Leadership

One of my concerns as a father is how much our children tie performance to the love Sarah and I have for them. For instance, do we still love them when they strike out in little league? Or do we love them when their teacher points out a flaw in their school work? Of course the answer is a resounding YES, but do they understand and accept this?

The boys are currently eight and six respectively, so part of our almost-nightly winter routine is a fun game of floor hockey in our unfinished basement (in the summer it is whiffle ball outside!). In our games I have observed both boys seeking my approval when they make a good play. I have also noticed them sulking when they miss out on a play. They are competitive and work hard to beat me, but I don’t let them win —although I do let the six year old have some “freebies” when he needs some encouragement. My goal has been to drive home the reality than in sports and life you win and lose.

Because of this, winning has become a big deal to them when it happens. It has also come at a cost. For neither of them naturally handle losing well —yet. While this may be somewhat of a good thing —it produces a competitive spirit in them to get better and improve —it also is something that, as their dad, I need to help them learn to do well because life involves losing. In fact, as I have come to learn myself the hard way, basing one’s worth on performance is foolhardy because the moments of triumph are much less frequent than the moments of losing.

This is obviously hard for young kids to understand. If I am honest, it can also be hard for me to understand.

The combination of the boys looking for my approval when making good plays, and them sulking when losing, led me to create some controllable performance metrics to ingrain in them. I told them that these three things (I did not call them metrics!) were what matter to me. I share here because I think they are worth our — grown up business leaders — consideration. They are:

Safety

Effort

Fun

I explained to the boys that every sport they play needs to involve safety. Thinking from an organizational leadership perspective, I started here because safety has to be present for people to thrive. This is true in T-ball and what we do at Hoffer Plastics. Safety is paramount, and I want this to take root in them.

Effort comes next because it is the only controllable aspect of performance. Results are always a lagging measure. My belief is that they often do come when effort is there. Of course, they might not come on our preferred timeline (see my golf game), but they often do come.

I am driving the idea of effort into our boys because their default is to view my love in a positive outcome rather than in the effort. To drive this home, I have asked them if I would be mad if they struck out 3 times during a baseball game this spring, to which they both said “no,” as long as they were trying their best. Conversely, would I be upset if they got a big hit and didn’t run their hardest to first base? ”No,” our oldest chimed in. I then corrected this assumption to drive in the point that effort means running hard all the time. I could tell that this was surprising to him because he wants the big hit —don’t we all? Yet, this is the key distinction: effort > outcome.

Finally, life is short, and we need to make the best of it by having fun. This is true both in little league AND business. Yes, business! Fun involves having a positive attitude, being a good sport, and encouraging others. I also believe it comes in sequential order: Safety, Effort, and then fun because how can things be fun when we are not safe and/or trying our best? Fun also means laughing at our mistakes and picking others up when they make theirs. And in the context of youth sports, it means that if it is not fun, our family is not participating (Note to parents, I am driving this home to our kids because there is so much more to life than youth sports. I don’t care that “everyone else” is doing it. We are having fun, or not playing. Period).

I share these —safe, effort, and fun— because they are useful reminders to us leaders. For in order to be someone worth following we need to create environments where effort is the primary currency, and fun is a natural outcome of hard work cultivated in a safe working environment.

I recently heard Jerry Hurley say that at his organization trust is given, but it can be lost. This is 180 degrees reverse of the usual platitude that “trust is earned, never given.”

From an organizational health perspective, this is a game-changer. If trust is given, the potential implications can be staggering:

– The tone of every email is read differently

– The person leaving early, or arriving late, is assumed to have a really good reason for doing so

– The new policy that sounds vindictive was not intended to be

And on and on…

We live in a grudge-oriented world, where heart disease is once again on the rise, and the overall health of Americans is in decline.

Giving people the benefit of the doubt won’t fix these problems. But, why not assume the best until assuming the best no longer makes sense?

As far as trust goes, it is not earned.

Trust is rather a gift one gives to another, who in turn gives it back to the other person. It is a mutual covenant built on reciprocity, assurance, and predictability. Reliability is what is earned. But it starts with the gift.

Let’s extend that gift to our team-members.

Check out my YouTube channel for a daily, Christ-centered, check-in that offer #leadership insight, #encouragement for the day, and a reason for #hope. Or, just check out today’s video here.

September 19, 1796:

Friends and Fellow Citizens:

The period for a new election of a citizen to administer the executive government of the United States being not far distant, and the time actually arrived when your thoughts must be employed in designating the person who is to be clothed with that important trust, it appears to me proper, especially as it may conduce to a more distinct expression of the public voice, that I should now apprise you of the resolution I have formed, to decline being considered among the number of those out of whom a choice is to be made…

So begins George Washington’s “farewell address” to the new Republic. He goes on to urge Americans to avoid “excessive political party spirit” and “geographical distinctions.” Thank goodness we have mastered these since President Washington left office…

Seriously, on this President’s Day I am contemplating the humility of George Washington. Some historians have argued that he could have been King. Perhaps, perhaps not.

What is worth noting, what is even worth celebrating, however, is that George Washington DID step down.

This remarkable occurrence led to John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and on and on and on. (If you haven’t read a good book about these two you are simply missing out!)

The lesson for us:

To be someone worth following, you need to remember that you are not invincible. At some point down the road, someone will replace you. So, set them up for success. And always remember that If George Washington was replaceable, so are you!

Thank God for a Republic that models self-restraint.

May our organizations do the same.

Special note to Subscribers: Later this week I am going to send out a post on health (personal and organizational). It is a simple post with one key action. In other words, do this – the key action – so that you can do that – lead – well! I’ll post Wednesday or Thursday. If you haven’t already subscribed, please do. My goal is to have more communication with people that actually read the blog to understand what is helpful, and what it is not. The goal is for this blog to be helpful, obviously.

I recently promoted someone on our team to becoming the new Vice President of Sales. What this means for me personally is that I am no longer going to be as active in the day-to-day activities of the sales team. Because of this new reality, here are three shareable leadership ideas – as it relates to passing on leadership to others – that I have been contemplating lately.

First, “the job of leadership is to awaken the possibility in others,” says Benjamin Zander, the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra. In the vernacular of B.I.B., to be someone worth following you have to be someone that allows others to lead. The sign of a good Dictator is the lack of upward mobility and social unrest. The sign of a good leader, however, is a thriving team after the new person takes charge. Things should get better, not worse, for possibility has been awoken.

Secondly, as John the Baptist said about Jesus, “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30). In other words, egotism must be set aside. This is infuriatingly difficult for type A, self-starting, entrepreneurially-minded leaders. But to be someone worth following you need to become less so others can become more. The irony here is that we celebrate and applaud when Steve Jobs comes back to save Apple (1996), and when Howard Schultz comes back to save Starbucks in 2008– praise the Lord, we had our first kid in 2011. Did you know that Starbucks stock was trading at $19.12 at Will’s birth and now trades over $90 per share? Coincidence, I don’t think so! — But wouldn’t those stories have been even cooler if someone else on their teams had stepped up? Someone they had groomed? Obviously, Apple has more than survived Steve’s untimely passing, but aren’t they largely still selling updated versions of the products he, and others, created?

Finally, the name of this post comes from a song on my 2020 Spotify playlist (Background, by Lecrae). Admittedly, I am not a huge rap/hip hop fan —an admission that probably does not surprises my audience, I know. But Lecrae’s lyrics always challenge me to walk more closely with my Savior. So, while I will quote some lyrics to close this post on leadership, keep in mind that the context Lecrae is referring to while reading them (his relationship to God). In my life, these words have dual meaning:

Selected lyrics (click here for all)

I could play the background…

‘Cause I know sometimes I get in the way.

So won’t you take the lead, lead, lead?

Its evident that you run the show, so let me back down

You take the leading role, and I’ll play the background

I don’t need my name in lights, (Aye) I don’t need a staring role

Why gain the whole wide world, if I’m just going lose my soul.

Praying the whole world would start embracing stage freight

So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions

‘Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing

That’s I’m not that impressive, matter of fact

I’m who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar…

The day after noticing that one of our plants had too many parts on the floor, and mentioning that observation to our plant managers, I saw an entirely changed environment. The plants were organized, the parts were contained, and things were back to normal.

One plant in particular had made significant progress. So, I decided to write them a private note explaining how much their effort meant to me. I also explained why the parts on the floor were so bothersome to me; that while it may sound incredibly crazy to others, but to me I saw some of person x’s healthcare on the floor, person y’s bonus, and all of our ability to invest in future machines, infrastructure, and everything else, on the floor. It simply is more than a plastic part, and even if was just that, that would be enough because plastic waste is a serious issue this day and age (I am not being glib, it REALLY is an important issue). I ended the email telling this team how amazing they are for taking just quick action.

I did not think much of the email after I hit send, until the Plant Manager pulled me aside the following morning. “Your email changed the entire tone of the plant this morning. Three people came up to me and asked if I saw Alex’s email.”

I know this puts me in a positive light, but that is not my intent. My intent is to share the realization that my words, a leader’s words, whether written or spoken, are dissected, internalized, and digested by everyone they impact. This means that as leaders we cannot be callous. Further, we cannot just point out what is wrong. We have to look for, and talk about, what is going right. This is so basic, easy to understand, and yet, hard to do because the subconscious works against us sharing something that feels like juvenile behavior affirmation (“good job class!”). Yet, what others hear is validation for their work, and even therapy for their soul, because they know what they are doing is having an impact.

This is also why adults can remember the exact hurtful words said to them decades ago, and also have affection for grade school teachers whose names they may not even remember.

Words simply matter that much.

Use them wisely.

November 27, 2019:

3:45 p.m.

My shirt has a little bit of what appears to be a grease stain from shaking hands with people in the tool room this afternoon.

I hope the stain does not come out.

I hope it reminds me to get out on the floor, look people in the eyes, and thank them for their contribution to what we are doing here.

I was out there because tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for the people on our team. I struggle with how to show genuine thankfulness. Maybe they think I am just doing this because I read it in some leadership book? Maybe they think I am just doing what I saw my grandfather, and now father, do? Maybe they think my sisters and I are just trying to convince them that we care for them as much as Grandpa and Dad do?

In all honesty, I just want to do what’s right.

We wouldn’t have the company that we have without all the people on our team. I know my sisters feel the same way because we talk about the people when things get the hardest in the business. It is them, we tell ourselves, that makes all the hustle worth it.

I don’t know if wishing people a Happy Thanksgiving has a major impact. But I know it is the right thing to do.

And I know that the next time I see the stain on this shirt, I will be reminded to go out again on the floor.

Our team matters more to me than I can adequately put into words.

The sports world, and all of Chicago, were shocked when Walter Payton announced that he had a rare liver disease known as primary sclerosing cholangitis in February, 1999. “To the people that really care about me, just continue praying,” a courageous, but noticeably emotional, Payton told the world that day.

I grew up watching Walter Payton highlights as I ate breakfast most mornings. I then imagined myself doing the things Walter did on the football field: stopping on a dime, plowing through a linebacker to earn a few more yards, or jumping high over defenders and landing softly in the end-zone for another touchdown. To me, he was and is, the greatest all-around football player to ever play the game. Who else can run, block, throw, catch, and even soar, like Walter Payton?

No one.

But Walter was also human. And on that day in February 1999, the human side of him was on display for the entire world to see. His voice shook, his tears flowed, and the emotion was palpable. I remember feeling incredibly sad myself, even talking about it with my parents at dinner that night.

As I think about it now, more than twenty-years later, Walter Payton’s press-conference announcing his disease to the world was the first time in my life that I saw vulnerability demonstrated so shamelessly on television. Payton was entirely real, and genuinely human. And, his example showed me that it was okay to be so myself.

Nowadays, I prefer to remember Walter Payton high-stepping his way to another touchdown rather than the aforementioned moment of him announcing his disease to the world. But it is no question that the latter had much more of an impact on my life than the former.

To be someone worth following, you have to lean-in to your fears, your thoughts, and even your emotions. We follow those who are this way because life isn’t about being put together, it is about being real. Life, after all, is messy and occasionally frightening. So, let’s smile when something amazing happens, laugh when we hear something funny, and cry when life throws us a punch.

Walter Payton did, and I became an organ donor when I turned 18 because of it.

Walter was someone worth following.

Are you?