Special Post

Check out part one of my annual letter to my grandpa here.

Dear Grandpa, 

Recently, I took my dad and two boys to a Purdue basketball game. As we pulled into West Lafayette, dad started to reminisce about visiting his grandfather in West Lafayette as a child. Realizing the significance of the moment—it is not every day that my dad reminisces about the past—I asked dad if he wanted to go see his grandpa’s house? 

He did. I turned onto Grant Street and slowed the car as we approached your childhood home — what dad refers to as his grandfather’s house. The red brick house stood out against the small pile of snow on the lawn. Dad commented that Grandma would still be upset about the house next door, and then explained that she never wanted to sell the land it now occupies. He played games on that dirt, he said. The more he reminisced, the more I thought about how the dirt is the one thing that remains constant. My boys represent the fifth generation from your father, so it is natural that the neighborhood, and life for that matter, is now radically different. 

But the dirt remains the same.  

Buy Dirt

As Hoffer Plastics turns 70 this week, I have thought a lot about dirt. This is probably because of a country music song that keeps finding its way onto my playlist at the gym. Here are a few of its lyrics: 

A few days before he turned 80

He was sittin’ out back in a rocker

He said, “What you been up to lately?”

I told him, “Chasing a dollar”

And in between sips of coffee

He poured this wisdom out

Said, “If you want my two cents on making a dollar count

Buy dirt

Find the one you can’t live without

Get a ring, let your knee hit the ground

Do what you love but call it work

And throw a little money in the plate at church

Send your prayers up and your roots down deep

Add a few limbs to your family tree

And watch their pencil marks

And the grass in the yard all grow up”

‘Cause the truth about it is

It all goes by real quick

You can’t buy happiness

But you can buy dirt

When I hear these lyrics, I immediately think of you and your generation. I picture my Papa smoking a pipe outside his garage in Evansville, and I think of you tending your greenhouse in Elgin, and the word that comes back over and over is contentment. Your generation pulled up its bootstraps, worked, and “sent your prayers up and your roots down deep.” 

There are literal pencil marks in your old basement charting the growth spurts of two generations! 

The refrain I often hear from well-intentioned people is that they are leaving Illinois because of its unfriendly business climate, high taxes, and bad weather. I cannot argue with these challenges. But as last year wound down, the message I continually received from my prayers was:

Buy dirt. 

Different, But Not Unique

One of the moments that reoriented me last fall was driving by your house on the way home from a business trip. I think I mentioned driving by your house almost every year because it is always impactful. This time I realized that buying dirt was precisely what you did. You stayed in the same house from 1953 until the end. You refused to chase better when you were already happy. You embodied contentment. 

We moderns like to trick ourselves. We think things are particularly hard right now and that business challenges are unique to our generation. The word I like to use is “different.” Things are definitely different, but they are not unique. And regardless of external circumstances, we still walk on the same dirt you did. 

Obviously, I don’t know what the future holds. Today’s different circumstances may prove to be too much. There is no defeatism in me when I say these things; I am just pointing to the reality that nothing is assured. Well, nothing outside of time passing by and the dirt staying dirt. 

Rediscovering Hope

While some readers might find this reality depressing, I do not. As I shared last week, I rediscover hope every time I look into the eyes of the people who make up our team. I see the possibilities in the next generation, and they excite me. My task is to ensure that the seeds are planted, that the plants are tended, and the harvest is plentiful. 

I must tend the dirt as you did. 

There is a profound purpose in doing so. 

Until next year, I will keep watching the pencil marks of my kids’ growth grow, I will keep saying my prayers with Sarah every night, and I will keep digging our roots deeper and deeper into the community God has placed us in. I will do this regardless of how different things are, and even when those differences irritate and frustrate me. 

I will do this because that is our family history. Until God calls me elsewhere, I will tend to the dirt he has given us. 

You understood this. 

I am starting to. 

I miss you and love you, 

Alex  

Dear Grandpa, 

It is that time of year again when I think of you in anticipation of the remembrance of your birthday. While others like to think of those “up there” looking down on us, I don’t think that is the case. My hope is that “up there” is so amazing you wouldn’t give “down here” a look. But someday maybe I will tell you about these letters…

They do help me. They help me because as I talk to my Heavenly Father — as I often do in my head as I start to walk our production floor — I remember you. I remember your passion for the business we get to do. I remember how much you loved interacting with the people. I remember the sense of duty you had in helping the community and the industry. Remembering you gives me a renewed sense of energy. 

Looking for Contentment in All the Wrong Places

As I have already shared on my blog, I fell into a big rut last fall. I became self-absorbed. I was asking for my work to fill a void that it was never intended to fill. In my pursuit, I became irritable and discontented. Honestly, I was not a good leader. But as your example reminds me, leadership is about other people. It is about supporting them, giving them opportunities, and building into them. Frankly, I think we in contemporary America spend too much time fixated on ourselves. This is what I was doing last fall, and my sense of peace was shaken.

I had two speaking opportunities last fall. One was with MAPP (Manufacturing Association for Plastic Processors), the other for the TMA (Technology and Manufacturing Association). In both cases, I put a lot of effort into creating messages that would encourage the audience. I was prepared and did my best — I think you would have been proud. Still, I left both stages feeling like a fraud. 

To be clear, I didn’t feel like a fraud because of what I said. In both cases, I believed in (and, to the best of my ability, lived from) the convictions I shared. No, I felt like a fraud because of the discontentment I felt inside me. I had looked at these events to fill some void in me that they weren’t intended to fill. Instead, they exposed my vanity and desire for human approval. And no human affirmation was going to fill that void.  

I then came back to Hoffer Plastics looking for contentment. But co-leading a plastics manufacturing company only creates issues, not contentment! (I smile as I write this because I know you would understand.) Then, when I was at my worst and didn’t feel like walking our production floor, I had to walk past our mission poster with your face on it. It always kicked me in the behind and reminded me to keep going. 

I spent weeks in prayer about my discontentment, and it took weeks for things to change. One of the most effective prayers I pray is this: “Lord, please do not change my circumstances. Rather, help me to change for my circumstances. Because if you change my circumstances, I won’t learn what you are trying to teach me through my circumstances.” 

A Wake Up Call

A few moments stand out that are worth sharing. 

First, mom and dad were down in Florida at their condo, living through a category one hurricane. I am sure you would have something to say about that since you never had a condo, but stay with me. I was in one of my discontented moods grumbling about all the “have to dos” I have at the business. All of the sudden, Lizzie (she has worked on our floor for 52 years now!) asked me about my parents. “Alex, are they okay?” 

Of course they are, I replied. 

“OH GOOD. I was praying and praying for them with that hurricane.” 

Full stop. 

It had not dawned on me that Lizzie was asking about THAT. I thought she was just being polite. 

She continued. “You know, Alex, you all are part of my family.” 

Grandpa, that wrecked me. It jolted me awake from my vanity. It was God’s way of reminding me that the purpose of work is doing things with and through others, not providing me with contentment. In fact, the way to find contentment is to lose myself in the pursuit of others. 

I went home that night, and with Sarah, I prayed for forgiveness for my selfishness and self-centeredness. Like Jacob, that comment awoke me from sleep, and I echoed his thoughts that, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it” (Genesis 28:16). Of course, I was aware. But I needed to be reminded and this did it!  

My circumstances didn’t change in the weeks that followed. In fact, our business started to slow down due to the economy. I could even argue that circumstances made life a bit harder. 

Yet, I rediscovered the peace that grows from Jesus’ spirit. My inner life realigned to my external life. I followed the teacher, and arguably (you would have to ask others to be sure), became someone worth following again. 

I will stop here for now. 

Next week, we celebrate our 70th anniversary as a company, so it is only fitting that I share the other moments then. 

I love you, 

Alex

Dear Grandpa,

Hi, Grandpa. Happy birthday in heaven. Every March 3, I think about you — and as I have for many years, I wanted to take a moment on your birthday to commemorate you by writing you a letter. 

You may not believe it, but I turned 40 last year! 40 is a milestone. I am old enough to realize that much of what I already chased was vanity. Yet, I am young enough to correct my course in profound ways. But, as I do in my prayer life, I need to start with a confession. 

This year, I have wanted to give up multiple times. I know other people will be reading this letter and I probably shouldn’t admit that. But it’s true. I have felt constantly burdened by the stress of leading a family business. I have seen others leave to do things that seem more fun and less of a grind. I have occasionally felt stuck. The world says, “follow your heart.” But what good is that when your heart is ever-changing? My buoyant mood Monday morning often turns grumpy by Monday afternoon. It changes like the wind, but my responsibility for this business remains constant. 

I know this may sound like I’m whining, and maybe I am. But if I am not honest about my thoughts, they fester. When I write them out, I can assess them, recalibrate, refocus and realign my thinking to my goals. 

My last two years have been about regaining my focus on what matters and persisting when I felt like giving up. 

“Bring Grandma flowers.”

I know I’ve shared this with you before, but I often find myself thinking about one of the last moments I saw you on this planet. 

Lying on your bed, you told us to bring Grandma flowers. This struck me because, after almost nine decades of life and success, you came back to that one relationship. There were a plethora of things you could’ve said — about the business, about your success — but you didn’t. Instead, you pointed to the most important human relationship you had. 

And while it was not your intent, I’ll tell you that it had a huge impact on the development of my character. Sarah and I have observed the same unwavering commitment in our parents’ marriages, and now we continue with ours. We are stronger today than we were pre-pandemic. This has not happened by accident —it has happened because, regardless of how hard life has been, we have ended each day the same way…talking, praying, and then talking some more. Sarah is always on my mind. I can confidently say that I understand why you were thinking about Grandma to the end.

With my home life on stable ground, I have been able to weather the storm at work. Results have been good, but there is much more to it than P&L — or at least there is in a family-led business. This year, there have been times that I have needed to shift my focus from the “burden” of the business to the “privilege” of the business. While business matters sometimes stress me to the point of affecting my sleep, the privilege of seeing other people thrive is greater. 

I cannot emphasize enough the word “other” in the previous sentence. The beauty of the business you founded shines through in the people who made it thrive: Al, Fred, Rocky, and too many other people to mention. They are countless. 

Oh, and I figured you’d want to know that Lap retired in January. You would be so proud of the man he is, the family he leads, and the contributions he made. Sure, occasionally he was a jerk to me, not holding back on letting me know how he thought I was doing. But I became so much better for it! I already miss him and his “performance reviews.” On his last day, he came to my office. We hugged, and I fought back tears. It was probably embarrassing to us both. 

What a privilege. What a moment! 

Love, Alex

The following was originally published on June 27, 2022.

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I believe life is relational. The deepest relationships we have influence every other aspect of our life. I have discovered that getting my relationship right with Sarah positively impacts every other part of my life. Said bluntly, if someone finds me worth following, they can thank Jesus and then Sarah. 

Fifteen years ago, after giving an emotional speech to our wedding guests about my love for Sarah, my dad told me, “Now you have to go live it.” And for the past 15 years we have. 

What does it look like to “live” one’s love? I’ll share a few of our personal examples here. And as I’m sharing these, I’m thinking about two specific kinds of readers: already married leaders and those who may be thinking about getting married. If you’re the former, I hope this encourages you to maintain your marriage not only for its sake, but so that you can bring your best to work. And if marriage is on your horizon, I hope that even one idea below will help set you up for marital success. 

What have Sarah and I done that has positively impacted our marriage?

• We pray every night together. We started this while we were dating. We confess sins, honor God, ask for guidance, and give thanks. This is communication with God and between each other. It has entirely shaped our marriage and everything that follows below.
• We learned each other’s love language. When we were engaged, we read the classic book, The Five Love Languages. Okay, I confess that I thought the book was a silly idea. But through reading it, I discovered that my soon-to-be-wife felt more loved when I held her hand or gave her a hug than when I bought her fancy things. Thanks to the book, not only do I ensure I show her I love her in a way that feels like love to her — but just think of all the money I’ve saved! Just kidding. Kind of.
• Hug your spouse often. As one guest wrote on our wedding picture, “Big kisses, every day!”
• Celebrate a random day of the night with a glass of wine. During our dating life we shared “Tuesday night date nights” and still do.
• Set boundaries. Call me old-fashioned, but I am not alone with the opposite sex unless it is for work and Sarah knows them.
• Be accountable. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know I strive to be accountable for every aspect of my life. The first thing I talk to my accountability partner about is my marriage. Hiding in marriage is not healthy.
• We always resolve conflict quickly. I can remember some of our arguments, but I can honestly say that I NEVER remember one carrying over to the following day. Settle it quickly. Everyone loses when it carries over. Everyone loses. Get it?
• Have a vision for your marriage. Cliche? I do not think so. I want to be the guy telling his great-great-grandkids to bring Sarah flowers when I am at my end. We share Grandma and Grandpa’s anniversary, so why not share their vision?
• Remember. Always remember. I will never forget randomly meeting up with Sarah again on Lincoln Avenue in downtown Chicago — or driving back to Chicago from Evansville, Indiana after my Papa’s funeral so I could try to win her back— then working the next month to get my shot with her and telling her we would get married if we got back together. Spoiler alert: we did! And I will tell the whole story some other time. Stay tuned!
• Share your love. Tell them you love them, and use words. Repeat daily.
• Talk about your love life. (Mom, please feel free to skip this one!) Talk about your expectations. I know this may sound unromantic, but your needs are probably different from theirs. Making sure you’re aligned here can help you avoid unnecessary resentment. For example, I’m tired of playing golf with guys who complain about this aspect of their life. Or worse, guys who give marriage a bad rap because they don’t have the guts to talk about their needs and wants with their wife. My love life is great, and that’s because we talk about it.
• Talk about money too. I do not make a big purchase without Sarah’s approval. She does the same. Avoiding conflict here is wise.
• CELEBRATE the big moments. Like this one. 

Do Sarah and I have a perfect marriage? Of course not. But I will say that a lot of intentionality goes into the great marriage that we have. I am a better person because of Sarah. There is no one I would rather be with. 

Thank you, Lord. 

I love you, Sarah. 

Last week, I shared a post about the importance of taking your shot. My goal with that post was to reach someone waffling on a decision and encourage them to take their shot. 

And now, I’m going to take another shot — even though it feels uncomfortable and awkward — and tell you about something I’m proud of and excited about. It feels odd and self-promotional (something readers of this blog know I avoid like the plague), but at the risk of being accused of “tooting my own horn,” I’m stepping outside my comfort zone just like I suggested you do.

First, a little background: MAPP (Manufacturers Association for Plastic Processors) holds an annual benchmarking conference each fall that has positively impacted my team members and me. Since 1997, MAPP has brought plastic processors together in various forums to learn from each other, challenge each other, and grow relationally. In short, it is an organization that embraces authentic leadership — the process of doing things with and through other people. 

I have been blessed to speak several times at MAPP’s annual benchmarking conference in breakout sessions — intimate Q&A sessions with 10-50 people in a small classroom setting. This has been a great experience where I learned as much as I taught — the audience’s insights and encouragement meant I left the conference feeling fired up to get back to work! 

Out of My Comfort Zone

This year, MAPP has asked me to do something out of my comfort zone. Instead of speaking in a breakout session in a small classroom, they requested I give a talk on the main stage in front of hundreds of attendees. Admittedly, their ask made my heart beat a little faster — and it still does as I write this now! But, I am taking my shot. 

I am taking my shot because the topic I will discuss — shared leadership — is near and dear to me and something I think will help the audience rethink their views about leadership. 

Influence and Leadership

Leadership is the process of doing things with and through other people; it always involves others. And when a leader realizes that their leadership is based on influence — and that no one has a monopoly on influence — their eyes open up to the possibility of other leaders. External factors like experience, title, and status, become irrelevant, and influence takes precedence. 

As I have learned at Hoffer Plastics, a college intern and upcoming retiree may not have much in common, but both can and should influence our organization. We are better when we listen to both. We improve through shared leadership. 

A Question of Legacy

Of course, I have a lot more to say about this topic (and I will at the conference!), but I want to leave you with one parting thought on shared leadership for today — and it’s a question of legacy. When you’re at the end of your life, what do you want to be known for? Is it some arbitrary list of accomplishments? Or, is it something else? I have a clear idea of what I want my legacy to be, and I’ll start my talk at MAPP’s benchmarking conference with that thought. In the meantime, thank you for indulging me in this moment of self-promotion, and I hope you can join me on October 5 and 6 in Indianapolis.

Over the past few years, I’ve written a letter to my Grandpa Hoffer around the date of his birthday. It occurred to me that my other grandfather, Papa, has also significantly impacted my life. What follows is a letter to my mom’s dad, my Papa. I include it on the blog this week because his birthday, July 5th, is smack dab in the middle of summer, and summer is often a time when leaders slow down and take stock. 

I hope this letter encourages you to remember your past. How has it shaped who you have become today? And how can you honor your past in your leadership going forward? Above all else, I hope “remembering” recharges you as it has for me. 

===

Dear Papa, 

I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking about what I might write to you. To start with, I miss you. Since you passed in 2005, my life has changed in so many ways — it feels like a lifetime ago. Yet, when I think back to our time together, the days of yesteryear are precariously close. The only plausible explanation for this feeling is that my fondness for those days goes deep. Those days shaped the man I have become. 

When I look at my three kids, I can’t help but think how much you would love them! I imagine you watching baseball late at night with Will and me. He has somehow inherited your love for sitting quietly and watching baseball. I‘ve told him (more times than I can count) that he has inherited this love from you. Like you, he is willing to put team allegiances aside to celebrate good baseball. I have also told him that you were the only person I knew who saw Babe Ruth play in person. His eyes always grow wide in amazement. 

Meanwhile, Ben eats like you — which means he eats everything, something I’m sure you’d be proud of. I have taken him to a few Cubs games this year, and he has demolished the buffet in our seating area! Ben has such a curiosity for life that I am sure he would tire you out with questions. He specifically wonders about your war experience. You would appreciate the gentleness of his soul. 

Sadie is something else entirely. She is tough, sweet, and a princess — all in a matter of minutes. As you would be able to tell quickly, there is a reason her middle name is Jean. In fact, I call her “Momma Jean” when she is barking orders at her older brothers. But most of all, you would love her hugs. There’s nothing like them on this planet. 

As the years have rolled on, I have always remembered our long Evansville summer days, with their oppressive heat and occasional thunderstorms. I am reminded of lunches we had at Don Mattingly’s restaurant, followed by our movie of choice at the theatre next door. I cannot remember many of the films we saw, but I always felt like those days were the best. Especially when we somehow got to sit inside the boxing ring at Don Mattingly’s! 

I recently gave the boys some of my old Don Mattingly baseball cards. I cannot describe how much I missed you at that moment. 

I’ll never forget one of the last serious conversations we had in your garage. It was the summer of 2004, and I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. You patiently listened to me as you smoked your pipe. I went on and on about all the potential paths I could go down, and I asked you what I should do. You just looked at me and said something along the lines of, “Ah, I am sure you will figure it out. Work hard, and your parents will be proud.” I was admittedly annoyed that you did not give me any kind of concrete guidance. But now, all these years later, I realize the wisdom in what you said. Sometimes the simple approach of working hard clears the path to which path is best. You knew that a person’s identity isn’t found in a particular path but in the ethics of the person on that path. 

Your identity will always be Papa to me. You were steady, consistent, loving, and fun.  

What I would do to have one more dinner at Evansville Country Club with JJ, you, and Sarah. 

Oh, how you would enjoy meeting Sarah. 

I miss you. 

Love, 

Alex

This coming week marks the 15th wedding anniversary for Sarah and me, so it’s the focus of my blog this week. 

===

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I believe life is relational. The deepest relationships we have influence every other aspect of our life. I have discovered that getting my relationship right with Sarah positively impacts every other part of my life. Said bluntly, if someone finds me worth following, they can thank Jesus and then Sarah. 

Fifteen years ago, after giving an emotional speech to our wedding guests about my love for Sarah, my dad told me, “Now you have to go live it.” And for the past 15 years we have. 

What does it look like to “live” one’s love? I’ll share a few of our personal examples here. And as I’m sharing these, I’m thinking about two specific kinds of readers: already married leaders and those who may be thinking about getting married. If you’re the former, I hope this encourages you to maintain your marriage not only for its sake, but so that you can bring your best to work. And if marriage is on your horizon, I hope that even one idea below will help set you up for marital success. 

What have Sarah and I done that has positively impacted our marriage?

• We pray every night together. We started this while we were dating. We confess sins, honor God, ask for guidance, and give thanks. This is communication with God and between each other. It has entirely shaped our marriage and everything that follows below.
• We learned each other’s love language. When we were engaged, we read the classic book, The Five Love Languages. Okay, I confess that I thought the book was a silly idea. But through reading it, I discovered that my soon-to-be-wife felt more loved when I held her hand or gave her a hug than when I bought her fancy things. Thanks to the book, not only do I ensure I show her I love her in a way that feels like love to her — but just think of all the money I’ve saved! Just kidding. Kind of.
• Hug your spouse often. As one guest wrote on our wedding picture, “Big kisses, every day!”
• Celebrate a random day of the night with a glass of wine. During our dating life we shared “Tuesday night date nights” and still do.
• Set boundaries. Call me old-fashioned, but I am not alone with the opposite sex unless it is for work and Sarah knows them.
• Be accountable. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know I strive to be accountable for every aspect of my life. The first thing I talk to my accountability partner about is my marriage. Hiding in marriage is not healthy.
• We always resolve conflict quickly. I can remember some of our arguments, but I can honestly say that I NEVER remember one carrying over to the following day. Settle it quickly. Everyone loses when it carries over. Everyone loses. Get it?
• Have a vision for your marriage. Cliche? I do not think so. I want to be the guy telling his great-great-grandkids to bring Sarah flowers when I am at my end. We share Grandma and Grandpa’s anniversary, so why not share their vision?
• Remember. Always remember. I will never forget randomly meeting up with Sarah again on Lincoln Avenue in downtown Chicago — or driving back to Chicago from Evansville, Indiana after my Papa’s funeral so I could try to win her back— then working the next month to get my shot with her and telling her we would get married if we got back together. Spoiler alert: we did! And I will tell the whole story some other time. Stay tuned!
• Share your love. Tell them you love them, and use words. Repeat daily.
• Talk about your love life. (Mom, please feel free to skip this one!) Talk about your expectations. I know this may sound unromantic, but your needs are probably different from theirs. Making sure you’re aligned here can help you avoid unnecessary resentment. For example, I’m tired of playing golf with guys who complain about this aspect of their life. Or worse, guys who give marriage a bad rap because they don’t have the guts to talk about their needs and wants with their wife. My love life is great, and that’s because we talk about it.
• Talk about money too. I do not make a big purchase without Sarah’s approval. She does the same. Avoiding conflict here is wise.
• CELEBRATE the big moments. Like this one. 

Do Sarah and I have a perfect marriage? Of course not. But I will say that a lot of intentionality goes into the great marriage that we have. I am a better person because of Sarah. There is no one I would rather be with. 

Thank you, Lord. 

I love you, Sarah. 

May is a celebratory month with the onset of spring, blooming flowers, and longer days extending the light. When I think about these things, I also think about Mother’s Day. So naturally, I think of my own mother and Sarah, my wife and mother of my children. 

Over the next two weeks, I will share some lessons I have learned from both of them. These lessons have been instrumental in becoming someone worth following — and I can confidently say this because I have followed them! I am blessed to have both of these amazing women in my life. 

Appreciate Everything

I must exhibit some self-control writing this post, or it might become nauseating to the reader. My disclaimer is that the marriage I have with Sarah is human in that there are plenty of imperfections. So don’t get the idea that I think our marriage is perfect. Instead, what I’d like for you to take away is that I often think about my marriage and appreciate many things about it. And this is the first lesson I learned from Sarah that I am sharing with you: appreciate everything. 

Sarah has taught me to not only appreciate the simple things, but also to reflect and be nostalgic. With an intellect that probably surpasses mine, she has taught me to think deeply before coming to a decision. Slowing down to think has served me well when it comes to decision making. My gut is often right, but making sure that it is has helped me avoid making big mistakes. 

Get Outside Yourself

Sarah is the kind of person that bakes a pie for the neighbor when they are sick, buys food and delivers it to the homeless shelter, and writes a note to one of her friends when they are going through a tough time. All of this can be labeled as service, but it does not feel like that when I see Sarah do it. It just feels like who Sarah is — and watching her always challenges me to get outside myself and put others first.  

To this end, Sarah often challenges me when I think I have not gotten anything done throughout the day. Knowing that I am task-oriented, she asks me how many conversations I had during the day. Maybe, she points out, some of those conversations were the work I was supposed to do? I often think of this when I walk our production floor and someone stops me to chat, meaning I’m late for my next appointment. I can practically hear Sarah’s voice in my head saying, “maybe THIS was the appointment you were supposed to have?” 

Hard Work Outside of the Limelight

When COVID arrived, we asked ourselves, “What does COVID make possible?” Sarah’s answer was to homeschool our children. While this transition was not easy, I observed how Sarah embraced this reality with passion. She did not complain about the new circumstance; instead, she used her teaching skills to find, create, and teach a curriculum to our three kids. While it took time, Sarah — and each of them — persevered. Eventually, it became routine. And now, two years in, our two boys are excelling, and our five-year-old is ahead of her grade level. I learned from this that anything worth doing is hard, and success does not happen overnight. It takes a lot of perseverance. This has aided me when projects seem never-ending, and progress is hard to see.  

Homeschooling has also taught me hard work is often done out of the limelight. Occasionally, people do not get the WORK being done inside our house (emphasis mine). I emphasize WORK to describe what is actually transpiring inside our home. Sarah does not fit into some “stay-at-home” label. Rather, she is a wife, mom, curriculum creator, teacher, and manager of all things inside the house. Label at your own risk — the point is that she shows up and does the WORK regardless. To this extent, neither of us loses sleep over our titles. Rather, Sarah has continually shown me that you do the best you can and then find your worth from the Lord. What other people think is precisely that — what other people think.

Sarah’s Wisdom

Finally, Sarah has taught me other lessons that are worth sharing here: 

• Napping is a secret weapon for the psyche. 
• You can always sleep in. 
• You should only read what is fun or what you are interested in. 
• You should always create a “fun” night where you can relax. 
• Always give other people’s motives the benefit of the doubt. 
• Never speak poorly of others when they are not present. 
• Ask “what can I do to help” often. 

This world needs more thriving relationships. So if you get nothing else out of this post, I challenge you to think about what you appreciate with those you are closest to. Then share it with them. 

As I said above, my relationship with Sarah is far from perfect. But we work at it by discovering, and even rediscovering, what we appreciate about each other. This process makes us better. I am thankful for it, and for the amazing wife I am blessed with.

One of my core beliefs about work is that it should always be done for the benefit of others. Whether it is the creation of a new product, service, or the way you conduct a B2B relationship, in my opinion, the fruits of your labor should positively impact other human beings. This brings purpose to every endeavor. 

Having said this, I also must set the record straight that I take Jesus’ words very seriously in all endeavors, including giving. For those not familiar, Jesus once said, “When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:3-4). My experience has born this out in surprising ways — ways that I’m not going to share here because doing so would diminish the joy found in secrecy. 

That disclaimer aside, I am going to share one cause I am particularly passionate about. I am doing so for three reasons: To illustrate the strategic thought needed for giving, to show giving’s best fruits, and to unabashedly introduce this incredible organization to you, the reader. Before proceeding, however, if you sense any pride or self-importance in what follows, it is not my intent.

Strategic Giving

Like anything else in life, giving aimlessly is better than doing nothing, but still not wise. To this end, I want to give to causes that align with my passions and worldview. As someone that follows Jesus, I am commanded to take care of the orphan and widow (James 1:27). Jesus himself said some striking things as to how far someone should go in serving the poor (Matthew 19:21). So I aim to be intentional in my giving so that it serves the poor, widows, orphans, and everyone else in need. 

The Pan-African Academy of Christian Surgeons (PAACS) is an organization I was introduced to by my father-in-law when I married Sarah. PAACS is a strategic response to the surgical need in Africa. As any generic Google search demonstrates, the need is great. In some areas of Africa, there is only one surgeon for 250,000 people — and other areas only have one surgeon for 2.5 million! 

PAACS trains new surgeons and then sends them to underserved areas in Africa. In the context of Christian organizations, what differentiates PAACS is that it is what I call an “and” ministry, meaning it addresses both physical AND spiritual needs. 

A favorite story of mine is when a PAACS surgeon operated on an ISIS soldier. Confused, the ISIS soldier asked why a Christian doctor would operate on a Muslim? The doctor explained he could do nothing BUT operate because Jesus is at the center of the organization. 

To be clear, there are thousands of incredible organizations locally and nationally, and I do support many. But, the need in Africa has always pulled at my heartstrings because it feels like a forgotten place. More so, I want any success at Hoffer Plastics to also be good news for someone in a place like Africa. Given that just one trained surgeon can help 55,000 people over a twenty-year career, investing in PAACS strategically addresses this need. 

Giving’s Best Fruits 

Just giving dollars to an organization is one thing, but my involvement in PAACS has given me something so much deeper that I want to share it here. I am sharing because if you can also find this in your pursuit of giving, you will be blessed beyond belief. 

What am I referring to? A relationship. 

When I decided to become a PAACS giver I asked if I could be matched directly with a surgeon in training. Why not help someone directly, I thought? In addition, I wondered if there could be an opportunity to get to know them personally. Although my request was new to PAACS at the time, they worked with me and made it happen. 

Enter Asaph

Asaph is the first PAACS resident from the country of Chad! I say this with excitement, because once Asaph is done with training, he will head back to Chad to help address the surgical need there. Asaph currently studies at PAACS’ Bongolo Hospital in Gabon, Africa. Coming full-circle, Bongolo Hospital is the same hospital that my father-in-law has volunteered at once a year for approximately the last two decades. 

Because of my father-in-law’s involvement at Bongolo, I was able to FaceTime with Asaph in early 2020. Since then, we have kept up an ongoing dialogue. We share thoughts, short videos, and prayer requests. I always send pictures of Chicago winters as they are unimaginable to Asaph. In short, we have become brothers. I always look forward to hearing from my friend. Our relationship was unexpected, yet is truly the best gift of all.

Discover the Something You Need to Do 

I am not asking you to give to PAACS. Frankly, I believe God will move the people he needs to give. But I am asking you to think strategically about your giving. Is there an organization out there that you can help? Better yet, is there a relationship you can form?

What I know is that leaders are worth following because their care runs incredibly deep and they are very intentional about addressing the needs around them. The point of today’s post is to encourage you to do something. What that something is, however, is up for you to discover. 

As for me, I am thankful for the amazing work PAACS is doing and will continue to support it, as well as many other unnamed organizations I support, starting with my local Church. 

Finally, I look forward to the day that I finally meet Asaph in person because our relationship is the greatest gift that giving to PAACS has provided me. 

In the Bible in One Year app, I recently read a commentary that shared an amazing story about Mother Teresa. Her feet were so deformed that some wondered whether she had leprosy. One of her sisters explained, “her feet are deformed because we get just enough donated shoes for everyone, and Mother does not want anyone to get stuck with the worst pair, so she digs through and finds them. And years of doing that have deformed her feet.” As the commentary concluded, “years of loving her neighbor as herself has deformed her feet!” 

In this blog, I have continually defined leadership as the art of being someone worth following. And given the example above, it’s no wonder Mother Teresa was adored by millions. Her love was based on others first. She was fully loved by Jesus, so she was able to share out of her abundance — and there is no greater love than this! 

The World’s Greatest Demonstration of Love

This week is Holy Week in the Christian calendar. It is the week where Christ-followers across the world mourn on Good Friday and celebrate the empty tomb on Easter Sunday morning. It is a time of reflection, worship, and Sabbath. Most of all, it is the world’s greatest demonstration of love. 

My commitment to you, the reader, has always been to maintain transparency and authenticity. I want to be transparent about my life, even to the point of vulnerability. If you have read this blog for any amount of time, you should see a demonstration of my many imperfections shared through these posts. 

You should also get a sense of what makes me who I am. I have not been shy about sharing my love for Jesus. My identity starts and ends here. While I am always honest that there is much I cannot explain, I can attest that my life utterly changed when I began following Jesus. 

My late teens and early twenties were characterized by a pursuit of popularity and pleasure. I was centered on myself, and I hurt some people along the way, including myself. Over the years, the darkness became less figurative in nature. By the time I was in college, the nights seemed to increase in length. I was “living my best life,” as some like to say these days, but all the parties and hookups left me feeling hopeless. It was not what I had signed up for. As I would come to read later in the Bible, I was gaining the whole world but losing my soul in the process. 

God is Closer than You Think

Then I saw the light. This time I mean it figuratively, as I did not actually see a light. But through the encouragement of a girl I was trying to date in my early twenties, I started attending a church in the Chicago suburbs during one college summer break. At the first service I attended, the pastor wrote on a flip chart the phrase, “God is closer than you think.” He then said that regardless of what was happening in our lives, God was closer than we thought. This statement shocked me. “No he isn’t,” I thought. Yet, I could not shake it. So I started a process of seeking.  

I kept going to that church. I also began reading the Bible. While I grew up in a Christian household and thought I was a “Christian,” reality was different. I may have been quasi-religious, thinking that if I did “enough” good things, maybe I would be accepted? But in reality, I was not following Jesus. Please note that I am not saying this from a place of judgment —  I am just saying that I was like the student sitting at the back of the lecture hall. I knew a few of the bumper stickers phrases, but I was not putting them into practice, or even putting them on my car. I knew of Jesus, but I was not his student. I was checking the religious boxes at Christmas and Easter, but I was living my own life. I was Lord — He was not. It’s no wonder I did not feel worthy because my life was not adding up to much. 

I know this may be sounding too spiritual to some but stay with me. The reality for me is that I soon found Jesus. This was the light, per se. Finding Jesus meant that I did not have to do “enough” to be valued, I was good enough already. This did not mean that I could or should continue to go on living life the way I had. After all, that life had led to some painful experiences — I later realized that while God always loves us, he does allow us to experience the consequences of our actions. And I thank God that He allowed me to do that, because I did not want to live there! 

As I began reading the stories of Jesus’ life in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John my life began to change. The world had been telling me to pursue my own success and my own kingdom, and find pleasure wherever I could. While I cannot speak for any other reader of this blog, this equation was not working for me. 

All Can Come In

What struck me about Jesus was how countercultural He was and is both then and now. He said that in order to find your life, you have to lose it. It is better to turn your cheek, build others up, and go the extra mile with someone even when it costs you. His way is the narrow path, not the wide path. 

Moreover, He was (and still is) the only one who says ALL can come in. There are no preconditions. He lifted up women, people of different nationalities, the poor, and children — in short, everyone. It is indescribable in totality. It is amazing in its depth. It is inclusivity in totality. 

It was what I fell forever in love with. 

He is the ultimate one that I want to follow. 

But what about that empty tomb? Do we just have to “trust” and go on “blind faith?” That sounds pretty foolish to me. If someone can prove the tomb was not empty I think we should all have a talk. 

But having said this, I also think history leaves even more puzzling questions for us to consider: Like, why would Jesus’ most trusted apostles propagate a lie that would (and most cases did) cost them their lives in painful and brutal ways? Remember, they did not claim to believe in the resurrection, they said they had seen the resurrection. I can understand people dying for something they believe in, but dying for a lie? I guess I do not have the faith to believe that, but you have to make up your mind for yourself. 

Before closing, I try to go to great lengths to be open to ALL readers of this blog. I do this because I think that is what Jesus would want me to do! ALL are welcome in King Jesus’ kingdom! There are no “infidels.” There are only sinners like me that have been redeemed and freed to love others. There is no better love. Hence, please consider the above nothing more than my adoration for that love.  

My story culminated with a public baptism in August of 2005. My sister Charlotte and I were baptized in the waters of Lake Michigan. I share this because I often think of how different my life is now, compared to then, when I fly back to Chicago over the lake. Jesus’ love for me is bigger than even that! The same can be said for you. 

This is what Mother Teresa knew to be true as well, which is why her deformed feet were such a small price to pay for the love she knew. Similarly, I pray that we model this kind of love for others because there is no better kind.