Series Introduction
It has become my annual tradition to write birthday letters to my kids on this blog. I was recently traveling on a business trip, and my mind turned to this year’s letters.
My kids have so many attributes that I admire and treasure. This reminded me of Paul’s writing in Galatians about the “Fruits of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23). As Paul teaches, these become evident in people when they abide in the Spirit of God. Or, in modern words, when we connect our charger to God, He powers us to display the attributes Paul refers to.
I am totally biased and bragging, but God has produced these fruits in my kids. Therefore, in this year’s letters, I will identify three fruits that come to mind for each child. Before beginning, here is the scripture to keep in mind while reading these letters:
[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. — Galatians 5:22-26 NIV
Dear Ben,
One of the moments I often recall happened when one of my friends came over to watch Game 3 of the World Series. He observed how you kept both your mom and me on our toes. You were just shy of your third birthday at the time, and quite frankly, you were determined to teach us to be more flexible in our plans for the night. My friend looked at me and said, “God knew you needed Ben in your life.”
Amen.
Like your siblings, there is so much to celebrate in you. What follows are three fruits of the spirit that God has gifted you in abundance:
Joy
The first thing that I think about when I think about you is joy. You find joy in so much of life: You are the first person on your baseball team to take the field — and by that I mean you run out of the dugout with excitement, delight, and in a full sprint. You are the first person to cheer for your teammates, and you do so with enthusiasm. And at the mention of ice cream, your face lights up like it is both your birthday and Christmas morning.
One of my favorite moments this past year was the morning I told you that Will’s baseball coach needed a replacement player and wanted you to “play up” with his team. Your reaction was like I was telling you that Dairy Queen was giving you free ice cream for a year! You were fist-pumping, running around the family room, and yelling, “Let’s GO!” I remember thinking to myself that I needed to file this moment away.
I later realized how much I needed to learn from this moment. I am the kind of person who thinks past the excitement and to the results, so often, my mind goes to all that might go wrong. It is not a healthy way to go through life, and you reminded me that morning that I need to take the opportunities when they come. I was proud of how you approached the game that night, and it was fun watching you excel on the field.
Goodness
Another defining characteristic about you is your goodness. Where this comes across most is in your inquisitiveness towards others. For example, I know that when you’re sitting with your uncle at a Blackhawks game, you will ask him 900 different questions. This is another thing I am learning from you as I often struggle formulating questions. You, on the other hand, fire away. Please never lose this. It is such a gift to nurture and further develop.
As the middle child, you often get pulled in two directions at the same time. This is another area where your goodness shines through. You can play Legos with Sadie and even entertain her by being funny at her level, and then go outside and play a game of football or golf with Will. I appreciate this, and so does your mother.
Faithfulness
When I think of Biblical faithfulness I think about how the spirit of God makes one trustworthy and reliable. Ultimately, this happens when we trust God and do what his word says. We trust it in the sense that we follow it — to the best of our ability and despite our imperfections — and, therefore, are faithful people.
I see elements of this in you. When you read God’s word, it is clear you are reading it to follow it. These seeds show up in how you treat your siblings and friends by being someone they can rely on. One of the things I appreciate is how you speak of your friends. I cannot recall criticism; I can only recall you talking about them positively. Carry this into adulthood, and others will describe you as faithful, trustworthy, and a genuine friend.
A Final Word…
You have so much potential. I naturally think that about both of your siblings as well and take zero credit for any of it. Rather, I think God has gifted you each uniquely and it is my job, along with your mother, to steward what he has given us.
With this, I have two specific prayers for you.
First, I pray that you and your siblings stay close. I pray that you learn from each other as well — I pray that you learn some of Will’s discipline to do hard things, and I pray that Will learns some of your inquisitiveness. I pray that both of you learn how to love like Sadie loves, and that Sadie learns from you and Will that men have self-control and are faithful. Finally, I pray that the joy you possess in abundance characterizes the relationship you all have for the decades to come!
Secondly, I pray that you root yourself in Jesus. I am not saying this because it is the “Christian thing to say.” I am saying this because I had (and on the wrong day, still have) an appetite for worldly things. That might have been ice cream at one point in my life, but as the years went on it ranged from girls to pleasure to success. None of it fulfilled. The more I sought my life, the more I lost it. The more I tried to find happiness in terms of how our culture defines it, the more I found myself hurt — or worse, hurting others.
I came to Jesus because I was desperate for life. More than a crutch, however, he was a Savior. I found what he said to be true. I also did a lot of research on the tomb, what happened after his death, and how his earliest followers mostly found similar deaths. I could not wrap my head around someone dying for something they knew to be false.
So, I made my decision.
I pray that you, and your siblings, make yours.
Regardless of what you choose, and regardless of what you do, I love you.
There are no conditions.
Love,
Dad