I’m kicking off 2026 by sharing a series of leadership lessons that have been especially impactful for me over the past few months. These are lessons I’m actively learning—or, in some cases, relearning. My aim is to help you examine your leadership and make any necessary adjustments.
Today’s lesson is this:
Don’t confuse quiet with better.
Here’s what I mean:
- You go to the doctor and learn that your blood pressure is up. So you make a few changes (for a while) but eventually drift back to old habits. You feel fine, so you assume everything is fine, because your body is quiet.
- Or you and your spouse experience a significant rift that neither of you is addressing. You both know it’s there, but avoiding it feels easier. You go out on a date night, and it feels like old times. Still, something deeper remains unresolved. Things are quiet, so you don’t talk about it.
- Or there’s a situation with your team at work. A few people raise concerns about what isn’t being done. You examine the issues, talk with other leaders, and things seem to improve—or so you think. Months later, you realize nothing actually got better. Things just got quiet.
Thankfully, I did take my doctor’s advice to heart, and I had the difficult conversations with Sarah. I can happily report that both my health and my marriage are “green” according to my success statements.
But in hindsight, I realized my leadership fell short. While I earned a green in my personal life, at work, my success statement was yellow.
Why?
Because I confused quiet with better.
In all of these situations, we lie to ourselves, assuming that the quiet will last. It never does. Eventually, things get loud—usually at the most inopportune time.
I’m not blaming anyone else for this failure. It wasn’t the circumstances or the people involved. It was my inconsistent leadership. To be someone worth following, a leader has to deal with what is uncomfortable, unclear, and frankly, unfun to address. That’s exactly what makes leaders worth following.
So here’s my encouragement to you:
Seek out what is quiet, and ensure you truly address whatever lies beneath it. Don’t assume it’s better. Make it better. That’s what leaders do.