Alex Hoffer

A Year in Learning: The Resources That Shaped My 2024

Personal Growth

Instead of writing one last blog post to wrap up the year, I am doing something different. In an attempt to provide value to you, the reader, I am going to share some of the most valuable resources I have utilized this past year:

Three Business/Leadership Books Worth Reading  

I read (or listen to) a lot of books throughout the year. While there are several honorable mentions, the three books listed below are so far ahead of the rest that they deserve special mention. You would do well by focusing on these three books in 2025.

  1. Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish: “Few things will change your trajectory in life or business as much as learning to think clearly. Yet few of us recognize opportunities to think in the first place.”  
  1. Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidera: “The must-read New York Times bestseller that’s redefining hospitality and inspiring readers in every industry. “  
  1. From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks: “The roadmap for finding purpose, meaning, and success as we age, from a bestselling author, Harvard professor, and the Atlantic’s happiness columnist.”

Two Podcasts Worth Listening To 

I have an on-again, off-again relationship with podcasts. It’s sort of like George Costanza’s “It’s not you, it’s me” because I am commitment-challenged with podcasts. With that caveat, here are my latest crushes:

  • The Rest is History: Hosts Tom Holland and Dominic Sandbrook are engaging and fun and allow for differences in opinion. I started with a series on how the Nazis came to power, then did one on the Kennedy assassination, and another on 1968 America. All were phenomenal. 
  • Founders: Shout out to Dr. Brian Hollett for this recommendation. The Founders is an extremely efficient and engaging way to learn from history’s greatest entrepreneurs. I have only listened to a couple so far, but this will be a staple in my podcast rotation. 

One Historical Subject Worth Studying 

I’ve always been interested in Napoleon, but my fascination with him deepened this year after two events: discovering my ancestral connection to Andreas Hofer (whom Napoleon executed, according to my great-grandfather’s 1920s writings) and an inspiring October trip to Paris. 

While there are countless excellent resources on Napoleon, including many podcasts and books (I’m currently 600 pages into Andrew Roberts’ biography), the most compelling reason to study Napoleon is his fundamental role in shaping modern Europe. Without understanding Napoleon’s impact, it’s impossible to grasp how today’s European institutions, legal systems, and national boundaries came to be. 

And a Few Final Lessons to Cap the Year

I began this post by jotting down several lessons I’ve learned but have since trimmed my list to these final three: 

  1. Prioritize what matters. I wrote about this a lot in the fall, most notably in my 10/14 post about rediscovering my priorities.   
  2. Embrace rest, solitude, and Sabbath. Pastor Pete Scazzero often teaches on The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast that “you cannot give what you do not possess.” It is only out of our abundance that we can give to others. Therefore, rest/solitude/sabbath (all three!) are vital to a healthy leader. I am at my best when embracing my limits so that I can rest, be in solitude, and observe the Sabbath.  
  3. Don’t presume you have extended or limited time left.  Pastor John Piper made this point in episode 2096 of the Ask Pastor John podcast, and it really stood out to me. I presume I have decades left because the odds are on my side — for now! But there are no guarantees. Therefore, I need to soak up every second I have left. (And as Piper points out, the same can be said for someone in their 80s. They presume they don’t have decades left, but how do they know?). Simply put, human beings do not have control over their days. 

Come back in January, when I’ll share the leadership tool that had the most significant impact on my work during 2024. Until then, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy New Year. 

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The Power of “We”: 3 Tips for a Solid Marriage

Special Post

Marriage is a journey of continuous learning and growth. And recently, a conversation with my accountability partner sparked insights so valuable, I knew they had to be shared. Our discussion challenged conventional wisdom and reinforced timeless truths about what makes a marriage not just survive, but truly thrive.

Read on to learn three tips for nurturing a successful marriage.

Be 100% to 100%

One often repeated idea about marriage is that each person has to work to a 50/50 split. The intent behind this usually revolves around compromise. The thinking goes that if each person gives in a little, the couple can avoid unnecessary conflict. 

The problem with this approach is that if I want to go to New York and Sarah wants to go to Phoenix, ostensibly, the compromise would be going to some city in the middle of the country. But neither of us would be happy with that compromise! Instead, I would be better off traveling to Phoenix and being 100% in on Sarah’s choice. Or conversely, she would be better off going to New York. 

An all-in marriage — where both partners are 100% — is the way to go on every issue, not just a hypothetical travel conundrum.

One team  

It is easy to be 100% all-in when you view your marriage as “one team.” To be clear, I don’t think I have ever used the term “team” to describe Sarah and me. But that is how we act. We are one unit that is in lockstep and fully aligned. 

If a big decision needs to be made, what matters is not what I want (or what she wants) but what we want.

If one of our wonderfully behaved kids tested our boundaries (okay, they do all the time because they are kids!), it is now not how I react but how we react. We agree on the next steps. 

Marriage is a commitment before it is anything else. It is always WE before ME.  

Never use the word divorce — even in jest 

My accountability partner talked about how seriously he has taken this “rule” with his wife. This reminded me of some off-hand joking comments I made early in our marriage (don’t judge) about divorce. Sarah gave me one of those looks that stopped me in my tracks. Some jokes are off the table. 

There’s a good chance someone reading this blog has been through a divorce — and I want you to know that I share this principle with absolutely no judgment. I do not think I am better than you, nor do I think I have all the answers, nor do I believe my marriage is divorce-proof. I think my marriage, and any marriage for that matter, can dissolve when two human beings are involved. For this reason, I believe this principle is a good one. 

What this principle conveys is that there should be a stickiness to marriage. The vows say it best: through sickness and health. I could add my own junk here: through my annoying sports rooting meltdowns, my aging body that no longer looks like it did when I was 24, my constant self-induced pressure to be better at every aspect of life, my insecurity around my leadership, and how I carry all that junk home and often am irritable, tired, and discouraged. 

You can pray for Sarah, and given what I listed, there could easily be times when she could joke about divorce.  “Keep this up, buddy, and you’ll  ….” 

But she never goes within a million miles of that. 

Why? 

We are 100% to 100% 

We are one team — it is about WE. 

We are all in. 

And what about Sarah’s imperfections? No way. I’m no idiot! (See, now that’s the kind of marriage humor I embrace!) 

My prayer is that these tips help those of you who are married. 

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Learning from Ben: A Birthday Letter to My Son

Uncategorized

Series Introduction 

It has become my annual tradition to write birthday letters to my kids on this blog. I was recently traveling on a business trip, and my mind turned to this year’s letters. 

My kids have so many attributes that I admire and treasure. This reminded me of Paul’s writing in Galatians about the “Fruits of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23). As Paul teaches, these become evident in people when they abide in the Spirit of God. Or, in modern words, when we connect our charger to God, He powers us to display the attributes Paul refers to. 

I am totally biased and bragging, but God has produced these fruits in my kids. Therefore, in this year’s letters, I will identify three fruits that come to mind for each child. Before beginning, here is the scripture to keep in mind while reading these letters: 

[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. — Galatians 5:22-26 NIV

Dear Ben, 

One of the moments I often recall happened when one of my friends came over to watch Game 3 of the World Series. He observed how you kept both your mom and me on our toes. You were just shy of your third birthday at the time, and quite frankly, you were determined to teach us to be more flexible in our plans for the night. My friend looked at me and said, “God knew you needed Ben in your life.”

Amen. 

Like your siblings, there is so much to celebrate in you. What follows are three fruits of the spirit that God has gifted you in abundance: 

Joy

The first thing that I think about when I think about you is joy. You find joy in so much of life: You are the first person on your baseball team to take the field — and by that I mean you run out of the dugout with excitement, delight, and in a full sprint. You are the first person to cheer for your teammates, and you do so with enthusiasm. And at the mention of ice cream, your face lights up like it is both your birthday and Christmas morning. 

One of my favorite moments this past year was the morning I told you that Will’s baseball coach needed a replacement player and wanted you to “play up” with his team. Your reaction was like I was telling you that Dairy Queen was giving you free ice cream for a year! You were fist-pumping, running around the family room, and yelling, “Let’s GO!” I remember thinking to myself that I needed to file this moment away. 

I later realized how much I needed to learn from this moment. I am the kind of person who thinks past the excitement and to the results, so often, my mind goes to all that might go wrong. It is not a healthy way to go through life, and you reminded me that morning that I need to take the opportunities when they come. I was proud of how you approached the game that night, and it was fun watching you excel on the field.  

Goodness 

Another defining characteristic about you is your goodness. Where this comes across most is in your inquisitiveness towards others. For example, I know that when you’re sitting with your uncle at a Blackhawks game, you will ask him 900  different questions. This is another thing I am learning from you as I often struggle formulating questions. You, on the other hand, fire away. Please never lose this. It is such a gift to nurture and further develop. 

As the middle child, you often get pulled in two directions at the same time. This is another area where your goodness shines through. You can play Legos with Sadie and even entertain her by being funny at her level, and then go outside and play a game of football or golf with Will. I appreciate this, and so does your mother. 

Faithfulness

When I think of Biblical faithfulness I think about how the spirit of God makes one trustworthy and reliable. Ultimately, this happens when we trust God and do what his word says. We trust it in the sense that we follow it — to the best of our ability and despite our imperfections — and, therefore, are faithful people. 

I see elements of this in you. When you read God’s word, it is clear you are reading it to follow it. These seeds show up in how you treat your siblings and friends by being someone they can rely on. One of the things I appreciate is how you speak of your friends. I cannot recall criticism; I can only recall you talking about them positively. Carry this into adulthood, and others will describe you as faithful, trustworthy, and a genuine friend. 

A Final Word… 

You have so much potential. I naturally think that about both of your siblings as well and take zero credit for any of it. Rather, I think God has gifted you each uniquely and it is my job, along with your mother, to steward what he has given us. 

With this, I have two specific prayers for you. 

First, I pray that you and your siblings stay close. I pray that you learn from each other as well — I pray that you learn some of Will’s discipline to do hard things, and I pray that Will learns some of your inquisitiveness. I pray that both of you learn how to love like Sadie loves, and that Sadie learns from you and Will that men have self-control and are faithful. Finally, I pray that the joy you possess in abundance characterizes the relationship you all have for the decades to come! 

Secondly, I pray that you root yourself in Jesus. I am not saying this because it is the “Christian thing to say.” I am saying this because I had (and on the wrong day, still have) an appetite for worldly things. That might have been ice cream at one point in my life, but as the years went on it ranged from girls to pleasure to success. None of it fulfilled. The more I sought my life, the more I lost it. The more I tried to find happiness in terms of how our culture defines it, the more I found myself hurt — or worse, hurting others. 

I came to Jesus because I was desperate for life. More than a crutch, however, he was a Savior. I found what he said to be true. I also did a lot of research on the tomb, what happened after his death, and how his earliest followers mostly found similar deaths. I could not wrap my head around someone dying for something they knew to be false. 

So, I made my decision. 

I pray that you, and your siblings, make yours. 

Regardless of what you choose, and regardless of what you do, I love you. 

There are no conditions. 

Love, 

Dad 

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Love Thy Neighbor

Best Of

RE-POST: I invested the last week traveling with my family. Therefore, I am re-posting this letter I wrote to my grandfather for this week’s post:

Dear Papa,

We live in interesting times these days. An opinion article in the WSJ recently pointed to one of the differences between our generations and yours: “In 1960, only 5% of Americans had a negative reaction to the idea of marrying somebody from a different political party; now it’s 38%.” 

This statistic encapsulates our current state as a society. Politics is becoming the primary characteristic of our lives, leading to division.

I usually write blog posts about leadership, and I firmly believe that leadership can be taught. This belief stems from a growth mindset rooted in critical thinking. Unfortunately, I often observe that the most fixed-minded among us are those with the strongest political beliefs: Republicans are evil, Democrats are evil, and both are evil. It is no longer “I disagree.” It is, “Those people are evil.” 

Apparently, it is even “you better not marry one of those people.”  

This makes me sad and concerned about where it will lead our country. 

Having said this, I do not long for a return to the 1950s. While some reading this post might long for the good old days, there has been progress that we should be proud of. Our team at Hoffer Plastics is more diverse than ever, which is a blessing. I am co-CEO with my two sisters, which would have been unheard of in the 1950s.  

But I also have to be honest: not everything we call progress is progress. Our culture is both the most individualistic and, by most studies, the most unhappy, perhaps ever. So, we are not only becoming more politically divided, but we are also becoming more sad in the process. 

I am sharing this because you and your generation prioritized three things that are instructive to me in this cultural moment that we are living in: 

Sacrificial Service

We call your generation the greatest generation because of sacrificial service. Later this year, I will once again stand at Omaha Beach and walk every last gravestone at the American cemetery in Normandy. This is the ultimate example of sacrificial service. These soldiers died together regardless of political identity. 

I also know that you embodied this at a personal level. After V-J day, you came home and worked diligently for your family. You set aside your ambition in music to work at your father-in-law’s pharmacy. This was a personal sacrifice. Your sacrificial service helped your family, which eventually led to me. For this, I am thankful. 

Community 

On one hand, our generation tends to prioritize family over everything else. We easily attend more events than your generation did. But at the same time, I fear that our view of family is smaller in scale than it was for your generation. What I mean is that your generation knew your neighbors well, whereas our generation waves as we drive by our neighbors heading to the next Little League game. We are too busy and scheduled to really know them. 

Your generation also tended to live near grandparents and prioritized family gatherings. Our generation tends to use technology like FaceTime and text messaging to stay in touch. On the one hand, I am thankful for how these technologies keep us connected, but I am also sad at how hard it is to make time for extended family. We tend to live lives that are too scheduled for family reunions. So, we are more connected and yet less known. 

This often leads to surface-level relationships. Our distant relatives’ political rants on social media drive us crazy, not to mention the sign of the opposing party that our neighbor puts up. We roll our eyes in disgust as we drive by, but we do not know much about them outside of this sign in their front yard or the rant on social media. So, it is easier to indulge in our anger and judgment because we have failed to prioritize our community and getting to know them.

Getting to know them would open us up to who they are. We might even discover that while they have different political beliefs than we do, they have an interesting perspective. Community regularly leads to growth: It is hard to hate your neighbors when you know them. Conversely, it is easier to be graceful when you know them.  

Unity

Finally, your generation prioritized unity over division. Decades after the fact, I can still remember dinners with some of your friends, many of whom were veterans of World War II. For the life of me, I cannot remember any of their politics. I cannot remember who was for/against Vietnam, who liked Reagan and who did not, nor can I remember political discussion being all that important.  

What I do remember is a lot of laughter, good food, and better memories. In fact, I still get goosebumps when I visit my friend John and go to Evansville Country Club. I can still hear the laughter and feel the memories come back to life. 

My fear is that our generation’s lasting memory won’t be that of unity but of tribe. We are busy bodies with little time for depth. Our surface-level interactions make us easily offended. No wonder some messages are deemed “unsafe.” 

An Invitation 

But what if we got to know each other? What if we spent time getting to know what makes our neighbor tick? Or, what would happen if we got to know why one of the parents at the Little League game wears a political T-shirt of a candidate we disagree with? 

My guess is that we would learn something in the process and become a little less divided.

As I close, let me assure you, and anyone looking in, that I am not a doomsayer. I believe all things can be restored.  

I am also of this generation, and I have to confess that I can fall into my own tribalism when I am at my worst. Simply put, part of my sadness is a recognition that I sometimes bite the apple and believe this “election is the most important election of our country.” 

But the news will say the same thing in two years, let alone another four. Their business model relies on us biting this apple. 

What I know is that we would be best off putting others above ourselves, getting to know our community, and prioritizing unity over division.

Like your generation, I still believe our best days are yet to come. But these better days are certainly not guaranteed, nor are they promised. They will only come if we wake up and become people worth following. 

The kind that loves their neighbor like themselves. 

I will always miss you. 

Love,

Alex

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Rediscovering My Priorities

Leadership

I spent the last few days at the Path for Growth Leadership Experience. The content was amazing, and the people attending were even better. My hope for every person reading this blog is that they find a conference or group where they can be encouraged and replenished as I was at this event. 

I was there to learn about leadership and gain insights about our business. 

My goodness, did I ever! In fact, there are too many lessons to list. I am sure I will sprinkle them into this blog in the coming months. 

The conference reinforced several vital ideas that are worth revisiting. In fact, I’m intentionally emphasizing three points I discussed in my previous post. This repetition serves two purposes: firstly, these concepts are crucial and deserve additional attention; secondly, one of the leadership lessons I learned at the conference was the importance of consistent reinforcement. Leaders must continually remind their teams of essential principles. So, consider this your reminder of these vital concepts:

Put God first

First, I need to put God first in my life. Let me cut to the chase: I have struggled with inner peace this summer. Nothing profoundly bad has happened, but there have been a bunch of little things that have been frustrating. Isn’t this how life works? 

The problem is that I’ve been centering my prayers on external circumstances — like some hip pain I have experienced playing golf or other physical symptoms. There is nothing wrong with praying about minor health ailments. In fact, if you are going through one right now, there is no better place to turn. 

But God is not a genie in the bottle. 

I have discovered that peace is found only after turning to the off-ramp of your circumstances and onto the country road of God’s sovereignty. It is born from the prayer “Let your will be done,” which isn’t to say that you should not ask for the things that are on your mind, but that you should ask from a place of trust that whatever happens is God’s will and therefore better. 

I need to seek him first, my needs second. 

I confess that I have lacked peace this summer because I drifted. If you have similarly drifted, maybe this is your reminder to seek God first. 

Home life with Sarah

I spent a lot of time this week reflecting on my home life with Sarah. As I said in my last post, I want to be a better husband. But what does “better” even mean? I am considering writing success statements for my marriage, starting with I want to adore my wife and make her feel adored. 

She would have to chime in and evaluate how I have done this year. What I can say is that I know there have been times when I allowed stress to eat at my joy. Often, she and the kids have gotten the leftovers of me, not my best. This is not how I define success.

This was another area of drift for me. With the peace of God, I am rejuvenated to be the best version of myself for Sarah.

My opportunity to make a lasting impact on the world

Third, the conference reminded me that my relationship with my kids is my best opportunity to make a lasting impact on the world. The people they become, the relationship we mutually create, and how they glorify God in their lives — this is primary. 

I need to enhance my attention, focus, and energy here. The years are flying by — as I knew they would — so I need to be intentional about how I am investing my time with them. Furthermore, I need to come home knowing that my purpose is only beginning that particular day. Therefore, I need to be at my best for the three kids God has blessed me with. 

This was another area of drifting for me. Again, with renewed focus on what matters most: God and Sarah, I can be recharged to be the best version of myself for my three kids. 

A time to reprioritize

I went to a leadership conference — and quite frankly it was a reprioritization conference for me. 

I love the work we do at Hoffer Plastics. I hope I convey that in these posts. 

But life is an all-inclusive adventure, which means that leadership is too, because leadership is about humans doing things with humans. 

Therefore, I implore you, and myself, to get these things right. 

As Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Seeking this first has been the only way I have found the fullness of life. 

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43 and Forward: Reflections on Faith, Family, and Leadership

Birthday Post

As I celebrate another year of life — birthday number 43 — I’m using today’s post to document some things I want to be true one year from now. 

As always, I am going to be vulnerable and real. If you read this blog regularly, that is what you get. No ghostwriter. Just me. To that end, I hope this post inspires you to think about your next year. What do you want to be true about it? What are you doing to pursue it? 

Here goes mine: 

Growing in my walk with Jesus

Most importantly, I want to grow in my walk with Jesus. I want to dig deeper into His Word, memorize more of it, and allow it to transform my personality. God, help me become more loving of other people. Help me lead with truth AND compassion. 

I also want to be someone who talks more openly with others about Jesus. And I know this will totally weird some of you out — which is not my intent. But the more I read about Jesus in His word, the more I see how his way is the way to life: It truly is more blessed to give than receive. Turning your cheek is better than spending your limited energy on fighting. And the pursuit of truth, especially in a culture that quite frankly is post-truth, is worthy of your pursuit. I could go on and on here, but I will say that my only hope is tied to the resurrected Jesus. 

I am not great. I am definitely sinful. Don’t let a blog post or LinkedIn profile with a few likes mislead you. I need Jesus, period. And I am unashamed to say that in this blog. If that weirds you out, so be it. I still love you because my cup runs over when I am full of Jesus’ love. 

When I am not, I am a jerk. 

A better husband and father

I want to be MORE faithful to Sarah. No confession is forthcoming, but I strive to be an even better husband 365 days from now than I am today. Period, bottom line. Sarah is still amazing to me. I need to cherish the limited time we have. While I hope it is another 50-plus years, there are no guarantees. 

I want to be a better dad to Will, Ben, and Sadie. What does “better” mean? I want to focus on the best things. That means — you guessed it — I want to talk more about Jesus and less about baseball. I am going to weird them out, too! Seriously, I have noticed that I often treat secondary things as main things and main things (like my faith in Jesus) as secondary. This has been entirely unintentional. But I am owning up to it. I will live this year differently. 

Further, I want to be the kind of dad who speaks love into his kids while teaching them the truth. What I mean by that is that I’m teaching them things like actions have consequences, life is not about participation trophies, and doing hard things is necessary. 

Finally, I will engage in their fun because I need more fun, and living in this broken world, they do too! 

My work at Hoffer Plastics

Have you noticed that I have not yet mentioned being a leader at Hoffer Plastics — or work in general? That makes me wonder: Why do I spend so much time worrying about Hoffer Plastics? 

Would getting the primary things right help or hurt my work at Hoffer Plastics? 

These are the questions that I’m pondering. What about you? 

One year from now, I want to be ALL-IN with our work at Hoffer Plastics. This does not contradict what I said above; it just comes in the appropriate order of priority. 

I want to be a better leader. I want to ask more questions, give more affirmations, and take more interest in people. And at the same time, I want to be the kind of leader who focuses on the few things that will move the needle for our organization rather than the many things we have to get done. 

To be sure, the latter things need to be done, but they cannot be done at the expense of the former. This is probably not applicable to everyone reading this blog, but it is for those in executive-level positions. To the best of our ability, we must look ahead six to twelve months and prepare our team for what is coming. 

I also want to be a more generous leader, giving team members, customers, and established partners the time they deserve.  

Finally, I want to be the kind of person who is rigid on the primary things and flexible on everything else. At my worst, I get stressed out about things that won’t matter. Will my sports teams figure it out? What will happen with the election? What’s the next book I should read to improve my leadership? These are things worth considering, but they are all secondary. I think about these questions and thousands of other things way too much — and at the expense of focusing on what truly matters. 

This is not a perfect list because I am not a perfect man. 

This IS an imperfect list because I am an imperfect man, saved by grace, thanks to Jesus. 

To another year

I have one last thought, and I hope Sarah reads this: I am thankful for another year of life! I am 43. Pass out t-shirts!  

I am thankful for another year. Thank you, God, for 43. 

Thank you, God, for another year. Thank you for Jesus, Sarah, the kids, and work. 

Yes, thank you that I have a job and get to work. 

Thank you for this blog and the fun I have writing it. 

Here is to another year! 

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Leadership Lessons from the Little League Sidelines

Leadership

With two boys playing on four baseball teams this spring, I decided to take the year off from coaching. I thought it would give me the opportunity to drive the boys to their practices and games and help Sarah manage the chaotic schedule. While I suspected I would miss certain aspects of coaching, I also thought that I would not miss the chaos of leaving work early to get to games and practices. 

Early in the season, I discovered that I was not going to simply spectate. Given my interest in leadership, I soon realized that I had a literal front-row seat to how four different volunteer coaches went about coaching their players. 

Here is what I learned:  

Positive affirmation enhances confidence and performance 

Both boys had coaches who are more positive than just about any coach I know. Will’s in-house coach has positive nicknames for his kids. For example, Will’s nickname is “stud.” “Hey stud,” he will cheer, “you got this.” Then I see my son’s shoulders lift a little higher, and unsurprisingly, so does his play. 

Meanwhile, one of Ben’s coaches similarly talks about the kids using the positive tense. “You are going to get a hit here,” he says with a huge smile. One kid, for example, looked so lost during the first part of the season that I did not think he had a chance. And then you know what happened? One Monday night in early May, he got an RBI base hit! We all clapped and cheered, but no one cheered louder than the coach. 

This has challenged me to use positive affirmations much more than I currently do. I want to be like both of these leaders. I keep asking myself, what positives do I see when I walk around our facility? And more importantly, am I sharing those with the people making those positive things happen? 

Are you doing the same where you work?  

The leader sets the tone of the team. 

One of the boys’ all-star teams struggled this year. The coaches on that team, all volunteers, were trying their best. They were very competitive, just like I am at the workplace. As the season progressed, the team become tight, afraid to make mistakes, and their play suffered. Their pitchers were “aiming” the ball instead of throwing it, and the batters were gripping the bat a little tighter with two strikes. It was a rough patch that all baseball teams go through. 

In the midst of it, things took another turn on a Friday morning via the team’s chat message board. One of the assistants posted that he wanted to teach the boys how to throw curve balls at that evening’s practice. He meant well, and I honestly believe he just wanted to teach them a new skill that could help them. But chaos ensued. Every parent voiced their discomfort teaching twelve-year-olds how to throw curve balls. While I agreed that this was a bad idea, I did not want to pile on. 

Then the head coach spoke up: 

“On this team, we will not throw curve balls.”

He then did something brilliant by sharing a Word document with the exact practice plans for the night.

I discovered that despite a leader’s best efforts, there will be times when they are not aligned with their team. When that happens, it is important to set the tone and be transparent. Our coach’s leadership reminded me that I need to make sure I give crystal clear direction to our team and be as transparent as possible. 

What message do you need to share with your team? 

Celebrate the wins

Finally, one of Ben’s coaches made a rule during April that he would take the kids to Dairy Queen after every third win. In all my years of coaching Little League, I have never seen more focus or hunger (literally and figuratively) than this team when they were on the verge of getting that third win. 

As of this writing, they are 10-3 on the season. In fact, the other night was another Dairy Queen Monday night. While I took two of my three kids home after the game (we did Dairy Queen pre-game to accommodate my daughter’s bedtime!), Sarah went with Ben to DQ. When she came home, she told me what had happened: 

“Mark (the Head Coach) was like one of the kids. As the kids convinced their parents to honk their car horns as they passed, Mark just laughed and laughed.” 

I have so much to learn from Mark. As a Type-A leader I should probably start by taking our team to DQ and having fun. 

I also have to celebrate the wins when they come because leadership is hard. 

And you know what?  

So should you. 

Coming home 

I will end this post unconventionally. As a dad in the thick of little league busyness, I often hear older parents advise that I will miss all this. At the risk of sounding awful, I do not think I will miss about 49% of it. I won’t miss parents arguing with umpires, I won’t miss always feeling like I am in a hurry to leave Hoffer Plastics and make the game on time — leaving me with a guilty feeling on both ends — and I certainly won’t miss the little league coaches that take it all way too seriously. 

But there is 51% that I am going to miss. I am going to miss my son Ben fist pumping, as he did 45 minutes ago when I told him Will’s team needed him to play up tonight; I am going to miss coaches like the ones I mentioned above. And more than anything else, I am going to miss having a game of catch with my boys on an early summer night—so much so that I had to pause my writing before continuing writing this post…

I actually had one of those moments last night. Will was pitching on the mound, Ben and I played catch on the side while watching his game, and Sarah and Sadie were in the stands. 

My little league dreams might not have come true, but my Field of Dreams did. And thanks be to God and his goodness, I hit the home run I dreamt of as a little boy.

“Dad, can we have a catch?”

“I would like that Ben.”

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What the Oregon Trail Taught Me About Leadership

Best Of

I went to grade school in the 1980s. And if you’re of a certain age, you remember that going to the computer lab was a big deal back then. In fact, one of my favorite things to do when I earned free lab time was to play The Oregon Trail. My buddies and I competed, as only pre-adolescent boys can do, by seeing who could race towards Oregon the fastest. But none of us ever made it close to Oregon’s Willamette Valley. We pushed our digital families to the extreme, usually ending in their in-game demise of some disease like dysentery. 

I shouldn’t be surprised that my own boys (who now play the game on an iPad!) basically do the same thing I did back in the 80s. They push their crews fast, ignore the health warnings, and laugh when their characters give out. After watching this for long enough, I decided to give the game a try as an adult.

The first decision I made was on the crew. I ensured the crew had diverse backgrounds and talents. I read each character’s profiles, ensuring I had people who could fix things, socialize, and even negotiate. Next, I made sure to buy extra medical supplies and food for the journey. After all, I thought, you never know what kinds of obstacles are going to come up on the Oregon Trail! 

As I started the game, I chose “walking” as our pace because I didn’t want to burn anyone out. I also made sure to allow our team to rest whenever the computer gave me the option. I even had the team stop and talk to people on the journey so that my “social health” indicator stayed green. 

About an hour later, with my crew all still healthy and progressing toward Oregon, my son said to me, “You’re good at this game!” 

The Leadership Lesson  

What I learned from this gameplay was three things: 

First, I learned that to do well in the game, you must lead people well. In short, that means you ensure they’re fed, that they have medical supplies, and they can take breaks and rest when they need to. Additionally, you must ensure there’s enough social interaction for everyone to stay engaged and healthy. And in case you miss the implication, this is exactly how you lead people in real life as well! 

Second, understanding the “how to” of leading others is only the first part of it. The most important part is actually doing it. That means helping your team slow down when they get tired, and providing opportunities for social interaction when it’s needed — along with countless other things that you have to observe and act upon. This all takes awareness and a desire to help people. 

Lastly, to do all the above, you have to lead yourself well. It’s often easier to do these things for others than for yourself. But pushing yourself past fatigue, failing to rest, and neglecting to make time for social interaction will negatively impact your health — all things that can make you sick and make you less effective in leading others. 

So how can you apply the above lessons to your leadership as we enter the summer months? Think about these questions:

Do you need to provide your team with opportunities to socialize? 

Do you need to provide your team with opportunities to rest? 

Or do you need to focus on yourself? 

Do you need to socialize? 

Do you need to rest? 

The start of summer is a good time to take this quick assessment so that you can stay on track for the second half of the year. 

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A Letter to Will

Birthday Post

Series Introduction

It has become my annual tradition to write birthday letters to my kids on this blog. I was recently traveling on a business trip, and my mind turned to this year’s letters. 

My kids have so many attributes that I admire and treasure. This reminded me of Paul’s writing in Galatians about the “Fruits of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23). As Paul teaches, these become evident in people when they abide in the Spirit of God. Or, in modern words, when our charger is connected to God, we are powered by him to display the attributes Paul refers to. 

I am totally biased and bragging, but God has produced these fruits in my kids. Therefore, in this year’s letters, I will identify three fruits that come to mind for each child. Before beginning, here is the scripture to keep in mind while reading these letters: 

[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. — Galatians 5:22-26 NIV

Dear Will,

I am writing this letter shortly after watching you play five baseball games over 48 hours. The next day, you walked 18 holes in a golf tournament despite the heat and humidity. Your energy reminds me of my own a long time ago, and now I can only stand in admiration. 

As Mom and I tell all three of you, your performance on the field does not matter all that much. You can strike out 100 times in a row, and we will not love you any less. Or, you can strike out 100 batters in a row, and we will not love you any more. As you age, I pray that you own this lesson: Unconditional love has zero conditions. 

And continuing on the theme of thinking about the Fruits of the Spirt, here are three fruits God has given you in abundance…

Patience 

Your patience has stood out during the baseball season this year. Despite success with your in-house team, you weren’t pitching in your all-star games. While I was frustrated, you seemingly were not. You stuck with it. When I asked whether you were frustrated about hitting lower in the lineup, your response was mature: “I have not gotten any big hits yet, so I should be in the lower part of the lineup for now.”

You were not dissuaded. You continued to show up and work at practices. Because of this, one of your coaches took a liking to you and began working with you on pitching. He taught you how to throw a “cutter” and advocated for you to get pitching opportunities. As your father, what I liked most about this was that I had nothing to do with it — this didn’t come as the result of me having some kind of talk with the coaches. It came because you were patient and hard-working. 

Fast forward to this past weekend, and there you were, closing out the first playoff game and throwing three scoreless innings in the second. You also had multiple big hits. Your patience was rewarded! 

Kindness 

Perhaps the most remarkable fruit you possess is your kindness. You can leave an all-star baseball game, come home and shower, and then play with your sister in a way that meets her where she is. This flexibility teaches me that I need to be the kind of man who meets people wherever they are, regardless of what I have going on. Your play with her also has a sense of freedom and joy that is instructive. My prayer for you is that you never lose this. Don’t “grow up” in this area. Instead, let your inner child continue to adulthood.

The other reason I think about your kindness is twofold. First, I think it is one of the defining features of your mother and something you have shared with her since you were born. Secondly, it is what I hear about you from your coaches. In fact, when you accidentally tossed your bat running to first base in an in-house league game in June, your coach told the opposing coach, “I know Will did not do that on purpose. He is the kindest kid on our team.” That was a “home run” for your mother and me. 

Self-Control 

While your kindness reminds me of your mother, your self-control (and discipline) remind me of myself. I can come home from lunch and know that you’ll be doing what you must to get your schoolwork done. Whether it’s Latin, science, or math, it doesn’t matter. I also know that you’ll practice baseball and golf with a commitment to excellence. 

However, one aspect of your self-control that I can learn from is your ability to stay cool in the moment. Whether you are pitching in a late-inning of a tournament game or playing in a golf tournament, you exhibit an outward expression of self-control and confidence. Potential results do not intimidate you. Rather, you just throw the next pitch or make the next shot. I admire this — and aim to embrace it in my own golf game and at work! 

One Last Reminder… 

One thing I have fought — and had to learn time and time again — is that my identity is not based on my performance. Honestly, at my worst, I am killing myself on the inside for missing the putt in golf, saying the wrong thing at work, and failing to lead our business to the success I know we can obtain. This is the downside of self-drive, determination, and discipline. 

The reality is that no amount of good work will ever save me or give me a lasting feeling of success and significance. 

I have discovered that Paul was right when he said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

In this famous passage, Paul reminds the church of Corinth that human weakness (Paul’s thorn in the flesh) provides the ideal opportunity for the display of God’s power. 

Failure and weakness are inevitable. No amount of self-control, kindness, or patience will deliver you from this. Only Jesus will. And only with Jesus will you be able to exhibit these fruits amid weakness and failure. Doing so is maturity. 

The point is that regardless of your ability to do this, and despite the inevitable slip-ups, mistakes, and losses, your mom and I love you. 

There are no conditions. 

Love, 

Dad  

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A Letter to Sadie 

Birthday Post

Series Introduction

It has become my annual tradition to write birthday letters to my kids on this blog. I was recently traveling on a business trip, and my mind turned to this year’s letters. 

My kids have so many attributes that I admire and treasure. This reminded me of Paul’s writing in Galatians about the “Fruits of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23). As Paul teaches, these become evident in people when they abide in the Spirit of God. Or, in modern words, when our charger is connected to God, we are powered by him to display the attributes Paul refers to. 

I am totally biased and bragging, but God has produced these fruits in my kids. Therefore, in this year’s letters, I will identify three fruits that come to mind for each child. Before beginning, here is the scripture to keep in mind while reading these letters: 

[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. — Galatians 5:22-26 NIV

Dear Sadie,

I am writing your letter from a hotel in Northern Italy on the last day of a three-and-a-half-day business trip in early summer. Our trip ended with a dinner last night, at which one of the attendees asked me:  “I once was told that there is nothing better in the entire world than an 8-year-old daughter. Is that true?” 

As my emotions welled up, I could hardly answer. 

Love 

The first word that comes to mind when I think about you is love. Of course, I love your brothers, your mom, and Jesus, too! But I think about it in relation to you because you radiate love. As you enter a room, so does love. If your presence were weather, it would be the longest sunny day of the year because the love you radiate is energizing and warm. 

One of my favorite moments this year was watching you dance during your dance recital in May. For a moment, all the other girls disappeared, and you were alone (at least in my mind) twirling and smiling in the middle of the stage. It was a precious moment for me — one that I could relive a hundred lifetimes. 

Peace 

You’ve had conflicts with your brother Ben this year — nothing outside the norm, but they have been present. What’s behind this is often your twofold desire to have his time and attention and your drive for peace. You have a motherly desire for things to be right and peaceful. It is one of the things that I most admire about you. 

This is also one of the gifts that you give me. In addition to your love, your presence brings me a sense of peace, making all my cares, stresses, and worries disappear. There have been multiple occasions this year where you have snuggled up next to me, and all my problems have melted away like a snowman on a late winter’s day. You are simply a gift to me. 

Gentleness 

Finally, you have the most gentle soul of any one of us. This is exhibited by your sensitivity to animals — whether they are real or stuffed — it doesn’t matter! Even though you are the youngest, you mother your brothers by showing compassion to them through your gentleness. 

Nowhere is this more evident to me than through your hugs. There have been more times than I can count when, just before I am about to leave for the office in the morning, you get up from your breakfast and come over and hug me. Those moments are quite possibly the best moments of my life. They bring more love, peace, and gentleness into my soul than I can count for a thousand lifetimes. 

A Final Note 

As a father, “About Time” has become my favorite movie of all time. There are moments in that movie that make me think about your mother and all three of my kids. Beyond that, there is also the age-old lesson that time always passes, even for the time traveler. 

I don’t want this time to pass. As much as I look forward to days in the future, even walking you down the aisle, I do not want those days to come. 

At least not yet. 

From this movie, I learned how much I have to treasure life right now. Nothing is guaranteed, and the moments we have are all that we have. 

I have done my best to treasure these moments with you — and to be sure, you make them worth treasuring. The problem is that the attributes you display are so abundant and rich that it would take a thousand lifetimes to soak them all in and not miss anything. 

The reality is that however great these moments are, they are only a taste of what will come. Not only that, but the son of God, Jesus, exhibits them all in indescribable abundance. He, after all, is the tree from which our fruit originates. So, I will end this letter by treasuring every second I have with you this coming year and maintaining the perspective that the best is still to come in this world and the next. 

My life would not have been complete without you as my daughter. 

I thank Jesus for this every single day. 

I love you, 

Dad 

A Letter to Sadie  Read More »