Alex Hoffer

July 4th and My Papa

If I could do anything this 4th of July, it would be the same thing I would choose any other year: spend one more day with my Papa. He has been gone since 2005, and I always think of him on July 4th because his birthday was the following day. 

Papa was a man who served in World War II, worked his entire life in his father-in-law’s pharmacy, and was an avid baseball fan. More importantly, he was married for 61 years to my grandmother and an amazing father and grandfather. 

These characteristics are worth celebrating on July 4th:  

Service

Our veterans demonstrate the American value of service at the highest level. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). 

Work

Working the same job for decade after decade takes grit. Both of my grandfathers exhibited this kind of grit and along with millions of others, built the fabric of a country worth celebrating on July 4th.  

Baseball 

People will come Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom….The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again.” 

Although the above is fiction from the movie “Field of Dreams,” I often look at baseball and am reminded of the progress of America. Perfect? Of course, not. But a work in progress just like our national pastime. 

Family

The most important of human relationships we have! America is best when we are best for those we most cherish. Building the family, keeping it secure, and making it a place of safety, frees people up to thrive. And this is worth celebrating on the 4th of July! 

While July 4th may have been a week ago, I still wish all the readers of this blog a Happy Fourth of July. Treasure your family, and make some memories over the summer. I will do the same as I remember Papa and dream of watching one more baseball game with him.

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A Message of Encouragement

Earlier this year, I had an extremely difficult day. I won’t go into the details but suffice it to say it was the hardest work day in 2023. I definitely could’ve used some encouragement that day — and when I awoke the next day, this message was at the forefront of my mind. I’m sharing it with you now in the hopes that if you find yourself needing encouragement, these words can offer you some solace and hope: 

Don’t give up.

I know we have all heard that too many times before. But it still applies. 

  • Your heart may tempt you that your circumstances need to change. 
  • Your eyes may tempt you via social media that others have it better. 
  • Your brain may tempt you that you do not have what it takes. 
  • Your soul may tempt you that you need to give up. 

Welcome to life. 

  • Change yourself. This makes a bigger impact than changing your circumstances.   
  • Celebrate others’ highlight reels while also realizing everyone has moments they would rather not publish on social media. 
  • Believe better is possible. Reopen your brain for business! 
  • And remind yourself of who and what has gotten you to this point. 

Dancing on a Monday

As I write this, Monday is approaching — and I cannot wait. 

Bring it on, and let’s dance. 

I am not a good dancer, but we are dancing on Monday! 

Why? 

Because we are alive. 

So, let’s act like it. 

My invitation is to embrace this message. 

Accept this challenge. 

You can dance too.

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The Dad List 2023

Random thoughts of a 41-year-old father of three (presently aged 6, 9, and 11)  

  1. Tell your kids you love them with words. They still need to hear it. 
  2. Walk close to your kids that want to walk close, and let your kids that want to walk ahead do so. Parenting is a simultaneous combination of closeness and looseness.   
  3. Always point out what your kids are doing right on the sports field, in school, or at home. Positive affirmation will help them grow more than negative correction. 
  4. Correct their character when it needs correction. This sounds contrary to number three, but it isn’t. Character is much deeper than “form” or “performance.”  
  5. Loving their mom wholeheartedly may be the best way to serve your children. 
  6. Hug your kids before bed every night. 
  7. Explain the “why” behind the decisions you make. Help them to understand the decision-making process so they can use it themselves. 
  8. Loosen the reins as they get older. Remind them that the reins are only loosened with trust but lead them in the transition from “rule-based obedience” to “personal discipline.” 
  9. Cast a vision of what being an adult looks like — things like taking responsibility, leading yourself, and effectively managing money, among MANY other things we’ve talked about this year.
  10. Model the joy of learning. Talk about what you are reading, listening to, and learning. 
  11. Model the positive use of technology. Put your phone away during a one-on-one conversation, or explain why you are answering an email at a professional sports event. Obviously, the goal is not to be. But modeling how — and more importantly, why this is OCCASIONALLY (emphasis intended) necessary is essential as they prepare for a technology-dominated future.   
  12. Demonstrate what a Sabbath looks like. The world is non-stop, so explain why and even how you rest. 
  13. Humanize people in the news through the lens of grace. Try to explain opposing viewpoints in a way that gives them the proper respect. This is counter-cultural and Biblical. 
  14. Try to make your kids laugh from time to time. I occasionally achieve this by talking in a funny voice (I do impersonations if I’m in the right mood!), gently poking fun at them, and talking trash when I dominate them in basement basketball. 
  15. Tell them you love them with words. They still need to hear it. Yes, I am repeating number one, but this is the most important thing. So do it twice. 

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“The Process is Fearless”

I recently read a biography of baseball manager Joe Maddon called “The Book of Joe.” The book is filled with actionable leadership advice on topics ranging from how the baseball manager creates the team culture to how to put players in positions to be their best. If you think about it, a baseball manager does things with and through other people 100% of the time. After all, the manager is not the one batting at the plate with the game on the line — the players are. 

Of the many things Joe Maddon is known for, his catchphrases stand out. When he was managing the Cubs, “Try not to suck” became a t-shirt seen all over Chicagoland. Others that stand out are “Don’t ever permit the pressure to exceed the pleasure,” “Don’t interfere with greatness,” and “The process is fearless.” I’ll focus on the latter in today’s post. 

The Mid-Year Unhinging

I am posting this blog toward the midpoint of the year on purpose. Is it me, or does this time of the year always feel like when things become a little unhinged? The winter months tend to make us slow down, whereas the onset of better weather usually brings more to do. Whether that’s kids’ activities, the business conference “season,” or a variety of other factors, it is easy to start feeling overwhelmed and tired by June. It is easy to ask ourselves, “What were my intentions going into this year anyway?” 

If we are not careful, it is easy to start thinking about all the demands of the future.

  • Will the economy ever rebound? 
  • How will our business grow with these conditions? 
  • How can I keep going amid all the to dos that don’t stop even on the weekend? 

Or, we may be tempted to think of the past.

  • As hard as the supply chain crisis was, our business was thriving in 2021. 
  • The early days of our product line brought so much opportunity and excitement! 
  • I don’t miss the winter weather, but I actually had weekends in January. 

Stay in the Moment

The process is fearless was Joe Maddon’s way of reminding his team to first stay in the moment. Second, it is a reminder to focus on the process, not the results. Finally, it brings the brain and emotions back into alignment. 

After all, the ego enjoys the past, and thoughts of the future feed anxiety. Staying in the moment calms the ego and uproots anxiety. 

A fun thing I am doing on the side this spring is helping assistant coach my son’s baseball team. One of our goals as coaches is to try to help our kids stay in the moment. Our head coach, who hasn’t yet read Maddon’s book, still began our spring with a similar saying for our kids to internalize: “Win the next pitch.” 

I will close this post with this idea because it is the exact sentiment that Joe Maddon was trying to convey: “The process is fearless.” Whether you are an 11-year-old who just struck out or a professional that just hit a ball 500 feet, “Win the next pitch” is a mindset that keeps one focused on the present.

Thank you for taking a few moments to read this post. I encourage you to take a deep breath and focus on the process of your work. Win the next “pitch. Repeat the deep breath, and go again. 

Cheesy? 

Perhaps. 

But staying in the moment was how the Chicago Cubs ended 100-plus years of futility. Maybe Joe Maddon was on to something after all? 

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The Identity Mall

There is a mall that I go to often. My daughter does not even know what a mall is, so I should explain for any of my younger readers that it is a place people used to go to to buy things. The mall I unintentionally go to is unique, and it is called the Identity Mall.

The Identity Mall is open 24/7, and shopping there is especially inviting when you are feeling low. It is a place where everything is on sale, yet everything ends up costing more than the price you pay. Still, its shops are so enticing that I am often tempted to shop.

The Success Shop

There is the success shop. It promises that success will help me feel secure and satisfied. It is a place where all my dreams will come true! If I am honest, I have often been tempted to blow all my savings here. “If only,” I think.

The Approval Shop

Sometimes, however, I shop at the approval shop. It can be awkward with its floor-to-ceiling mirrors. However, I can get past this as people are inside the store cheering me on no matter what I do. They don’t even care if what I am doing is healthy. And their cheering certainly feels good to me. But the only way to keep it going is to keep shopping there.

The Pleasure Shop

This gets tiring after a while, so I head to the pleasure shop. The seats inside this shop are the most comfortable seats I have ever sat in! To top it off, the people inside the store serve the best wine, and give me a catalog outlining potential golf trips I could take, or new cars I could buy. The possibilities for pleasure are immense. But I often start feeling guilty about all of it, so I move on to the next shop. 

The Family Shop

Around the food court and playground is the biggest shop yet, the family shop. Finally, one that feels just about right. To my surprise, my three kids are already inside this shop. There is nothing to buy here, however, only the kids. The kids become the product, as it is up to them to make my identity feel good. My goodness, one of them is running to the success store to buy something. The other just sprinted to the approval store. I am getting out of here before the third runs somewhere else.

But where do I go now? 

The Past and the Future

At the end of the hall, there is even a bigger store simply called “the past.” It looks like an old movie theater. Actually, it has all the good smells from 1980-something — buttered popcorn, candy, and sugary soda or pop (not deciding that argument here). And the previews show the highlight reel from my golf “career.” It is kind of awkward that it is showing that. It must say something about me?

Next door is the same setup, but it’s called “the future.” No one is going inside this theater, however. People are just pacing and talking to themselves. The future seems to make everyone nervous. I think I have had enough of this place.

This place always costs more than it is worth. 

Where Are You Shopping? 

Welcome back to reality. The Identity Mall may not be a real place, but it is certainly a place I have been before. Of course, it always happens subconsciously. I share the above to simply ask this question: 

Where are you shopping for your identity? 

Spend time reflecting on this question this week. 

While I cannot answer for you, I find the most peace when I return to my faith in Jesus. You can judge for yourself, but for me, it takes looking to him and understanding the price for which I was bought, to free me to be free.

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Memorial Day Thoughts from a Veteran Who Made it Back Home

The following is a post written by my friend, and Veteran, Matt Mason:

It has been ten years since I left Camp Lejeune for the last time — and when Memorial Day rolls around, my family, friends, and colleagues often ask me how they can thank me as a veteran. What is the best way to honor those who have served our country?

The answer I give often surprises people. I believe we should live (and live freely) in a country that has always loved, honored, and fought for freedom. We have fought for our freedom of religion, of speech, of the press, and of our right to assemble, to name a few. The best way to thank a veteran is to actively enjoy those freedoms — don’t take them for granted — and ensure we pass them along to the next generation.

Honoring the Fallen

But this Memorial Day, I want to remind you of something else — a piece that sometimes gets lost in all of the political rhetoric, the photo ops, or the latest Applebees-sponsored free lunch for veterans. I want to remind you that Memorial Day is about those who DIED in the course of service for the very freedoms that we possess and enjoy.

One of the most sobering moments of my life was in November 2009. I had just finished the Marine Corps marathon the day before, and my wife and I stopped at Arlington Memorial Cemetary on our way back to North Carolina. Walking on stiff, achy legs through thousands of crosses on a breezy, cool day brought me an overwhelming sense of peace and humility. It was awe-inspiring to see the number of men and women there who have been laid to rest, many of them perishing in the heat of battle. To this day, the moment is seared into my memory as an example of what it means to memorialize the fallen.

The Healthy Side of Survivor’s Guilt

My days of military service have long since passed, but I would be lying if I said I don’t live with some guilt about surviving my three combat deployments. Most combat veterans do — some of it healthy, some of it not. The healthy side of that guilt motivates me to make the most of my life and never to stop living, enjoying, and teaching others about our freedoms. The healthy side of it reminds me of the eternal hope we have on this side of heaven. 

God obviously had a different plan for me, so what will I do with it? That is a question that we can answer at another place and time. Is it fair that some return home from the fight and some do not? I’m uncertain there is enough human wisdom to answer that question in a way that would make sense. Our God makes his feelings known on this subject, “Greater Love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13. 

The men I served with were my teammates, brothers, and friends. We loved each other and would gladly have given our lives for each other. Maybe those who have given their life in service to this country are reaping the reward of knowing they laid down their life for their friends, fellow Americans, and fellow man. Let’s honor them this Memorial Day.

God Bless,

Matthew J Mason

Capt. USMC

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The Leader Layer 

I often bear my soul on this blog, and today will be one of those occasions. 

I was walking our production floor the other day, and it got me thinking about how a leader needs to listen to feedback in real time. They have to do more than just hear this feedback. They need to be able to relate to the person giving feedback and willing to occasionally change when change is needed. 

As I’ve thought more about this, I started to think about this in terms of leaders developing a layer of their personality that allows them to listen to, relate to, and accept the feedback of others. I’m calling this the “leader layer,” and I found myself relying on that leader layer several times last week; here are two examples.

Feedback and the Leader Layer

The first example is a positive one. I went out for my production floor walk at 7 AM on Tuesday and was forewarned that one of our long-time team members was going to seek me out to share their thoughts on a policy they’d been gently reprimanded about the previous week. When I arrived at their work area, I sought them out instead. I asked them how they were doing, which allowed them to tell me why they were not doing well. I listened. I sought to understand their point of view and even agreed with some of their frustration over how the message had been delivered. Still, the policy needed to be followed. Now that they felt heard, they were on board. 

This was an easy win. But what happens when the feedback is a little more personal to me?  

Example two: Also last week, I was working on a company update. I shared it with my sisters, and their feedback was it was too long. This wasn’t hard to accept — I realize brevity is not one of my strengths! 

At the same time, I’d shared a blog post with friends whose opinions I deeply value. Two are book authors, so I was anxious to get their views. And guess what — they thought the blog post was too long! For the second time in twenty-four hours, I received the same feedback in terms of length. While their feedback about the overall content was positive, one of my friends pointed out that it could be even stronger if I cut about two-thirds of it. 

Here’s my confession: Hearing this feedback from my sisters and my friends gave me pause. Neither was especially harsh; they weren’t criticizing the content, just expressing concerns about the length! But as I mulled it over late one night, I realized their feedback brought up feelings of insecurity about my writing. 

Only after stewing over it for twenty-four more hours did I realize that internal struggle is the only path to growth. In fact, I had to ask the following questions to lead myself out of insecurity and back to the path of growth:

  • Is this feedback actionable? 
  • Is this feedback fair? 
  • Is this feedback a chance to grow my leader layer? 
  • Am I open to this feedback? 

The answer to all these questions was a resounding yes. 

Developing Your Leader Layer

The leader layer is comprised of feedback, coaching, and in some cases, scars from the past. It is a growth layer born from listening, relating, and acting on feedback. The thicker it becomes, the more you grow. But it’s different than having a “thick skin,” which implies that you can hear anything and let it bounce off of you — having a thick “leader layer” means you can hear things, think about them, and then change for the better when it makes sense.

The question you have to ask yourself is, are you open to this kind of feedback? Are you open to growing your leadership layer? 

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Mothers: The Original Leaders

As you know, this is a blog about leadership. Leaders are those worth following, and leadership is the process of doing things with and through other people. But the more I think about it, those characteristics also describe mothers! Let me share some examples of moms in action as we celebrate Mother’s Day. 

My Mom

My mom always made our home welcoming. My friends loved coming over because she made it that way! As my wife points out, my mom has the gift of being interested in what other people are interested in — this is one of the reasons she is worth following. She also cares about the community and regularly volunteered her time to help. This example is something I see in my sisters and something I work on modeling in my own life. I am blessed to have the mom I have! 

My Mother-in-Law

Watching my mother-in-law can be like watching a CEO lead a business. There is action everywhere, and the food is always prepped and ready for dinner. And the food is always great! More than this, thanks to her hospitality, her home feels like home to everyone who comes there. 

My mother- and father-in-law regularly welcome a staggering number of guests to their house — a true testament to their generous spirit. I am blessed to have the mother-in-law I have! 

My Wife

Then, there is my wife, Sarah. The day I met her, I said she was amazing, which was an understatement. Besides being brilliant, she is one of the kindest, gentlest, and most humble people I know. She cares deeply for others, especially our three kids. When the COVID-19 pandemic came, she embraced it with possibility thinking, “What does this make possible?” For Sarah, it made homeschooling possible. 

Sarah didn’t just dip her toe in the water with homeschooling — she dove in! Now our kids are several years into the homeschooling journey. Not only are they having fun with it, but they’re making a lot of progress. For example, our two boys are reading at a level I didn’t achieve until much older! I credit Sarah fully for that. 

Complicated Relationships

Reflecting on the amazing mothers in my life, I remember that not everyone shares in such positivity. Sometimes human beings get it wrong. 

So if you don’t have positive memories of your mother, just know that a Heavenly Father still loves you beyond human understanding or ability. 

Further, as Sarah has reminded me through her Tuesday morning Bible Study, there are women out there who can form the bond of sisterhood that approaches the level of intimacy one has with their mother. It can never replace it, but it can certainly help. Sarah’s leadership of this group is another thing I admire about her.   

Thank you, Mothers!

Happy Mother’s Day to all. Happy Mother’s Day to the mothers working from home or balancing careers and motherhood like my two sisters and our VP of Sales! Happy Mother’s Day to those I will never forget, like the memories of my two grandmothers and those you are thinking of as you read this post. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Leadership Failures Part Four: Failing to Lead from the Front

Today concludes my four-part series about leadership failures — here are parts one, two, and three. As a reminder, this series stemmed from thinking about my leadership failures in 2022. I am sharing them because I think the lessons are relevant to all leaders, and I hope this series will make you think about your own leadership and what you can do better.

Part 4: I Fail To Lead From the Front 

It’s crucial to find balance as a leader — not only making decisions, doing hard things, and serving as the leader — but also allowing those you lead to do those things. This dichotomy is something that leaders (including myself) struggle with, which was why I was delighted to read former Navy SEALs Jocko Willink and Leif Babin’s book about this topic, which helped influence and solidify my thoughts. As Jocko and Leif point out, every leader needs to follow at some point. 

Golf Caddy v. Head Coach

One of the things I encourage readers of this blog to do is to get to know themselves, their tendencies, and what they gravitate to. For example, my leadership style is more golf caddy than head coach — I like to set up a game plan with those who follow me (see the KRA mentioned in Leadership Failure Part 2) and then let them do the work or “hit the shots.” 

This is different than a head coach approach in several ways. Unlike a golf caddy, the head coach is there every step of the way. They might call a time-out and change strategy mid-game. They may critique performance during the game. They are much more hands-on in every regard.  

My golf caddy leadership style works well when the person I’m leading is a high performer, but not so well for those who need more constant input. So I need to get the hiring process right (something I’ll cover another time). 

What Does a Leader Do From the Front?

What I discovered in 2022, however, is that there are MORE potential weaknesses in my leadership style. I realized this by leading high performers. None of my direct reports performed poorly in 2022 — in fact, I would argue they performed very well! But this experience helped me clarify what my role needs to be going forward in the C-suite, surrounded by good leaders. (Note: even if you aren’t part of the C-suite, the three things I mention below still apply.) 

Think about this: If a leader is someone worth following, and leadership is the process of doing things with and through other people, what does a leader do from the front?

That depends. If the leader is surrounded by low performers, s/he could easily go back to doing the work. And this is tempting for leaders because “doing the work” is what they used to do and probably helped them earn their leadership position. But when you’re surrounded by high performers who are already doing the work and doing it well, what is a leader to do? 

Daily Vision

I’ve learned that my top priority is casting the vision. I know — many of my readers are saying, “Well, duh!” I said the same thing myself a year ago! But I’ve learned that I need to change the frequency of how often I cast that vision. I need to do it daily. 

Yes, daily. 

I need to cast vision every single day, and if you’re in senior leadership, so do you. The “Where are we going?” and “Why are we going there?” questions are the most important ones we need to answer on a daily basis. 

This is a more specific answer to the advice, “Work on the business and not in the business,” which sounds good but isn’t that helpful until you understand precisely what you need to work on. 

Leader-Only Activities

Next, there are activities that only you, the leader, can do. My executive coach shared with me the criteria that Dave Ramsey uses: 

  • What is broken? 
  • What is new? 
  • What is the brand? 

These “buckets” are out at the front, and the front is exactly where you need to be! Now this doesn’t mean you come in on a white horse when there’s a problem. You are not the hero — the heroes are the people doing the tasks. Your role is to be at the front, shielding the people from the blows. 

What does that mean? 

It means that you play the role of David against Goliath — you go to the battlefield first, willing to take on the giant’s wrath. Think about yourself as the Chief Relationship Officer: you meet with the disgruntled team member, the ticked-off customer, or the concerned community member. You shield your team from these things so they can spend time doing the work. 

This is neither easy nor glamorous, which is why many leaders give in to the temptation and go back to doing the work. The work feels better and is easier to measure. Constantly taking on Goliaths is harder to measure, harder to do, and harder to endure. 

But it’s what you need to do leading from the front. 

Affirm from the Front

Finally, a reminder that you need to affirm from the front. Giving affirmation may feel soft, but it’s one of the most challenging things you do when surrounded by good leaders. You may assume they don’t need encouragement or affirmation, but in reality, they probably aren’t getting it from anywhere else in the office. I make this statement because they, too, are leaders. So unless their followers are genuinely telling them what they are doing right, who is? 

You need to be that person. 

It is what makes you worth following. 

I’m not saying you say something that is not genuine or true. I am simply saying that thanking someone after they spent a week overseas visiting customers goes a long way.

In conclusion, leaders are out at the front, exposed, and willing to do the hard (and sometimes awkward) things. 

It is not glamorous. 

It is leadership. 

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Leadership Failures Part Three: Failing to Affirm

Leadership Failures Part 3: Failing To Affirm  

Today features part three in our four-part series about leadership failures. Our topic? Failing to affirm. 

Part 3: I Fail To Affirm 

This winter, our family made Sunday night “movie night.” But instead of watching a new movie every week, we have been watching “The Chosen.” The Chosen is a mini-series that depicts Jesus through the eyes of those that met him. Not only is the series extremely well done, but it also leaves you with the desire to drop everything and follow this Jesus. 

As I’ve watched the series, I have become convicted by the example of Jesus’ affirmation of those who followed him. His gentleness to Mary Magdalene, his acceptance of Matthew (the series does a good job of showing how vilified tax collectors were, and Matthew was a tax collector!), and too many other examples to share here. In all cases, Jesus affirmed the person whether they were outcast by society, cursing God for their plight, or just strong-willed like Simon Peter. I simply cannot get enough of this Jesus and want to be compassionate like him. 

The Last 5% of Affirmation

This series has made me look anew at my leadership, and I have to be honest, the realization I’ve come to is that I don’t affirm those I lead enough. There are no excuses for this, and this isn’t intended to be one. I am task-oriented with goals to conquer, and while I regularly spend time with those I lead, I fail to say the “last five percent” of affirmation.  

The last five percent are oftentimes words that the heart feels, but the mind says, “You can’t say that because it’s awkward.” Allow me to give a few examples — and ask yourself, when was the last time you said something like this to someone you lead?
 

  • You mean a lot to me. 
  • I appreciate having you on the team. 
  • Your presence on the team makes my work life better, and everyone in my life appreciates it. 
  • I am proud of the work you are doing. I see it. You are crushing it. 
  • There is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful to have you on our team. 

When was the last time you said any of the above? Maybe the words I used aren’t the words or phrases you would use. That’s fine — create your own. Make them your own. Unveil the real you, the “last five percent” you.  

Work is Human

I am not advocating that you do anything against your HR policy. Nor am I suggesting you do something that comes off as not genuine. I am simply suggesting that work is human, and humans crave affirmation. This has always been true, and I believe it is even more true now in our increasingly divisive society. 

Leadership is about doing the hard things because that is what makes you someone others want to follow. Affirming other human beings is one of those hard things. It shouldn’t be hard, but somehow it is. As awkward as it feels, push past your hesitation and open your mouth up. Tell people how much they mean to you. 

Say it from your heart. 

Share yourself fully in support of others. 

Doing this won’t guarantee business success, but it will make you the kind of person others want to follow. 

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