When I think about you, the first thing that comes to mind is your joy for life.
This was tested very early on when you were diagnosed with RSV. Things got so bad that you were admitted to the hospital for five days. Mom would stay with you every night as I drove home to be with Will. It was the week before Christmas, the road was dark, and I was scared. Every time I sat behind that car’s wheel, I prayed for your health. I pleaded. I worshiped. I asked God to give me the strength to trust in the darkness. Obviously, you made it home. And it might have been the most special Christmas Eve of my life.
What I learned from that experience is worth sharing. First, there is no hope outside Jesus. In that moment, I had no control over the outcome. Of course, someone could argue that you got lucky and that the “world” just worked in your favor. I do not have enough trust in that kind of thinking. I trust in Jesus because, like making a mess of your LEGOs a few years later, I’ve sometimes made a mess of my life. I was wild. I looked for “fun” in places that led to pain. Then I was always surprised at my social circle’s disapproval of my actions, the same actions they had sold me on being “fun.” It made me feel discarded. But Jesus never discarded me. He accepted me when few outside my family would. This is grace.
As your father, I want to protect you from disease and mistakes. But these things are going to happen. You will have to choose for yourself what you believe in and who you trust. But I will always pray that you choose Jesus. And you should know that without Jesus, my life would be totally different from what it is today. There is no way that I would have ever married your mother outside of meeting Jesus first. Therefore, had I not met Jesus, you would not exist.
The other lesson I learned from you being in the hospital was about God’s love for His children. Some have wondered — how can God love everyone equally? As I drove home during the dark nights you were in the hospital, my heart throbbed with love for your mother. Her strength glorified Jesus. I longed for my little buddy (at the time) Will, and leaving you felt desperately difficult. My mind could not even conceive then, in December 2013, of the deep love I would have for Sadie in the future.
The point I am making is that I discovered Jesus really can love ALL his children — and so can I. As our middle child, you must know how deep and wide our love is for you. Who do we love the most? Yes, we love you all!
When I look at your future, I have no idea what you will do. The possibilities are endless. On one hand, I see so many similarities to myself. On the other hand, I see giftedness I have never had, like your ability to build things. When you put your mind to something, your potential is staggering.
To be clear, however, what you do in the future does not matter that much to me. You can become the most successful business person, builder, or sports announcer, and I won’t love you any more. You can be completely “mediocre” or do something the world pays little attention to, and I won’t love you any less.
What I do care about is the kind of man that you become. I pray that you love Jesus. I pray that you work hard, not for men or personal gain, but because you aim to glorify the Lord, and steward what he has given you. I pray that you are trustworthy and faithful. I pray you are the kind of man people know will do the right thing.
I also pray that you use your gift of talking to encourage others.
Finally, our recent conversation stands out and captures the essence of my last piece of advice. You were talking to me about how we would play together in a member/guest team golf tournament. You said, “The strategy would be simple. You (meaning me!) would hit the safe shot, and I would hit the aggressive shot.”
Ben, never stop being aggressive.
Aggressively pursue your goals and relationships.
And above all else, aggressively pursue Jesus.
Jesus will, in return, give you the abundant life.
I love you,
Dad