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Over the next four posts I want to turn our attention to the essentials of leadership, starting today with accountability. Here is today’s assertion:

You cannot create a culture of accountability while being unaccountable yourself.

I write these words the morning I am going to lead a meeting to discuss what went wrong with a production plan. I am going to start that meeting off telling the group that the predicament we are in is ultimately my fault. I am ultimately accountable for Sales and Operations at Hoffer Plastics, so this is on me.

Without going into all the details of a private matter, I can share that while this is a fixable problem, it will be a costly one. I can also say that it is a situation where I was not directly involved in the process of deciding what action to take. Meaning, I did not make the call directly (emphasis on the word directly). I was involved in other ventures when this decision was made. After all, I cannot be involved in every venture and neither can you — so do not misread this post as suggesting to never delegate—I share this, however, to explain that even when the leader is not directly involved in the decision making process, they are still accountable for the action taken.

Before going further, let me pause to acknowledge the leader’s temptation in a situation like the one described above. The leader’s temptation is to give lip service to “Extreme Ownership,” and practice “Extreme Blame-Shifting.” For example, I could blame those directly involved in this situation for making an incorrect decision. After all, I was not directly involved. But, this is problematic on multiple levels: it puts me “above” the situation which indirectly hurts my credibility and trustworthiness. It also teaches the team that blaming others is acceptable and this only tempts them to blame others below them when things go wrong — and things always will go wrong at some point. All of this is unproductive and portrays poor leadership.

The other choice is to follow what I will refer to here as the thorny path of the leader. It is thorny and many leaders avoid it because it will hurt. But, someone has to take out a machete and forge a path forward, so should it not be the leader? I am of course referring to the path of “Extreme Ownership,” which is nothing less than extreme accountability. In the above situation, this path acknowledges the mistakes I made in leading the group. For example, I should have challenged the decision making process more than I did since one of our Sales people had voiced a concern about this change in plan. I should have also asked the team for a contingency plan, which would have safeguarded us from being in the predicament we are in today. These considerations, and I could list more, are more apparent to one not directly involved (but still directly accountable!). Putting these “should haves” aside, the accountability still stops with me. This means that I have to set the new course by hacking away at the thorns my failed leadership created. There is no other choice for the leader to make.

If you find yourself arguing with this level of accountability, I would invite you to reconsider your views of what the word means. Could it be that this kind of accountability is modeled so poorly by most leaders these days that we have had to add the word “extreme” in front of “ownership/accountability” to let many off the hook?

I hope this is not so with us. Accountability is accountability. Period. The buck stops with the one others follow. For leaders cannot create a culture of accountability without accountability starting first with them. There is no other way, as painful as it might be.

What I am about to say should be read with the knowledge that I believe every person reading this should consult with their doctor in regard to their own risk profile. We all have different health situations. With that being said…

COVID-19 should give leaders an edge.

It is the ultimate “us” vs. “them.”

Risk is always present. Driving to work, flying to Europe, investing in the new product line; all of this involves risk.

COVID-19 is also risky.

Some are paralyzed by this.

Others are thriving because they have an edge.

By edge, I mean a dogged determination and focus on doing the work they have committed to, and taking new ground. A perseverance that, come what may, they are continuing on.

For me it has involved not accepting excuses (either for myself or the team) and being present when being present has involved elevated risk. Maybe this led me to getting COVID-19 myself.

But, the cause was worth the risk for me.

Determine what the edge means for you. And by all means, start climbing the mountain in front of you – whatever that mountain is.

Many are stranded back at base camp waiting for the “all clear.”

I will let you in on a secret, an “all clear” is not coming. The weather app is calling for more stormy weather in the weeks and months ahead. No vaccine, politician, or policy is going to fix this mess. Besides, why wait for them anyway?

Leaders are held to a greater standard because they are responsible in times like these. There are perks that come with leadership, but now is the time when leaders pay the price of leadership. That means they mask up, put on all-weather boots, and trek out into the storm.

The worse the weather is, all the better, because it is GAME ON!

Before closing might I say, it is time for leaders to quit whining about Trump, Biden, and all the other things in their life they cannot control. People follow leaders because they do not spend time whining about uncontrollable variables in life.

Again, it bears repeating:

Whiners whine about all the things making their life hard.

Leaders busy themselves with getting up early, doing the work, and taking ground.

This isn’t to say it is easy to lead because it certainly is not.

It is just to say that leaders take ownership of their life rather than allowing outside forces to define them or their organizations.

Embrace the challenges in front of you. Get ticked off by them! Grind a little harder because of them!

This is the edge!

Let it fuel your leadership.

(Note: Feel inspired to lead? The next four Mondays I am going to be posting about some of the basics of leadership: accountability, vision, courage through conflict, and vulnerability. The upcoming posts will dive a little deeper into these topics and encourage you to become someone worth following.)

Not all gossip is created equal. Talking about someone’s personal life is unproductive, unhealthy, and divisive. It is a problem and should not be tolerated. But, this kind of gossip is not what I am going to talk about in today’s post. Today, I want to talk about when interpersonal conflict leads person A to process the issue, not with person B, but with someone else inside the organization (hypothetically person C). This may feel necessary to person A in order to get their thoughts straight, but, in reality, it is nothing other than socially acceptable gossip.

Socially acceptable gossip often originates from a manager’s inability or unwillingness to have a conversation with their direct report over an issue they have with them. Therefore, they talk about the issue with other managers or other people on the team, as they work up the courage to have the conversation. We can call this “processing,” but in reality it is still gossip, albeit the socially acceptable kind. This especially hurts a leader’s reputation when they engage in this kind of behavior because no one wants to follow someone talking about others behind their back.

I know the above to be true because in the past, I have struggled with this myself and, I am a lousy leader when I have. In fact, it has never been my intention to do it. I have always beaten myself up over it because I can easily keep things confidential when asked, and I don’t struggle with talking about other people’s personal lives (the other kind of gossip). But, I tend to process issues verbally, so I have found myself doing exactly what I have outlined above (talking to someone other than “B” about something going on). Doing this with someone outside of the organization, like an accountability partner or executive coach, can be helpful. This is especially true when they are willing to push back constructively. But, once again, that is not what I am talking about here. Here, I am talking about doing this with someone else inside the organization and that is wrong.

Why have I struggled with this?

I have come to discover that the answer (and it is not pretty) is that I do not love person B enough.

Let that sink in. You can change the word “love” if a different word suits your comfort level, but the problem here is one that goes to the heart. Put succinctly, do I love the person enough to have a direct conversation with them about whatever is going on rather than having the conversation indirectly with someone else? This is the question for today.

I have discovered that having the conversation quickly is important. Time tends to make the conversation more difficult in my mind, and time grows my hesitancy to do something that will inevitably be a little uncomfortable. The truth is that these conversations can be hard, and that doing the hard thing is the kind of things that make good leaders – and good managers – worth following.

In closing, how many people criticize leaders for having too many of these kinds of conversations? When, for example, have you heard someone complain, “I am leaving that company because the leader was always direct and transparent with me. I just can’t take it.” In reality, people often leave organizations because the leader did not have the guts to tell them what was wrong. While there are many other reasons why people leave organizations, this is one that is avoidable and it is one that leaders should avoid at all costs.

The point today is simple to understand, simple to do, and yet makes all the difference in our trustworthiness as a leader. Let’s love people enough to have any conversation directly with them and in turn, let’s root out all kinds of gossip in our organizations.

Like every other leader I know, my plan for 2020 was blown up when COVID-19 took precedence. Everything changed, including how I was to spend my time the rest of the year. Gone were major trade shows, in-person meetings, and speaking engagements. In was much more time at home and the office.

A few months into the pandemic I started to question my worthiness to the organization. While I was plenty engaged leading operational meetings, providing occasional insights to the sales team, and communicating frequently to the organization; I did not feel like I was leaving much of a mark in those areas.

This bothered me, so I sought guidance from my Executive Coach. On one hand, he reminded me how much of an adrenaline junkie I had become in years past chasing different sales opportunities and building one-on-one relationships. Perhaps what I was feeling was symptomatic to the loss of this, which admittedly was more “exciting” than the activities I was doing in 2020. On the other hand, however, he challenged me to think about the things I could do that no one else could or would do. Without giving me a concrete answer, he challenged me to think and pray about these things. He then challenged me to act on whatever I discovered.

What I discovered was that pandemic or not, the organization was asking me to start working “on” the business and not “in” the business —at least not all the time. This meant that while part of me was still mourning the loss of the “old” reality, I had to adjust my role to focus on what needed attention inside the organization. This meant handling all the things people complain about but either felt like they could do nothing about, or were simply unwilling to. I had to embrace doing the difficult.

I began to make mental notes of all the things I had been hearing our team talk, or even complain, about. I then began having direct conversations with people about things I was observing. While these conversations were almost always centered on soliciting the other leader’s help to address those problems, they were still sticky because they frequently dealt with problems underneath them. I soon discovered that a good judgement of when to have these conversations was what I was thinking about driving home at night. I reasoned that if I was thinking about certain topics while I was driving home, so was everyone else on our team. Was I going to wait for them to act, or was I going to lead? This question often gave me the courage to act.

My Executive Coach later helped me clarify that I should be involved when things were broken, new, or part of our brand. Obviously, all the above falls mainly into the “broken” category. That said, I think the order is intentional. Doing the difficult starts with me. I hope all the other leaders on our executive team feel the same way because it will take all of us doing the difficult to earn the excellence we seek.

I close by reminding that doing the difficult does not change culture overnight. In fact, I do not think the difficult things I have done the last few months are even visible, yet, to most of the organization. But the seeds being sewn now will one day blossom. Change is always slow and then sudden. So, I encourage you to do the difficult. For people love to follow those willing to do what they would rather not do themselves.

There is no pause button in life. Yet, 2020 has felt like there is. We have passed the point where I need to list all the examples of conferences, events, and trips being cancelled or moved. The pauses have made sense in most cases.

But as the summer months wore on, and as COVID-19 demonstrated it was not going away, the message I gave our team was that we had to hit the “un-pause” button. Life must go on differently — with social distancing, masks, and every other possible protective health measure we can take —but life must go on.

I met on consecutive days with our Plant Managers and Sales team in late July. We social distanced and wore masks because we were inside. But we met in person. The sales team even did dinner outside the night before our meeting. Before dinner, one of the sales team members secretly hugged me in the parking lot because she is such a rebel! Admitting all this may tempt you to judge, or even criticize, so rest assured I am not saying that you should do what I am doing. Nor am I making the argument that my actions are right. I am simply making the argument that the time has come to un-pause life.

The job of the leader in any season is to meet people where they are at, connect with them, and care for them. Unpausing is necessary because the health of people, and even businesses, is more than physical. Social distancing is wise, but social isolating is placing burdens on people they were not meant to carry. As relational beings, we need connection to thrive and that is why unpausing is no longer optional.

What this looks like for you, your business, and your home, is probably different than what it looks like for me. Maybe you are less comfortable hugging someone on your team than I am. That is absolutely okay. I am just asking every reader to stop buying into the morality argument being made by many that certain actions are either moral or immoral. While there is probably a list of behaviors all people can agree to in terms of the Pandemic, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. What works for our business might not work for yours. Same with our home. Can’t we appreciate the differences and leave it that without labeling or evaluating each other?

Leaders, I urge you to extend grace. This is gritty, novel, and what we know today might be wrong tomorrow. Therefore, our views need to be flexible.

And finally, we need to accept this new reality. Like it or not, it is here to stay. How long? I have no clue. So, it is best to hit the un-pause button, start living, and start leading your business towards the new frontier.