Alex Hoffer

When I think about you, the first thing that comes to mind is your joy for life. 

This was tested very early on when you were diagnosed with RSV. Things got so bad that you were admitted to the hospital for five days. Mom would stay with you every night as I drove home to be with Will. It was the week before Christmas, the road was dark, and I was scared. Every time I sat behind that car’s wheel, I prayed for your health. I pleaded. I worshiped. I asked God to give me the strength to trust in the darkness. Obviously, you made it home. And it might have been the most special Christmas Eve of my life. 

What I learned from that experience is worth sharing. First, there is no hope outside Jesus. In that moment, I had no control over the outcome. Of course, someone could argue that you got lucky and that the “world” just worked in your favor. I do not have enough trust in that kind of thinking. I trust in Jesus because, like making a mess of your LEGOs a few years later, I’ve sometimes made a mess of my life. I was wild. I looked for “fun” in places that led to pain. Then I was always surprised at my social circle’s disapproval of my actions, the same actions they had sold me on being “fun.” It made me feel discarded. But Jesus never discarded me. He accepted me when few outside my family would. This is grace. 

As your father, I want to protect you from disease and mistakes. But these things are going to happen. You will have to choose for yourself what you believe in and who you trust. But I will always pray that you choose Jesus. And you should know that without Jesus, my life would be totally different from what it is today. There is no way that I would have ever married your mother outside of meeting Jesus first. Therefore, had I not met Jesus, you would not exist.

The other lesson I learned from you being in the hospital was about God’s love for His children. Some have wondered — how can God love everyone equally? As I drove home during the dark nights you were in the hospital, my heart throbbed with love for your mother. Her strength glorified Jesus. I longed for my little buddy (at the time) Will, and leaving you felt desperately difficult. My mind could not even conceive then, in December 2013, of the deep love I would have for Sadie in the future. 

The point I am making is that I discovered Jesus really can love ALL his children — and so can I. As our middle child, you must know how deep and wide our love is for you. Who do we love the most? Yes, we love you all! 

When I look at your future, I have no idea what you will do. The possibilities are endless. On one hand, I see so many similarities to myself. On the other hand, I see giftedness I have never had, like your ability to build things. When you put your mind to something, your potential is staggering. 

To be clear, however, what you do in the future does not matter that much to me. You can become the most successful business person, builder, or sports announcer, and I won’t love you any more. You can be completely “mediocre” or do something the world pays little attention to, and I won’t love you any less. 

What I do care about is the kind of man that you become. I pray that you love Jesus. I pray that you work hard, not for men or personal gain, but because you aim to glorify the Lord, and steward what he has given you. I pray that you are trustworthy and faithful. I pray you are the kind of man people know will do the right thing. 

I also pray that you use your gift of talking to encourage others. 

Finally, our recent conversation stands out and captures the essence of my last piece of advice. You were talking to me about how we would play together in a member/guest team golf tournament. You said, “The strategy would be simple. You (meaning me!) would hit the safe shot, and I would hit the aggressive shot.”

Ben, never stop being aggressive. 

Aggressively pursue your goals and relationships. 

And above all else, aggressively pursue Jesus. 

Jesus will, in return, give you the abundant life. 

I love you, 

Dad 

Every year, as I celebrate my birthday, I also practice thanksgiving for my many blessings. What am I thankful for? 

I am thankful that when I was at my lowest moment in college, a peer aggressively challenged my lifestyle and what it meant to be a Christian. Their tactics were, perhaps, judgmental. But they did what was required to awaken me. 

I am thankful for the youth pastor at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California, who challenged me to start attending a local church.  Combined with the experience above, my life went in a different direction. Willow Creek Community Church nudged me into Christian community. 

I am thankful for August 19, 2005, and for God’s providence in having me run into Sarah. It turned out to be one of the most pivotal days of my life. We married on June 30, 2007. 

I am thankful for my parents, sisters, grandparents, and extended family. In many ways, I hit the jackpot on everything — except maybe hair genes.

I am thankful for all the school administrators who failed to call me back in 2007 and 2008, or flat-out told me that I was not good enough to teach at their school. This put a fire in my belly that has not diminished over time. It gifted me the constant reminder that Mondays are “Thank-God-I-have-a-job” days and that work is both dignified and a blessing. Their “no” led me to reconsider my “no” to other options, which turned into the best “yes” of my working life.

I am thankful for the opportunity my dad gave me to come work at Hoffer Plastics in 2008. I am thankful that I spent the first four weeks on the production floor, became lifelong friends with two guys out there, and then spent the rest of the year doing front office jobs that were, quite frankly, gritty, boring, and still necessary. I look at those jobs and the people doing those jobs, and I have a strong appreciation for the work being done. 

I am thankful for all the people I get to work with at our company, our customers, and our suppliers. I meet so many interesting people across the globe. In fact, had you told me in 2008 what a global job this is, I wouldn’t have believed you. I am so thankful for this, as it has grown me in all ways. 

I am thankful for my three kids. They have grown me in ways that I cannot adequately count here. I love them fully. I am thankful that I get to write the birthday letters to them, as that has become a fun tradition. 

I am thankful for my local church and my community there. I have been reminded of it during the past month as I have walked through some tough times with people on our team at Hoffer Plastics. 

I am thankful for another year of life. I am thankful that I am in my mid-forties. 

I am thankful for today. 

Dear Will, 

One of my fondest memories of Grandpa Hoffer has nothing to do with Hoffer Plastics. Instead, it has to do with playing nine holes of golf with him regularly when he was in his early 80s. 

The deal was that we would play with his good friend, Al, and the three of us would typically play nine holes before having lunch and talking about golf. I always left those days with a little bit of Grandpa’s wisdom about golf and life. Playing a round of golf with Al, a Masters Tournament season ticket holder for decades, would be like getting a lesson in golf history. If only I could play nine more holes with those two! 

Similarly, I have enjoyed watching you play golf with your grandpa. You have the fortune of playing with him while he can still play well, despite what he tells you when the two of you are on the course. My advice is to suck up every lesson and enjoy it. I also advise you to soak up the time with your Papa when he is in town or you are in Dayton. You are blessed to have both of your grandpas and your two grandmothers in your life. 

I point this out as you celebrate birthday number 14, because you are now bearing witness to the speed — and, quite frankly, brevity — of life. To quote the philosopher Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” 

Therefore, I advise you to rip up your to-do list every once in a while and go to that 1:20 p.m. start at Clark and Addison. 

I entirely understand and appreciate your discipline and attention to your plan. Having said that, hear this warning from an uptight 43-year-old: you need to be flexible. Not every day is going to go the way you planned, and leaving room for some spontaneity keeps life fresh and fun. One of my all-time favorite Cubs games came about when a friend called me at 1 p.m. on a Sunday in 2005, interrupting my graduate studies. By 1:20 p.m. I was sitting 24 rows back in the shallow left outfield. I had time to study later — and I did — but I would not have had another time with those guys at that game. 

Similarly, this advice will serve you well as you start to play more competitive golf. Another famous quote, this time by Mike Tyson, also applies to golf: “Everyone has a plan until they are punched in the face.” Playing competitive golf is a lot like signing up for getting punched in the face. Golf, after all, is a game of recovery. The best can take the body blows to their plan, recover, and stick with it despite the challenges. Golf prepares you well for life because it teaches you to confront obstacles, embrace challenges, and keep going despite setbacks. 99.99% of golf rounds are that. 

To be sure, you have an incredible amount of talent for golf. Your potential is vast. I will be cheering you on along the way, even when you begin to regularly beat me. And to be certain, that day is coming quickly. 

Having said that, let’s get a few things straight once again. 

I will not love you more if you make the PGA tour. 

I will not love you less if you quit golf today. 

I am not banking on you getting a golf scholarship; there is no pressure to play golf in college. 

I care most about the kind of person you are, your work ethic, and whether you stick to your commitments to others. 

I pray most for you to know Jesus, follow Him, and live a life that glorifies Him. 

The lesson I have learned most in leadership (and parenting) is how much I need to repeat messages like this. So, forgive me as you will continue to hear this a lot. 

You will also hear this: I love you. I cannot imagine life without you. I am extremely proud of you, and that has nothing to do with anything you do. 

This next year, I invite you to be an encourager of your brother Ben and sister Sadie. Imagine a few years down the road when they are telling people how much encouragement they receive from their older brother Will. Isn’t that the kind of man you want to be? 

Your mother and I are incredibly proud of you and love you more than we can share here. 

Love, 

Dad  

Dear Sadie, 

Just hours before your mom and I learned you were a girl at her doctor’s appointment, my grandmother, Jean Rue, passed away. JJ, as she liked to be called, was 98 years old. She believed your mother was having a girl, and she was correct. Hence, you were named Sadie Jean Hoffer.  

I often call you “Jean,” and you wonder why. There are countless reasons. One is that you often remind me of JJ, and another is that I will always miss her. She made me promise I would never forget her, and that is about the easiest promise I have ever made. 

As I think about your 9th birthday, the passage of time, and the joy of having you as my only daughter, I think another easy promise to make is that I will never stop loving you. My love for you is like the deepest well this side of heaven. 

If there is anything better than cuddling next to you on the couch, I have not found it. I know those experiences are fleeting, and I suspect they won’t happen as much (or possibly at all) in the coming years. I just hope the future you realizes how much they meant to me. 

Watching you dance this year has brought unexpected joy into my heart. I say it was unexpected because I did not think seeing my daughter dance around the house could have that impact. But, it does. 

To that end, the song that came to mind when I was thinking about your birthday this year is Lee Ann Womack’s, “I Hope You Dance.” 

So much of the song stands out to me. For example, 

“I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.” 

My prayer for you is that you will always find wonder in the smallest of things, like the flowers in our garden or the sun shining on a beautiful summer morning.  

“Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance.” 

Nothing is more important than this. Hearing you sing worship songs in the shower makes my heart dance! 

“Never settle for the path of least resistance.” 

Life is about choosing the hard path. Continue to do the hard things well! 

“Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance.” 

This advice is for us all. God’s creation is all around us. Let us not miss it! 

“And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance…I hope you dance.” 

May your dancing continue now, and may it last through eternity. 

I am so grateful to have you as my daughter. JJ would be proud of the woman you are growing into. I am definitely proud. More than proud, however, I am in love. My love for you will never waver. 

Love, 

Dad