Personal Growth

The Masters golf tournament has always held a special place in my heart because my dad played in it as an amateur in 1984. Augusta National Golf Club is historic, beautiful, and arguably the most peaceful golfing landscape in the world – although Pine Valley would give it a run for its money! I’ve been a patron at 3 Masters, including Tiger Woods’ thrilling come-from-behind win earlier this week. But what stands out writing this post a few days later isn’t so much the most unbelievable sports accomplishment I have ever witnessed — and to be sure, seeing Tiger hit his tee shot to 3 feet on 16 was exactly that!

But as I reflect on my time at August on Sunday, what strikes me most is how alive and fully present I felt all day. This depressing reality sunk in just a few hours after the experience was over, as I had to admit to myself that I’m living a distracted life.

Let me explain further. As many know, Augusta National Golf Club does not allow patrons to have cell phones or any other digital devices on the grounds during the tournament. So as my friend and I strolled into line at 5:20 a.m., I began hearing sounds I have grown unaccustomed to hearing: birds chirping, conversations, and the sounds of lawn mower engines. The conversations around me were give and take, characterized by complete sentences, pauses, and responses. My friend and I joined in and talked about various topics ranging from his job, my church, and of course, the Chicago Cubs.

I think it was only around 6 a.m., as the sun was coming up, that I first reached into my pocket to snap a picture. With nothing but my car keys there, I wondered aloud to my friend how many times I would do this over the course of the day? Sadly, I lost count by 7 a.m.

The day to come was in many ways sensory overload. The smell of the damp mowed grass, the sounds of the quiet chatter of excited patrons anticipating what could happen later in the day, the sound of the trees as the wind brushed through the leaves making them sound like approaching rain drops. Without the weather app, Instagram, or text messages, I was aware of everything, even my vain desire to grow the number of my likes. As the hours passed, my hand returned regularly to the outside of my pocket as if to remind myself that none of this could be captured on a device. Even there I began wondering why this repetitive habit had such a grip on me? Why the desire to overshare everything?

The conventional advice is that I need social media for this blog, for Hoffer Plastics, and for keeping in touch with friends. But what’s the cost of all that? More aptly, what would have been the cost if my phone had been on me last Sunday at Augusta National? Would I have noticed the way Tiger walked towards his marked golf ball on 15 with a slight uptick of posture, exuding confidence, just moments after his competitor had sadly dumped his third shot into the lake in front of the 15th green? Would I have noticed the small turtle swimming in the 16th pond moments before Tiger would hit the most clutch golf shot I have ever witnessed in person? Would I have felt the extreme jubilation in my heart, my buddy’s left hand grabbing my shoulder, or seen the joy in the random stranger next to me, as Tiger walked to the 16th green?

Most assuredly, I would have missed some of those moments with the distraction of having my phone out trying to capture the moment for posterity.

Later in the day the extent of my distraction came further into focus. After witnessing Tiger putt in on 18, after hearing the most deafening roar I have ever heard, and after driving back to our Airbnb, my friend and I decided to relax with a glass of wine a few hundred feet from the beautiful Augusta river. No longer detached from our cell phones, there we were with them once again in our hands. As we talked about the day, I worked on a post that was attempting capture all that we had experienced that day. I can’t remember what exactly my friend was talking about, but before I could hit “post,” it finally dawned on me how much of a problem living a distracted life has become.

I don’t want to go on living a distracted life, so I am going to do something about it.

I invite you back on Monday when I share what that is. Until then, however, pay attention to how much attention you are giving digital inputs. Are they distracting you from what is in front of you? Is the cost worth it?

Only you can be the judge.

Sometimes I use this blog to journal and put challenging days into perspective. The following is an example from a couple months ago.

Yesterday was a doozy. It felt like one of those days where everyone pointed out everything wrong with Hoffer Plastics, without offering much in terms of solutions. To be fair, I write these words at the end of February after countless days of cold and clouds. While that shouldn’t play into people’s moods, I have come to discover that it does.

More importantly, people are working hard here. Effort is not, and has never been, the issue. In fact, I think one of the reasons people are frustrated is because they recently tasted success with one of the largest revenue months in the history of the company. The feeling since, however, can be characterized by a cloudy February day in Chicago: While it beats a snow storm, enough cloudy days together tempts one to wonder whether the sun and warmth are ever going to return.

As I drove home, my head pounded. I wasn’t scheduled to workout but I probably should have as I use physical exercise as an outlet. It dawned on me that I should have prayed during the day. I write posts about prayer after all. But in the dudgeon of my self-centeredness, praying was not what came to mind. Sulking was.

After mumbling how bad the day was to Sarah, I went upstairs to my closet to change out of my work clothes. Inside our walk-in closet is the chair where I do my morning Bible reading. Seeing it convicted me, and reminded me that I needed to pray.

I think the prayer began something like this: “Lord, I don’t know what I am doing. I feel like a terrible leader. Our team cares deeply, but we are bickering. I pray for your wisdom. Guide me, and the company, in the direction we should go. Help us seek YOUR will, not our own. Help me seek Your will, not my own. And help us be more graceful to one another.”

As I have shared before, prayer is not about getting the words right. It is about being real, surrendering to God, and seeking His will and ways above your own. As John Ortberg says, “prayer is more about changing you than it is about changing your circumstances.”

This prayer reminded me to text my accountability partner, John. I owned up to all the emotions, my negative self-talk, and the frustrations of the day. I then asked for his prayers too. He immediately responded, “I’m on it!” This reminded me that I am not alone in my struggles.

Then, and only then, was I ready to go downstairs and transition into husband/dad Alex. Sadie knew what to do. She immediately made me laugh by saying my name in a way that only two-and-a-half-year-old little girl can do. If there is any better sound, I have not heard it!

Meanwhile, the boys were being their playful selves. All they cared was getting dinner over so we could move to the basement and play hockey. Yet to be sure, playing hockey, or playing ANYTHING with them, always helps improve my spirits because recreation always re-creates.

And then there is Sarah. She was her usual, delightful, tender-hearted, self. I suspect she will just roll her eyes when she edits this, but her ability to give me space, and let me process the day’s events, always brings me back to reality faster than having to explain why I am not in the best of moods. In this regard she has wisdom that I aim to model with direct-reports. For sometimes it is better to just let people have their space.

I once heard Colin Powell say during a Global Leadership Summit speech that “everything looks different in the morning.” And to be sure, by the following morning things looked different back at Hoffer Plastics. But it was nothing I did. Rather, it was the answer to prayers prayed, support from a friend, and the reminder of the blessings of family coupled with their support.

The next time things are spinning out of control for you, calm down. Remember your blessings. It is only one bad day.

This winter, Will’s baseball coach held extra indoor hitting practices to get the team prepared for spring ball. Admittedly, I was always a little skittish for him to be practicing in the winter. But he was having fun and demanding to go.

But at the last session a few weeks ago, Will was struggling. He was taking what looked like half-swings. His coach noticed, too, and asked me if he was playing golf.

“I wish,” was my response. But even as the words came out of my mouth, I realized what was going on. Will, Ben, and I had played countless hours of hockey in our basement all through the fall and winter, and now Will was swinging the baseball bat like a hockey stick. So, desiring to be the next hitting coach for the Chicago Cubs AND an “all-star dad,” I informed Will why he was struggling on our drive home from practice.

At the time, I didn’t think much of it. But I soon realized my parenting misstep.

Being the parent-pleaser he is, that very night, instead of asking to play hockey as had been our daily tradition for months, Will asked to hit nerf baseballs in the basement to get “ready for the season” (Alex Jr. in training). Fast forward three weeks later, and we still haven’t played a hockey game. While discussing the upcoming NHL playoffs one morning as I was on my way off to work, I asked Will why we weren’t playing hockey anymore? “Because I don’t want to ruin my baseball swing,” he said.

This crushed me.

I wish the Chicago Cubs took baseball this seriously.

These kinds of situations take precedence over work, so I put my bag down and sat at the kitchen table with the boys. I then proceeded to explain to them the 3 Spring Sports Rules for the Hoffer house:

Have Fun. Stay Safe. Try your best.

Will added a 4th: To have good sportsmanship. All right then. 4 Spring Sports Rules.

I reminded Will that I don’t care how well he hits the ball so long as he is having fun, staying safe, and trying his best. Further, if he is smart enough to explain the difference between a hockey and baseball swing – and he is –I don’t think he has anything to worry about with regards to playing floor hockey! To this, he smiled and said, “thanks dad.”

Our 1980s sitcom moment aside, as I transitioned from my role as dad to my bald in business personae on my commute to Hoffer Plastics, I quickly realized that those rules–have fun, stay safe, and try your best–are directly applicable to what I do every day at work. Throw in Will’s fourth rule, good sportsmanship, and you’re on your way from “Good to Great.” After all, you cannot be a level 5 leader without being someone others respect, and who respects a bad sport?

I share this little story to encourage you to simplify your approach to life and leadership. Yes, we need to “confront the brutal facts,” “put in our 10,000 hours,” and do whatever the current business book advice of the day is.

But we also need to have fun, stay safe, and do our best.

As Ben reminded me as I gathered my work bag that morning, “you cannot make it a great day unless you try your best, dad.”

I begin this post with the reality that I haven’t felt well the last few days. Multiple canker sores, a cold, and sinus issues had me tempted to rest and “work from home” today. But we had a 30th anniversary for one of our Plant Managers, so this was not really an option.

I decided to show up.

Here is what I discovered:

While I don’t want to bash “working from home,” its benefits are limited. Of course, you can get various tasks completed from home. Some argue that they are even more “productive” working from home. I think task-wise this is absolutely true, unless like me, you have a cute 2.5-year-old interrupting you!

Leading from home is a different story however.

Leadership is still about influence. Influence is earned face-to-face, listening, caring, and showing-up! Sending in a congratulatory email to our Plant Manager today would have sufficed if I had the Flu. But, when you have a cold, and some annoying oral pain, it is best to show up!

Showing up also leads to unexpected moments. Today, for instance, I found myself in the office of another Plant Manager shortly after the anniversary party. My role in this situation was to listen to some of the issues he was facing. We touched on various topics: scheduling, mold-changes, short-runs, etc., and I gained insight from our 30-minute conversation. This knowledge will help me become better at my job overseeing operations. In fact, I have actionable items from our time spent together.

This would not be so if I had been home today.

So, I am thankful I showed up today.

Grandpa would not have let a few minor health issues keep him from coming-in. So, neither should I.

Leaders, we need to suck-it-up and show up when we don’t feel well (unless we are really sick, and we all know the difference).

It is our job to set the example!

I was in the middle of one of those projects that feels like it is the most important project ever. The irony is that I cannot even remember which one of those “most important projects” this one was in retrospect. Still, I was stressed out.

The gym is where I often go to sweat the stress out. And this always works, at least for a few hours. So, I was getting after it. My heart was pumping, the sweat was pouring, and it felt great. In an attempt to double my productivity, I was listening to the Tim Ferriss podcast while getting my sweat on. He was interviewing Tony Robbins, and I about dropped my barbell when I heard this:

“What stops us from moving forward? FEAR. If you’re an achiever, you probably call it stress. Stress IS fear.” (emphasis mine).

My problem wasn’t stress.

And no amount of working out was going to resolve my real problem.

I literally took a knee inside the gym. I knew I looked like one of those crazy gym guys, but whatever. I hit pause on the podcast, and just stopped everything.

Pulling out my iPhone, I started a new note listing what I was fearful of in relation to the project. Hear are some of the things I listed:

Not measuring up. Letting the customer down. Not delivering on time. Disappointing my teammates, suppliers, partners, even my family. Of being found out as someone who isn’t as “good” as they claim to be. Or worse, being found lacking in any regard. For example, someone finding out some of the stupid things I did in high school, or finding examples that I am not who I supposedly claim to be. (And I thought this was about a project at work???)

The list could on and on.

While the count differs per Bible translation, “fear not” is mentioned anywhere from 442 times in KJV to 684 times in the ESV. Maybe the repetition is there for us to remember that we, as humans, have a fear problem?

I’d imagine most people reading this are, to one degree or another, “stressed.” I challenge you to ask yourself: What are you afraid of?

Whatever it is, write it down either on your phone or a piece of paper.

Get it all out.

Your circumstances won’t change by doing this.

As I learned, the power of your fear will dissipate however. It won’t all go away, and you will have to return to the list a lot, but you will have begun working on the real problem.

Stress, after all, was never the problem in the first place.

I have an ego.

I want to be liked.

So, while I tried not to pay attention to how many people read the re-launch Bald in Business post, the temptation eventually won out.

The answer was humbling.

At the time I am writing this, only about 50 people read that post.

To be clear, I am not looking for a pat on the back, or encouragement. While I crave that kind of stuff just like everyone reading this does, that’s not the point here.

The point is that writing a blog has uncovered a deep-seated desire to be liked inside my soul. And I could be wrong, but I’d imagine that I am not alone in feeling this way.

Lying in bed a few weeks ago – where I often think about this stuff – I came to the conclusion that it is probably best that I don’t have 500, or 1,000, people reading each post. As cool as that might be, it probably wouldn’t be healthy for me at this stage of my writing journey.

And it’s humbling admitting this for all to see.

While I don’t think I seek approval in my leadership, or parenting, the ugly reality is that I do there as well.

This experience has me re-evaluating how much I do. How many of my decisions are based on what others will think instead of what I know is right and best?

What about you?

All 50 of you. =)

This is uncomfortable, so it is easy to ignore.

Don’t.

Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Examine your own leadership and become aware of where you are seeking the approval of others.

(By the way, this experience helped me clarify two reasons why I write this blog. First, I enjoy writing. Second, I like helping people. So, if this helps one person, and only 3 people read it, mission achieved! I just have to keep remembering this lesson. I haven’t learned it yet by any means).

Growing up, I feared losing my hair.

Combine the constant advertisements about hair replacement with the internal self-doubts about my own appearance, and I was convinced that I would never be accepted.

As I have grown, I have come to realize that living “bald” is perhaps even more frightening than being “bald.” Living “bald” means being uncovered, barren, or exposed. It means being vulnerable, and bold, about who you are.

Like the first time shaving my head, this is scary. Will people accept me?

But boldly persisting, anyway, is what this blog is about.

Nothing is more important to my identify than my faith in Jesus. Thus, I cannot be bald in business without exploring that reality in my daily business walk. Still, and important to note, this blog will forever be a safe place of exploration.

It is simply a place for all people, and all faiths.

I learn from you, and I hope you can learn from me.

Together, I hope we develop the courage to embrace bald, and stay bold.

So, what’s to come?

Each Monday, I will post about leadership or personal growth.

Most Tuesdays will be the #TuesdayT: “challenging truths for life and leadership.”

And every Thursday will be #TheoThursday: “Theological thoughts about the workplace.”

In short, I intend to explore how my faith is changing, and hopefully improving, my personal leadership, all the while encouraging, and challenging, the reader to improve theirs.

Each post will be 300 words or less.

Your time is valuable, and life is better lived.

So, live it boldly.

Embrace bald, and stay bold.

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The file is green.  I suppose it is somewhere inside my desk.  As for its contents? Well, I have never looked.

I received the file from a team member leaving the company.  One of their direct reports wasn’t going to make it. Or, at least that is what they believed. Taking the file, I thanked them, and placed it inside my desk.

There, several years later, it sits collecting dust.

“Keeping an open mind” is easier said than done, but doing so should be one of the tenets of leadership.  While I trusted this person’s opinion to a point, I did not have much personal experience with their direct report.  Therefore, it was up to me to get to know this person.  After all, they were going to report to me now.

This meant I had to be curious and ask several questions:  What direction did they need?  Did any aspect of their role need clarifying?  Did they know what winning looks like in their role? In other words, was there a specific Key Result Area (KRA) that they, and their manager, had signed off on?  Were there performance goals that they had set? Preferably with feedback from their manager?  And assuming all of this was clear, how was this person performing to those standards?

A few days after receiving the file, I met with this individual and clarified what I was going to be looking for in the position.  Moreover, I clarified what I thought a win would look like, and made sure this person understood.  Not only did they understand, they seemed to gain more energy the more we talked.  As we departed, I was optimistic about the future.  But before leaving, I did one last thing.  I looked this individual in the eyes and told them that today was the beginning of a new relationship.

The slate had been wiped clean.

That conversation took place several years ago.

And because of it, I have never had reason to look at the file.

I recently went to my old gym because it is closer to my house and the roads were awful due to a November blizzard. While the gym itself is fine, I was quickly reminded why I left:

What this picture communicates is that nobody cares. Not only was there a trash problem, there were 45lb weights thrown onto the floor like they were the discarded legos of our five-year-old. I’d like to dismiss all this and say that the gym was just having a “bad day.” The problem is that this kind of behavior went on for MONTHS prior to me leaving, and apparently still exists!

It was so bad that I ended up joining a gym further away from my house, that costs MUCH more.

And is awesome….

I fear this may sound judgmental, but it is not intended to be. So, here is what goes through my mind when I see something like this:

What small things am I not paying attention to?

What small things is Hoffer Plastics not paying attention to?

Do we value our customers? Really?

Do I value my kids? Am I willing to help pick their crap up, even when they should be picking their crap up?

Am I willing to help Sarah clean the kitchen up? Especially when work has been mentally and physically taxing?

If everyone treated Christ Community Church the way I do, would the Church be healthy?

Do I ever forget to put weights away at my new gym?

Or, more personal…Do I let people I love hear that I love them?

Do I hug my wife enough?

My mom would want me to hug her more.

Noted.

I could go on.

The small things –even trash — matter.

I recently read that Lyndon Johnson believed that it was better to give 5-minute speeches that allow for 15 minutes to connect with the audience afterward, rather than 15-minute speeches that only allow for 5 minutes to connect with the audience afterward.*

This is a brilliant thought. Shaking hands, looking into people’s eyes, and making conversation, always outweighs the talk. What, after all, is more memorable? My dad still tells about the time that he saw John F. Kennedy’s motorcade drive by in downtown Elgin in 1960, and saw the campaigning Kennedy through the window. I’d imagine that Kennedy gave a talk somewhere in downtown Elgin that day, but most people don’t remember what he said. They remember being there, however, because even the slightest connections outweigh prepared talks.

Connecting may be the skill that differentiates good from great leaders in the twenty-first century. We live in a world that is more connected digitally, and less connected in reality, than arguably any modern time. For the leader, this means we had better learn how to connect.

Connecting means walking the manufacturing floor, looking people in their eyes, and asking them how things are going. It means huddling in a basement to study the Bible, and developing the kind of trust that allows people to quit pretending that they have life figured out. It means turning the phone off long enough to give undivided attention to the kids.

It means date nights with your spouse.

And back to work, it means intentionally taking time to talk with people about THEIR lives.

Finally, it means face-to-face meetings are indispensable because they force people to sit together and talk, rather than emailing or texting.

It is the leader’s job to create space for connecting.

*While Johnson’s point was around connecting, much can also be said for brevity. Hence, you will notice that my goal is to keep each post under 300 words. The post above was 291 words, but who is counting?