repeated until they take root in our early years. Somewhere along the educational journey, however, a mindset shift occurs and repetition no longer seems necessary.

When I found myself in the rut mentioned above, I was saved by an appointment on my calendar entitled “weekly review.” This 30-minute time is there for me to review the following:

  1. My goals for 2020
  2. My personal Key Results Area (KRA)
  3. My Rule of Life
  4. My next week (I outline tasks, declare what my top 3 objectives are, and sharpen focus around them)

There is not a week that goes by where I feel like I have adequate time to do this. Yet, I have come to discover that in actuality, I don’t have time NOT to do this. For, it always reorients me back to what matters.

My encouragement to you this week is to identify what disciplines you need to review on a weekly basis. Schedule these because they will not happen otherwise. And don’t fret about how elementary they feel because discipline starts with the basics.

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3 young children

Reframing Performance to Controllable Measures

One of my concerns as a father is how much our children tie performance to the love Sarah and I have for them. For instance, do we still love them when they strike out in little league? Or do we love them when their teacher points out a flaw in their school work? Of course the answer is a resounding YES, but do they understand and accept this?

The boys are currently eight and six respectively, so part of our almost-nightly winter routine is a fun game of floor hockey in our unfinished basement (in the summer it is whiffle ball outside!). In our games I have observed both boys seeking my approval when they make a good play. I have also noticed them sulking when they miss out on a play. They are competitive and work hard to beat me, but I don’t let them win —although I do let the six year old have some “freebies” when he needs some encouragement. My goal has been to drive home the reality than in sports and life you win and lose.

Because of this, winning has become a big deal to them when it happens. It has also come at a cost. For neither of them naturally handle losing well —yet. While this may be somewhat of a good thing —it produces a competitive spirit in them to get better and improve —it also is something that, as their dad, I need to help them learn to do well because life involves losing. In fact, as I have come to learn myself the hard way, basing one’s worth on performance is foolhardy because the moments of triumph are much less frequent than the moments of losing.

This is obviously hard for young kids to understand. If I am honest, it can also be hard for me to understand.

The combination of the boys looking for my approval when making good plays, and them sulking when losing, led me to create some controllable performance metrics to ingrain in them. I told them that these three things (I did not call them metrics!) were what matter to me. I share here because I think they are worth our — grown up business leaders — consideration. They are:

Safety

Effort

Fun

I explained to the boys that every sport they play needs to involve safety. Thinking from an organizational leadership perspective, I started here because safety has to be present for people to thrive. This is true in T-ball and what we do at Hoffer Plastics. Safety is paramount, and I want this to take root in them.

Effort comes next because it is the only controllable aspect of performance. Results are always a lagging measure. My belief is that they often do come when effort is there. Of course, they might not come on our preferred timeline (see my golf game), but they often do come.

I am driving the idea of effort into our boys because their default is to view my love in a positive outcome rather than in the effort. To drive this home, I have asked them if I would be mad if they struck out 3 times during a baseball game this spring, to which they both said “no,” as long as they were trying their best. Conversely, would I be upset if they got a big hit and didn’t run their hardest to first base? ”No,” our oldest chimed in. I then corrected this assumption to drive in the point that effort means running hard all the time. I could tell that this was surprising to him because he wants the big hit —don’t we all? Yet, this is the key distinction: effort > outcome.

Finally, life is short, and we need to make the best of it by having fun. This is true both in little league AND business. Yes, business! Fun involves having a positive attitude, being a good sport, and encouraging others. I also believe it comes in sequential order: Safety, Effort, and then fun because how can things be fun when we are not safe and/or trying our best? Fun also means laughing at our mistakes and picking others up when they make theirs. And in the context of youth sports, it means that if it is not fun, our family is not participating (Note to parents, I am driving this home to our kids because there is so much more to life than youth sports. I don’t care that “everyone else” is doing it. We are having fun, or not playing. Period).

I share these —safe, effort, and fun— because they are useful reminders to us leaders. For in order to be someone worth following we need to create environments where effort is the primary currency, and fun is a natural outcome of hard work cultivated in a safe working environment.

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man grabbing another man's hand

Should “trust” be earned?

I recently heard Jerry Hurley say that at his organization trust is given, but it can be lost. This is 180 degrees reverse of the usual platitude that “trust is earned, never given.”

From an organizational health perspective, this is a game-changer. If trust is given, the potential implications can be staggering:

– The tone of every email is read differently

– The person leaving early, or arriving late, is assumed to have a really good reason for doing so

– The new policy that sounds vindictive was not intended to be

And on and on…

We live in a grudge-oriented world, where heart disease is once again on the rise, and the overall health of Americans is in decline.

Giving people the benefit of the doubt won’t fix these problems. But, why not assume the best until assuming the best no longer makes sense?

As far as trust goes, it is not earned.

Trust is rather a gift one gives to another, who in turn gives it back to the other person. It is a mutual covenant built on reciprocity, assurance, and predictability. Reliability is what is earned. But it starts with the gift.

Let’s extend that gift to our team-members.

Check out my YouTube channel for a daily, Christ-centered, check-in that offer #leadership insight, #encouragement for the day, and a reason for #hope. Or, just check out today’s video here.

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beautiful sunset photo

Waning Daylight

I write these words after enjoying a 2 mile walk on a 50-degree sunny February day in Chicagoland. Not only is the sun out, there is not a cloud in the sky giving way to various shades of blue not seen in months around here.

My walk reminded me of precious memories as a child. I can remember countless days with friends —happy times no doubt — playing until the last crisp of daylight remained. Or, as was the case in the fall months, into the beginning darkness of night. Given modernity, and the constant presence of technology, I smile inwardly remembering there was not long ago a time where my mom could yell (not text) out the front door and somehow I would hear her call to get my butt home on the double. I confess missing the simplicity in that.

I also remember having a distinct feeling, maybe even longing, in those moments that those days would not end. Surely you can relate? These often happened at my friend Pete’s house. We’d play outside all day —football, basketball, games we would make up — and as the daylight waned, I’d long for it not to. I also remember a night when his dad, my dentist and second father-figure of sorts, was driving us to baseball practice and overheard all of us in the back of the car talking about growing up. Nick wanted to be an adult already. I, on the other hand, somehow had the wisdom to say out loud that I was in no hurry. Pete’s dad chimed in at this point and told us that I was right and that we should not be in such a hurry to grow up.

For reasons I cannot explain, I have been thinking a lot about that occurrence the last month or so. Probably because one of my focuses this year has been on “ruthlessly eliminating hurry” in my life, which has become an increasingly difficult challenge while traversing the reality of middle-age. Probably also because I went to the dentist in January and I always think of my old dentist this time of year because pancreatic cancer stole him from us too soon. Regardless of the reason, however, the reality is that life is often filled with waning daylight, and moments you would give more than you have to revisit.

The darkness of winter has this effect, doesn’t it?

But the beauty of 50-degree days in February is that there are actually 50-degree days in February! This goes for all days worth hanging on to. The longing for them to stay point to their worth, for many days are not worth longing for! In fact, many in February are not…

At this point you might be equally wondering whether I have gone off the reservation with this post and whether I am depressed. So here is the wrap up, the business takeaway, and the hope.

Every season will come and go. As this day comes to a close, I will get one sleep closer to the reality of two team members retiring this week. Waning daylight, indeed.

Like 50-degree days, both of these teammates are worth celebrating. One in particular made a lasting impact in my life through her guidance, and often patience, with me when I was a young sales guy. The other positively impacted our culture by showing up every day with a smile, and doing whatever was asked. Like a precious 50-degree day in February, I cannot adequately count the blessings both of these teammates leave us with. The business takeaway here is to celebrate each moment with the team you have because whether you realize it or not, waning daylight is all around you.

And I would be lying if I said I was not trying to grasp it just a little longer.

But like 50-degree February days, you cannot grasp waning daylight. So, here is the hope. The reason this post should not be read in a depressing manner is because of the hope that outlives hours, days, seasons, careers, and even light. As the prophet Isaiah wrote long ago, “Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end.” Isaiah 60:20

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old books on shelf

Your Health. Your Organizational Health

Here are some 6 quick ideas to think about regarding your health, and organizational health. I jotted these down while reading, podcasting, and reviewing previous leadership content in January.

(Note: I have also linked content that I recommend).

Before Edison invented electricity, the average person slept 11 hours per night (Credit: John Mark Comer).

There are people on your team that have solutions to problems that you don’t even know exist (Credit Craig Groeschel)

Clementine Churchill wrote to remind Winston Churchill to sleep at least 8 hours per night during the Great War (World War 1, when WC was First Lord of the Admiralty). He later slept 8 hours during WWII as Prime Minister.

If you want to be in charge of everything, be in charge of nothing. (Credit: Jocko Willink)

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety’ (Psalm 4:8).

“Our job as leaders is to grow people, not get our ideas heard.” Cameron Herold

Obviously, the topics above are sleep and leadership. Consider today how they go hand in hand. How, when you have slept well, you are someone worth following. And how, when you haven’t, you can be trite, short, and even grumpy.

When I am rushed, hurried, and tired, I often give those I love the most my worst. Ugh!

Leadership is about growing human beings, awakening the possibility in them, listening to them, and of course valuing them.

My contention today is that you cannot do that well without being adequately rested yourself.

So, go to bed a little earlier today so that you can be a little more gracious to those you lead.

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