Personal Growth

man reading newspaper

My “JOMO” Plan

I recently heard Jason Fried, CEO of Basecamp, talk about how he intentionally misses out on information so that he can increase his focus on matters of importance. Instead of the oft-used “FOMO” (Fear of Missing Out), Fried has coined the acronym “JOMO” (Joy of Missing Out) in its place. For example, Fried no longer monitors the news during the day. Rather, he reads an actual newspaper each morning (remember those?). This enables Fried to “joyfully miss out” on the latest news throughout the day. After all, the newspaper sums up the major events the next morning anyways, so why do we need to follow it in real-time?

If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know by now that the topic of attention fascinates me as a leader. It fascinates me because I care about people. I don’t want our team members being available all the time because every one needs breaks and rest. I also don’t want them being distracted by their work when they are with their families (and new grandchildren!). Of course I’d like our company to improve its efficiency and be less distracted as well. Duh. But, the human toll is what concerns me most. Too much information is being processed, and burnout is on the rise. While I can’t prove it, my hunch is that we are attempting to process too much, and in the process our attention is becoming more scattered.

JOMO is a new perspective to consider. I like it because it reframes the debate: could there be joy in missing out? That’s something rarely considered. I’m going to find out. Without further ado, here are a few ways I am working at implementing JOMO into my daily routine. After reviewing what I am doing, I challenge you to consider your own regime. What can you give up — joyfully — so that you can increase your attention and focus?

My changes:
-I have changed my notification settings on my iPhone. I have turned off all sounds, and “badge app icons,” and “show on lock screen.” I only allow notifications to be displayed in my “history” as “banners.” This means that I have to seek out information instead of getting the vibrating “jolt” I used to get. I realize this is only a baby step, but so far the practice has gifted me extra focus.

-I still allow for “reminders” and “calendar alerts” so that I don’t have to remember things. I mention because you don’t want to be distracted by remembering simple tasks. Automate when you can.

-I joyfully miss out on responding back to texts immediately. I don’t know if my friends appreciate this, but I no longer feel guilty about it.

-The next step is to “silence” text messages altogether. Upon posting this article, I am taking that plunge.

-I have started to place my phone on the table – ten feet away from me – when my wife and I have our “couch time” together after the kids go to bed. Because of what I am doing above, the only reason my phone vibrates is that someone is calling me. Our conversations have already gotten better.

-I am working at only using one electronic device at a time (one study claims that 88% of people watch T.V. And surf their iPhone at the time. As Curt Steinhorst says, “We can’t even focus on what used to distract us!”). I am doing this to exercise my attention muscles. Who knew watching the NFL, while NOT monitoring fantasy stats, could be good for my health?

-When a team member comes in to chat, I am turning OFF my computer screen. If it is on, I am tempted to check my email.

-Speaking of email, I am batching my email like I am forced to do when I travel internationally. This means that instead of monitoring it all day, I am processing and responding at given times throughout the day (of all these, this is the biggest work in progress).

-When I am tempted to text or email, I am picking up the phone and calling people more regularly than I used to. Why is this JOMO? It is JOMO because phone calls give me the joy of real communication instead of relying on digital. It also reaps the rewards of real connectivity, as opposed to perceived connectivity. Finally, it forces me to be more thoughtful in my responses, rather than “firing off another email.”

-I am rarely checking my social feeds unless I have to post a blog (Monday and Thursday morning), or alone on the road (a cheap connectivity thrill when I feel lonely and could use the jolt of dopamine that social media gifts). In fact, I have found social media to be a healthy “reward” when I don’t rely on in 24/7. Everything in moderation folks!

-I am reading print as much as possible (physical books over kindle and audible books, magazines over digital magazines, and eventually the physical WSJ over the digital version (I am too cheap to throw away the digital subscription I currently have!). I have discovered that focus and retention dramatically increases when I read hard copy.

You can decide if any of the above work for you. The point is two-fold: Consider lessening distracting inputs yourself, so that you can improve your own focus. And secondly, encourage and challenge your teammates to do likewise.

The benefit may be two of the greatest joys in the world…some unexpected free time and improved relationships!

My “JOMO” Plan Read More »

man on mountain top

How I dealt with a recent failure…

I wanted to hide.

I wanted to get away, or be anywhere but there.

“There” was earlier this month at our golf club’s “Invitational Tournament.” I was playing with a friend. Like everyone else, I wanted to play my best at this event.

But, as the event approached, I noticed a twitch in my hands. This soon began affecting my “pitch” shots. Suddenly, I noticed my hands jabbing at normal shots that required any sort of “touch.” The worst part about it was I could not stop it. In fact, the more I tried, the worse it got. (A lesson all too familiar to those of us who golf!).

Friday featured 27 holes. On the first hole, I hit a good drive, but chunked an easy wedge to the green. Here it comes, I thought…But, I was able to hit a good shot to the green, make the putt, and win the hole. I was convinced that I had gotten past this ordeal!

If only.

The next 26 holes were excruciating. When I missed greens, and I missed more than I hit, I had no “touch.” While my score was ok the middle 9 holes–when my short game was never tested–I knew the issue was still lingering, even toying with my consciousness. I felt off overall. Feelings of nervousness and anxiety abounded. And it began affecting everything. On the second hole, I lost a tee shot right out of bounds–something I rarely do. Then it came….  To golfers, the word starts with a “Y” and I am not writing it here. Call it superstition, but a golfer is never going to write a certain “Y” word.

The worst part, and why I just wanted to dig a hole and hide, is that golf is public. I felt I was letting my partner down (he’s too kind to ever be anything but supportive, so this was my issue). Moreover, I was doing this in front of a peer (our opponent) that I had not seen in about 20 years. What would he think? My thoughts imagined that he must think that I am pathetic. That my game stinks. That I am lousy at everything. Of course, he is also too nice to think such things.

I am always harder on myself than others are. Can you relate to that?

Embarrassing. That’s the word that continued to echo through my mind that day.  I probably heard it inside my mind 948 times.

Ok, maybe it was only 594 times. I lost count.

Fast forward to that night. I could not sleep. My mind told me that even that was “embarrassing.”

We did have another 18 the next day. So, I got out of bed and prayed. If this sounds weird, hang on for a second. It is probably not what you think. Here is what I prayed for: I prayed that God would help me stop focusing on myself. Fear always leads me to self-centered thoughts. Not only was I a lousy host to my partner that day, I had failed to ask our opponents any meaningful questions throughout the day. So, I began by acknowledging this and asking for forgiveness. I also asked for strength to repent (this is a word that is religious, but easy to understand. Think of it being what you do when you turn your car around when you are lost and driving to the accurate location–the turning around is repenting). I asked for perspective. This is only golf after all! I also prayed that I would have the strength to be okay with whatever came the next day. I also reminded myself of these truths — Life is more than performance. God’s word reminds me that my identity is not tied to me. It is not tied to work, performance, or satisfying my ego. In fact, I am called to lay down my life (all of it, but especially my own self-interests) and follow Him so that I can fully love others as I want to be loved myself.

I was doing none of that…

So, as I closed my prayer time, I thanked God–as hard as this was to do in the moment–for allowing me to experience these failures publicly so that I could be re-centered on what really mattered.

Failure often does this for me.

I also thanked Him for the things that mattered most in my life (note, my golf game did not make that “cut”).

Contrary to my thoughts the day prior, the sun did come up the next morning. I began my pre-round practice session by hitting what felt like 20 ground balls at, not on, the chipping green. I told my partner that I needed to go to a psyche ward. And then I did something unintentional, but what ended up being strategic: I laughed about it.

When was the last time you laughed off your own insecurity or fear?

Back to me one last time. After laughing, I gave in and tried a new grip. Finally, I began hitting some good shots. I then told myself that I was going to focus on the only thing I could control that day: my attitude.

Maybe my grin is cheesy, but I committed to smiling more that day.

I wish I could tell you that my partner and I made a dramatic comeback and won the tournament later that day. We did not.

However, I played much better. I even hit several good “pitch” shots.

Most importantly, I got out of my self and had a good time with my partner and opponents. In fact, we closed the afternoon having lunch with the team that beat us on the last hole (we were very generous to them in our match, much to their delight!).

I share this experience because it reminded me that public failure is agonizing, even when it is “only golf.” The next time it might be public speaking, or a big work project. The only thing I can be sure of is that there will be a next time.

And the truth is, but there will be a time for you as well.

Therefore, the next time you want to hide, the next time you want to cry, the next time you want to simply give up…

Remember to smile.

Remember to get outside of yourself and connect with others.

And remember that there is no such thing as a pain-free existence in the broken world we live in. Business aside, we all know someone struggling with cancer, there are vast injustices in the world, and there really are people starving in Africa. One does not have to look far to realize this world is not right.

Therefore, maintain perspective. Is what you are going through really life or death?

And if it is, let me know.

I will pray for you.

I will connect with you.

This does not guarantee you will get better. The cross, after all, had to still be endured.

But, you won’t be alone.

(Maybe it is my ego, but I feel compelled to note that the root cause of my hand issue ended up being a physical one–relating to supplements I was taking for acid reflux– and not a mental one. This was a lesson in itself as it reminded me that I need to extend more grace to those dealing with physical calamities at work and elsewhere. Thus, I feel like it is worth mentioning here.)

How I dealt with a recent failure… Read More »

stack of old photos

I get scared sometimes too…

A month ago, Will (7 as of today!) called for Sarah from his bedroom upstairs. It was about ten minutes after he went to bed. The kids seem to always call for “mom,” which is not surprising, but I decided to give Sarah this time off. Up I went….

Will was not pleased to see me. The boys never are when they want mom. I am the “gluten free” version of their favorite bread – good to push around and play with, but not comforting whatsoever.

I asked Will what the deal was. “I’m scared,” he said. As any parent knows, this is a common refrain from kids. So, you have to decipher if this is real fear, or the kind the child conjures up to delay going to bed or delay some other duty. It became clear quickly that this time, Will was actually scared about something.

He could not put into words what it was — perhaps it was something he saw earlier in the day, I don’t know, but, knowing our son, I could just tell this was different. Maybe it was the long day, maybe it was the parenting podcast I had listened to earlier in the day, but I decided to handle the situation differently than I had before. As I sat on Will’s bed, I told him, “I get scared sometimes too.”

“Adults get scared?” he asked.

Yes they do.

I then explained to Will that fear is a feeling. It is not a bad or good thing, it is just a feeling. I often feel that feeling before I go to the doctor’s office for a big check up, or before a big flight to Europe — especially when the weather is questionable. Of course, some people call it by a different name, but in reality it is fear. The point about fear is that we work up the courage to act anyway.

By the time I was done explaining this, Will was already going to sleep. It was like all he needed to know was that it was okay to feel fear, and even better to know that Dad feels it too.

A couple weeks later we were at the local swimming pool. It was our big outing prior to my 7-day European business trip. Sarah had built this day up for the kids and had been encouraging Will to go on the new water slide with me for the first time. Always a little timid, he was not sure about it.

As we walked up the stairs to the slide, he was clutching my hand. Leaning in, I told him, “you’re going to feel fear up there. Even I will. But, we are going to have fun going down that slide, especially the bump in the middle that will bounce us into the air.” With that, he grinned.

And the smile I saw a few moments later, as our tube entered the lazy river upon completion of the slide, carried me all the way to Europe!

The next time you feel fear, realize it is only a feeling.

Ride the slide anyway!

I get scared sometimes too… Read More »

dog sitting in snow

Confessions About Mind Turds

I did not sleep well last night.

I was thinking about the inefficiency of one of our departments, the leader’s lack of attention to it, and how I would fix it.

I was thinking about our family’s jam-packed fall schedule and the pressure I feel to keep scheduling events.

I was thinking about my own insecurities as I work on making business travel more sustainable long-term. What will the team think?

I was thinking about this blog. How can I make it more useful for the reader? Will I get push-back for being more open about my faith? Does that matter?

I woke up groggy at 4:57 a.m. I said my prayer, drank my protein shake, and headed to the gym. A police officer was driving through our neighborhood, which never happens, and he was only driving 13 MPH.

It was 5:17 a.m. Nobody goes 13 MPH.

Nobody is even up at that time.

My mind began racing again:

Really dude? REALLY? That’s all I could think at first (or at least it is all I feel comfortable sharing here).

Then: I’m going to be late to work. I won’t have time to write a blog post 43 people might read. I am not going to have time to walk our floor prior to our 8 a.m.meeting. That team will think I don’t care. I’m such a failure for thinking about this stuff!

Why is this guy really still going 13 MPH??? Thank Jesus that he just turned left! Isn’t that what Jesus would care about this morning?

Get it together man.

I made it to the gym after hitting every stop light en route.

This also ticked me off. Who programs the lights? It is 5:29 a.m. now.

Maybe I am crazy, but I pray out loud in these situations. I confessed to God that I was in a major hurry. I confessed that I was self-centered, that I often vent – otherwise known as gossip – to my wife and others about the issues I see at work. Worst, I confessed that I often am a coward because I don’t have the conversation with the person I have the issue with.

As I lifted weights, I realized what this kind of thinking was. My wife won’t approve of this terminology, but this kind of thinking is nothing more than a “mind turd.”

I know, this is a juvenile, and gross, expression.

But, so is this kind of thinking. And so is the kind of person I become when I think this way.

Not only are these expressions not productive, like the excrement left by the neighbor dog in the yard, these expressions leave brown spots in my mind. They produce nothing more than anxiety, anger, stress, bitterness, hurriedness, and selfishness.

If I am not careful, and if I dwell on these mind turds long enough, I begin acting like a turd myself.

So, why not call this what it is?

Why not change?

Why not get perspective?

Why not create habits of mind that will produce something healthy and green?

Like I learned earlier, it always begins choosing to think differently.

The next time you are in a similar situation, flush.

And start anew.

(Postscript: I still made it to work at 7:30 a.m., and by then I was fired up and in a positive frame of mind. Thank goodness, I caught myself, reset, and refused to bring the turds with me to the office and dump them on that lawn!)

Confessions About Mind Turds Read More »

computer equipment

Why Our ERP Implementation Went Well

We recently implemented a new ERP (enterprise resource planning) system. While the team continues to work on minor glitches, here are the reasons the implementation went well (and I had NOTHING to do with it!).

1. We hired an expert. 

Our strategic planning team decided the time had come to implement a new ERP system a few years ago. A few on our team, including me, were hesitant to actually go through with the implementation for all the right reasons (the toll on the people, the risks associated with it, and the overall complexity). This all changed when one of our team members discovered a former acquaintance was a “free agent.” This person had tremendous experience in implementing ERP systems, so we pursued and hired them. At the outset, we made ERP implementation this person’s primary job function. They got the team on board, helped us pick a good system, and worked diligently with my sister, Gretchen, to ready the organization. In retrospect, hiring this individual was an incredibly smart thing for us to do. We aren’t that smart all the time, and often fall victim to not hiring the expert because we are concerned, rightfully, about increased overhead. This is a reminder that hiring the expert is sometimes worth the expense.

2.  We empowered the bench. 

Besides hiring the superstar, we empowered several people in the organization to step up. We even created a new role for one individual, an idea which was initially met with some resistance. Ironically, as the months went by (we planned this implementation for 12 months), this individual received some of the highest praise in the organization. Their energy, positivity, and willingness to work around-the-clock was infectious. What it taught us was that empowering the bench always uncovers hidden talent. In fact, my guess is that everyone reading this blog has some undiscovered talent on their bench. So, why not empower people on your team?

3.  The rest of us let the team do their thing. 

I work very closely with my two sisters. As I mentioned above, the ERP implementation team ultimately reports up to the person we hired to take the lead (our expert), and my sister Gretchen. My other sister, Charlotte, and I were not part of that team. Nor were some of the other people on our executive strategic planning team. Instead of muddying the water, or staying involved so we felt important, we allowed the team do what it needed to do. In fact, we focused on doing the one thing Gretchen asked us to do: we always talked about the ERP launch from a positive viewpoint. As leaders, we wanted to be supportive realizing that the launch would be difficult, and we did not want to add negativity to an already complex launch. This kind of support does not cost anything, and only requires a little discipline. Most importantly, it communicates support, and belief, to the team doing the hard work.

I’m sure there were other reasons the launch succeeded. The ERP system that we implemented, IQMS, also had a terrific team that helped us throughout the launch. They deserve credit, and mention, too.

So do all the people I am not mentioning above – people in every department at Hoffer Plastics. Without ALL OF THEM, all the above simply would not have mattered. We never take their energy, effort, and attention to detail for granted. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!

On a personal level, this experience reminded me that I don’t have to be part of everything going on in the business. Notice that “being a part,” is different from “being on board,” and “being supportive.” The latter two are non-negotiable.

I also learned, again, how important hiring an expert is. Further, I was reminded that we have hidden talent throughout the organization. Thus, it is my job to present opportunities to uncover such talent!

I hope these lessons help you when your organization launches its next initiative.

Why Our ERP Implementation Went Well Read More »

group of friends from behind

Everyone Needs Friends (Including Leaders!)

One of the things that bugs me is how isolated we are becoming as a society. Don’t get me wrong—we assume that we are more connected than ever in the age of Facebooking, Fortnight gaming, and hosts of other ways to be “connected.” As adult business leaders, we all agree: kids relying on these forms of connection aren’t really connected at all.

Neither are we.

What happened to genuine friendships?

(Stop right now and ask yourself who is your closest friend? When was the last time you had extended uninterrupted time with them? How did that make you feel?)

We all need friends. Two recent stories suffice here.

As I have mentioned before, Sarah and I lead a couples community group at our church. A few weeks back, one of the men texted the other men asking for prayer. He served in Afghanistan and Iraq, and experienced things unimaginable for the rest of us. The night prior to this request, he had reconnected with a fellow soldier who was in a bad spot. This reality was torturing his psyche. Upon receiving this text message, I called him up. I know this is probably weird to some reading this post, but I just called to pray – right there on the phone. Regardless of your beliefs around prayer, you can’t deny that we connected through that conversation. It was not as good as eyeball to eyeball, but he knew I—and the rest of the group—was there for him.

He had a friend.

A week later I was in the Netherlands. Jet-lagged, enduring persistent acid reflux symptoms, and beyond tired, I was struggling. It was about 7 p.m. at night and my attitude was toxic. “Hey bud, just want you to know I am praying for you right now,” read the text from my friend Larry. I had seen Larry a few days prior at our local Starbucks and I had told him about the upcoming trip, and my ongoing struggle with acid reflux. As corny as it may sound, that text message provided a jolt of encouragement at the right time. Yes, it would have been better to have seen someone in person, but like my friend above, just knowing someone was “with me” made all the difference.

Life is not supposed to be an isolation game.

We have communities for a reason.

I challenge you to consider who you can build into…

And who can build into you…

It is a two-way street, as all relationships should be.

Everyone Needs Friends (Including Leaders!) Read More »

woman walking down center line of road

Who Do You Need to Forgive

“Forgiving is letting the captive free only to realize that the captive was you.”

The quote above has been attributed to several people (Smedes, Eldridge, assuredly others) and leads to the question I want to pose today:

Who do you need to forgive?

I was recently listening to a favorite parenting podcast about teaching your kids forgiveness. But my mind moved to work, as it often does. Like a slap in the face, I realized there was someone I was not forgiving.

Their actions were subtle. To be sure, they’re not immoral actions. Just enough to create tension. Or put more accurately, enough to hold me captive.

I am the problem.

Not them.

For I was allowing my perceptions of what they were doing to get under my skin. And the ugly thing is that, despite my best attempts to hide, this was producing in me all the kinds of things that I write about on this blog: gossip, discontentment, frustration —which is the politically correct way of saying I was pissed off.

In the next post, I am going to turn to anger and how becoming the captive—not forgiving—gives the other person the power. But for now, I want to focus on forgiveness.

Forgiveness is releasing the grudge. It severs the anchor and releases the ship back to sea. It allows you to steam ahead to the future.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. In fact, forgiveness is a more intense version of remembering than it is forgetting. It simply remembers in the proper context: This happened. I felt this way. I contributed this to the situation—we are always culpable to a certain extent. And still, it releases the feelings of anger, bitterness, and the necessity to have a bottle of antacid by us at all times.

To be sure, it is not magic. Like water, it is best to consume daily. And when the temperature is turned up, it is best to have a big jug of it with you at all times.

The only question left to ask is who do you need to forgive?

Stop whatever you are doing and write that name down.

Set yourself free.

Who Do You Need to Forgive Read More »

problems written on post it notes

The Necessity of a Disastrous Prototype

I’ll never forget my first sales experience in product development. Our product design engineer had created an incredible concept for a new product we hoped to introduce to the market. It was savvy, sharp, and initial feedback was incredibly positive. Before long a big brand had signed on and we were off to the races! The honeymoon would not last long….

The prototype did not work as we expected. Specifically, the concept for tamper evidence did not function properly. We were under the gun as the brand needed product in the big-box stores for their fall launch. I had never experienced stress to that magnitude before.

I felt like we had somehow failed. I did not feel like anyone on the team had individually failed. In fact, I loved working with that team! They went all out, working around the clock—weekends included—as one person even skipped their niece’s wedding! I just felt a sense of obligation to “get it right” for the customers (in this case there were multiple parties involved). Our “delays” were really stressing them out, to put it mildly, and that was further giving us a sense of foreboding.

Thankfully, we somehow pulled it all together in the end. And the product that we ended up with was in many ways better, especially the tamper evidence, than the original concept. Many of us commented at the time that we “hope we learn our lessons” and “never go through this again.”

We were wrong.

What I have come to realize is that the “disaster” is a necessary attribute of product development.

The “disaster” experience is not a mistake. It is, and should be, part of the creative process. Getting it right the first time not only limits creativity, but also assures mediocrity. It robs the team of its creative prowess. (And it is always a team. Pixar, Apple, IDEO, it does not matter. The solo-creator is one of the most damaging myths in the business community).

I encourage leaders to understand this reality. It is not helpful when we get all pissy because engineers are once again sitting in the conference room making a product better. (Note how silly that sounds). Demanding that “they get it right” the first time is a complete misunderstanding of how the creative process works. We need to rather focus our attention and energy on building the appropriate time and budget into the project.

This, of course, might not be possible in manufacturing. In the story above, we kicked off the second week of February and had to deliver parts by the first week of August. There was no room for negotiation, it was “take it or leave it.” In retrospect, as the commercial lead, I should have been more forthcoming with the brand about the expected turbulence to come. I should have set the table more realistically. They might not have liked such honesty, they might had even considered working with someone less honest. But like the passenger who has been informed of the upcoming turbulence before take-off, they probably would have felt more assured about who was flying the plane when the turbulence inevitably came.

Similarly, as leaders, we need to set the table more realistically internally when the next developmental project begins. We need to expect the twists, turns, and inevitable bouts with turbulence. We need to realize that most ideas—most blog posts even—suck at first. We need to encourage our team to “make things better” nevertheless.

That assumes, of course, that getting better is part of our plans.

Mediocrity demands less. Mediocrity is even okay with “good enough.”

Let’s not be.

Let’s embrace the disaster, and get better.

The Necessity of a Disastrous Prototype Read More »